I am trying to adopt a beautiful baby girl. She has been with me since she came home from the hospital. She is 3 weeks old today. I have the paperwork from her mother, but the father is giving me trouble. He does not want her, but he also does not want his wife and children to find out. He lives in another state. This is very hard for me and my family because we love her and are scared of losing her. Neither the father nor the mother have anything to do with her. The father has seen her once, and not got her anything. The mother does see her, but only because she lives with my neighbors. The baby has never stayed with the mother and the mother has only bought one bottle and one outfit. What is my best option to hurry this along. Should I do child abandonment, unknown father, or guardianship (until the father is comfortable that his family will not find out)?

You say you know who the father is but want to know if you can lie and say you do not?

Very dangerous practice and no one here is going to advise you to break the law in this manner.

What they do or don't provide for the baby is (bottom line) immaterial because abandonment is not a cause to remove custody from the parents (if that's what you are thinking).

If you want to adopt the child, retain an Attorney and get all the paperwork in order, including notices to both parents. If you are talking about taking Guardianship, it's pretty much the same procedure.

What paperwork has the mother signed that allowed you to take the baby? What type of custody do you have now concerning medical treatment if the child needs it, health insurance, that type of thing?

There is no reason for his family to find out.

You NEED a lawyer. Walking into adoption without one is like walking into the Sahara without water---you're going to have serious troubles, if not now, then later.

If you know who the father is, and you claim (or the birthmother claims) unknown father, that's either going to blow the whole thing open while the state has her list EVERY guy she'd been with, and then they subpoena those men for DNA tests. It ALSO means that if you claim it, and she doesn't name him as a possible, then he can come back and take your child away later.

BOTH parents MUST sign over parental rights for you to adopt---and if you are doing this privately, you STILL need a lawyer to make sure that you are meeting ALL requirements for an adoption to take place.

Get a lawyer. Get one yesterday. You will have NOTHING but issues without one.

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Originally Posted by sodapop73

I am trying to adopt a beautiful baby girl. She has been with me since she came home from the hospital. She is 3 weeks old today. I have the paperwork from her mother, but the father is giving me trouble. He does not want her, but he also does not want his wife and children to find out. He lives in another state. This is very hard for me and my family because we love her and are scared of loosing her. Neither the father nor the mother have anything to do with her. The father has seen her once, and not got her anything. The mother does see her, but only because she lives with my neighbors. The baby has never stayed with the mother and the mother has only bought one bottle and one outfit. What is my best option to hurry this along. Should I do child abandonment, unknown father, or guardianship (until the father is comfortable that his family will not find out)?

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I do have an attorney, but it is taking forever. I just feel like I am stuck at a fork in the road. The mother has signed away all rights to the child already. My attorney has all of her paperwork. So I have no papers from the court, so currently the child has no insurance or anything. It is sad that a parent would do this to a child. I was just trying to find out is there is another way to get it done without the dad.

No, there is no way to accomplish an adoption (if that is what you are asking about) without lying to the Court.

And "Syn" covered that.

"I have the paperwork from her mother," what paperwork are you talking about? Not sure where you live but folks can't just give their kids away like this. "I do have an attorney, but it is taking forever" its only been 3 weeks max, adoption can take a year so be patient. Are you licensed as a foster parent with the state or any child welfare agency?