Hello everyone and anyone,
How do I go about getting my ex's parental rights to our 4 year old son terminated? Is this something I can do without a lawyer?
It's a long story about why I have come to this decision but in a few lines I will paint a picture for better understanding.
The father (my ex husband) does not pay his child support and has done this ( according to his family members) to three other children that I found out about a few months ago almost 2 years after our divorce.
He skips from state to state and job to job to avoid his CS. He owes our son almost $10,000 is back support and called a few days ago asking if I can go down to the Attorney General's office and tell them I he paid it to me and for them o give him credit so he can get his drivers license restored (the CS agency had it revoked and a warrant out for his arrest). He wanted me to help him out. What a joke really.. since our divorce I have been a single mother with two children working a full time job while struggling to get a home based business off the ground. I get about 5 hours sleep a night, pay all the bills and do all the house chores.. what right does this man have to ask me that?
He has seen this little boy who has a heart decease for a number of about 5 times in two years and those times where the times I have helped him out and allowed him to stay at my home until he found one of his own.
YES I hate to use this word for anyone but he is what is labeled a 'DEAD BEAT.'
Honestly I don't know if I am doing the right thing but in my heart this is what I fell to be the best thing.
I am a firm believer of not bashing the other parent regardless of their actions, to me kids will grow up and see for themselves.
I have always kept them together and helped him to be apart of his son's life.. but I think I have come to the end of my rope and this decision is what is best for my household.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can go about getting his parental rights terminated?
Our divorce was simple, I did not ask for anything not even child support I was forced by the state to file for child support after I applied for Medicaid for the boys. The divorce states that it's joint custody with living arrangements two weeks at a time for each parent until school age reaches and we will agree whom he will be living with. I have had this child 100 percent of the time since he left and I have proof of that.
What do I need to do and where do I go from here?
I would greatly appreciate any help from anyone. Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

As a paralegal, I can't give you legal advice, but I do know that in South Dakota, you simply cannot terminate the father's rights without his permission. Also, here, if you were to terminate the father's rights, you'd lose all the back child support... however it sounds as though you aren't concerned about the child support since you'll probably never get it.

I'd suggest contacting legal aid where you live to see if there is anything you can do - to either get your support or to get rid of the guy.

Good luck.

Thanks for taking the time to answer, I appreciate it. I am pretty sure that anywhere on US soil that I may not be able to do it without his approval and that shouldn't be a problem.. he is willing to do anything to get his license back. He is remarried now and he needs that new part of his life in order. As for the back child support I will never see it and I really don't mind.
I know that there are always three sides of a story, mine, his and the truth and I will not try to down grade him because of my personal feelings of him, that is not my job; but I have had enough of him and his threats, lies and lacking the ability or drive to be a parent. So at this point, NO, getting child support is not in my sight at all.
And I have taken your advice to contact legal aid to get an idea of what steps I need to take. Thank you again.
I see so many families out there fighting after a separation or a divorce and to the rational mind you would think that they should be fighting over the kids and their well being but it's not that way is it? It's all about the money. I will not put my children through that.. no money in the world will ever cause a disruption in my home, it's not worth it. There are too many precious things to live for.
To me I was 100% responsible for bringing my children into the world and that makes me 100% responsible for taking care of them. Most people would say "you didn't make them by yourself why do it by yourself," my response "My children happiness is what counts and I am making them happy." The life the live now is what they take on the rest of their days.
Have a great everyone and God Bless!

I'm not sure you can just "have his parental rights terminated" unless someone wanted to adopt your child (for example, if you were to remarry and your new husband wanted to adopt and become the child's legal father.) In that case you'd petition the Family Division of Superior Court and file a motion to allow the man in question to adopt the child. The father would have to sign a consent form. Then his rights (and future responsibilities) would be ended, though he'd still owe the back child support that had accrued prior to the time the adoption was finalized.

Hi,
I know your frustration. I got divorced 5 years ago, I have 3 kids with him. After being court ordered to pay 1000/mo, he moved back to NY so he wouldn't have to pay. He never has seen the kids again, paid any money, not even a birthday card. I am remarried now and my husband of 3 years is the only daddy they know. He is the one who pays for health insurance, daycare, dental, braces, camp, clothes, etc. We had a baby last year and he wants to adopt the kids. I am owed 60,000 dollars as of Dec 2006. More important than the money is your peace of mind and the welfare of your child. Get him out permanently. But, you'll have to get legal help. I don't know how long a parent has to be absent from a child's life before they are considered as "Abandonment". Good Luck... and Bless both you and your baby.

:(

“...An alleged father must be served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity. YOu will have to prove the child is his ...The father has 30 days after getting the Notice, or after the child is born, whichever is later to file court papers. If he does not do this, after being properly served, the Court can end his parental rights.

You must file a Petition to Terminate Parental Rights. The most common reason for a judge to end the father’s parental rights is that he has abandoned the child.

Abandonment is when a father leaves suddenly his child with anyone who is not the mother for 6 months or more, or when he leaves the child with the mother for 1 year or more, with little or no communication with the child.
A judge may also consider failure to pay child support as intent to abandon a child.

There are other reasons that a judge will end the mother’s or father’s parental rights, including habitual drug use or a felony conviction.

The Court will not end a Father’s or Mother’s or both parents...parental rights unless it finds clear and convincing evidence. ...”

Always remember... it depends on the state that you reside in...
*Note the social security numbers are used to track down funds for child support... From the dead beat parents... true fact... those receiving social security child support will be taken... they can run but cannot hide... children first!

From what I know, you usually cannot terminate his rights without his agreement. The only way you might be able to without it, is you cannot find him after a reasonable attempt to locate. Further, termination of rights affects custody and visitation, not financial responsibility. The primary reason for termination of rights is adoption by another person.

Generally, if the custodial parent has to use public assistance (like Medicaid), then the govt will try to recover it. Most likely, anything they recover will go to reimbursement and not to you. So if you agreed and signed that he paid you, they would then come after you for they money to reimburse what they paid out!

I would just tell this deadbeat to climb a tree. Tell him, you will not lie or help him in any other way. But I wouldn't bother with the termination of parental rights. Its really meaningless.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nik258

Hello everyone and anyone,
how do I go about getting my ex's parental rights to our 4 year old son terminated? Is this something I can do without a lawyer?
It's a long story about why I have come to this decision but in a few lines I will paint a picture for better understanding.
The father (my ex husband) does not pay his child support and has done this ( according to his family members) to three other children that I found out about a few months ago almost 2 years after our divorce.
He skips from state to state and job to job to avoid his CS. He owes our son almost $10,000 is back support and called a few days ago asking if I can go down to the Attorney General's office and tell them I he paid it to me and for them o give him credit so he can get his drivers license restored (the CS agency had it revoked and a warrant out for his arrest). He wanted me to help him out. What a joke really.., since our divorce I have been a single mother with two children working a full time job while struggling to get a home based business off the ground. I get about 5 hours sleep a night, pay all the bills and do all the house chores.., what right does this man have to ask me that?
He has seen this little boy who has a heart decease for a number of about 5 times in two years and those times where the times I have helped him out and allowed him to stay at my home until he found one of his own.
YES I hate to use this word for anyone but he is what is labeled a 'DEAD BEAT.'
Honestly I don't know if I am doing the right thing but in my heart this is what I fell to be the best thing.
I am a firm believer of not bashing the other parent regardless of their actions, to me kids will grow up and see for themselves.
I have always kept them together and helped him to be apart of his son's life.., but I think I have come to the end of my rope and this decision is what is best for my household.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can go about getting his parental rights terminated?
Our divorce was simple, I did not ask for anything not even child support I was forced by the state to file for child support after I applied for Medicaid for the boys. The divorce states that it's joint custody with living arrangements two weeks at a time for each parent until school age reaches and we will agree whom he will be living with. I have had this child 100 percent of the time since he left and I have proof of that.
What do I need to do and where do I go from here?
I would greatly appreciate any help from anyone. Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

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Call your local probate court. That's where I went. They will help you. Or dcf(department of children & family not sure what it is there) the court will also provide a child advocate for your child.