Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   Being Rejected. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=381311)

  • Jul 29, 2009, 04:51 PM
    soccer14
    Being Rejected.
    Im a 14 year old male and I'm in love with my best friend. She is truly amazing. I know you might say I'm too young but I know that I am. We've been friends for almost a year and dated twice before. I never really got over it but she did. We dated other people but our connection is like a magnet. I told her that I still had feelings for her but she said she just wants to be friends because she thinks of me as a big bro.:( What do I do? I can't just give up right? Please help me.:(
  • Jul 29, 2009, 04:59 PM
    Sassy_Girl89
    Well, if you REALLY REALLY like her a lot, then try giving her flowers with a little card on them saying that you really do care for her a lot, and that you want her to think of you as MORE than a big bro! But if she rejects you again, then my suggestion would be to move on!
  • Jul 29, 2009, 05:07 PM
    artlady

    You can't make someone have feelings for you that they just don't have.
    She has been honest with you and if you want to continue to have her as a friend you need to accept her feelings and respect them.

    Sometimes we just don't get what we want in this life and that is one of the hardest lessons there is to learn as you grow up.

    You have to be mature and accept the reality of the situation.

    If it is too difficult for you to be around her as a friend than perhaps you should distance yourself from her until you are truly over her.
  • Jul 29, 2009, 05:13 PM
    taoplr
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by soccer14 View Post
    Im a 14 year old male and im in love with my best friend. She is truly amazing. I know you might say im too young but i know that i am. We've been friends for almost a year and dated twice before. I never really got over it but she did. We dated other people but our connection is like a magnet. I told her that I still had feelings for her but she said she just wants to be friends because she thinks of me as a big bro.:( What do I do?? I can't just give up right? Please help me.:(

    One of the hardest things about young romance is being the "brother" type, big or little. It means that you are safe, trustworthy, easy to be with, and a good guy, but you are not "hot" in her mind. When you tell her how you feel, she only will feel pressure and embarrassment, because she cares for you and doesn't want to hurt you, but doesn't feel what you do.

    Don't try to become someone you think she will fall in love with; it will backfire. Stay friends, be yourself, take her out when you feel like it, treat her with respect, and keep your passions and desires in check. If you can do that, you have a chance of her turning around. It will take patience and an iron will, but if you can do that, you are mature enough to have a truly loving relationship. It might be with her and it might not, but that won't matter.

    Tao
  • Jul 29, 2009, 05:18 PM
    AManWithNoName

    You can give up, unless you're a
  • Jul 29, 2009, 06:25 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by soccer14 View Post
    I can't just give up right?

    You can, and you should.

    You've already had her as a girlfriend. For whatever reason, that didn't work.
    Then you tried again, and it still didn't work.
    Then she rejected you.

    Third time's the charm. Take the message kid, she just isn't that into you. Just be her friend, and be there if she ever needs you, but leave her alone as far as an "intimate relationship" is concerned. If there is anything that may make her fall for you now, it will be proving to her that you don't just want her, but you want her friendship.
  • Jul 29, 2009, 06:29 PM
    N0help4u

    Enjoy your friendship where its at. She is comfortable with things the way they are so why blow it by scaring her off or pressuring her. Its better to have her as a friend for a long time than lose her over something she doesn't want.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 01:45 AM
    miss 226

    Well, Sounds to me like first love.

    Im only 2 years older than you, not far apart... and Just went through the same Phase.

    Love at first sight, I even thought we would get married, move in, live our lives together. I did everything for him, He had health problems, I was the first one to see him in the hospital. He wanted something I was always think of way to get it for him. It was like He was controlling my life without even trying. I even made the mistake of getting intiment with him, (not so much of a mistake on the person, just a mistake on the timing. I wasn't ready for it.) and from there it all went down hill.

    Love comes with a lot of challenges, And it might be why Parents always say "YOUR NOT IN LOVE, YOUR TO YOUNG TO BE IN LOVE" I think, you never to young to be in love, but... you may be to young to understand the difference between love and being In-love. Love is feeling that you have for somebody, being in-love... Changes who you are.

    Im talking as if Im an expert, no one is an expert on love. You just roll with the punches, If you can take it then props to you. Just know when enough is enough, stand your ground when your feeling hurt or cheated in the situation. But play your cards smartly too.

    YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CONVINCE SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU. Period.

    My advice to you, Yea its OK to show you care for her. But don't come on to strong. Know when its time to back off a little and give her time to think. Don't pressure her, and don't criticize her discission .

    And if her choice is not to further the relationship, Know there's PLENTY of others out there, and with time and experience, you will find the girl for you.

    P.S. The boys I was talking about... Cheated on me only a couples months after we got intiment . Being in-love isn't a bowl of cherries, it comes with resposibiltes, challenges, and consequences... Believe me.

    -Miss 226
  • Jul 30, 2009, 11:52 PM
    godsbabygirl267

    I know that this isn't an answer you want. But usually once a girl pulls the "brother" card out, then things are pretty well finished. Your best bet is to move on. Honestly there are more people out there, and you'll fall "in love" with someone else.
  • Aug 1, 2009, 09:57 PM
    indensarah

    My boyfriend was the same as you. We were friends for maybe 2 years and dated to. Then I started to think of him like a bro and I would not go out with again. He really loved me so one day he came up to me and out of know were he kissed me. So it changed my mind and now were dating. Well so bottom line is just kiss her and then she what she think of you then.
  • Aug 1, 2009, 10:26 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by indensarah View Post
    My boyfriend was the same as you. we were friends for maybe 2 years and dated to. Then I started to think of him like a bro and I would not go out with again. He really loved me so one day he came up to me and out of know were he kissed me. So it changed my mind and now were dating. Well so bottom line is just kiss her and then she what she think of you then.

    Wouldn't recommend this. It may have worked for you, but it she REALLY doesn't like you like that, you could ruin any chance of a friendship with this girl.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:52 AM.