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-   -   I'm 14 and preganat and boyfriend left me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=380652)

  • Jul 28, 2009, 02:23 AM
    Mama to be
    I'm 14 and preganat and boyfriend left me
    Ima 14 years old my name is Oceanea me and my boyfriend had sex and the condom broke and ima about 8 weeks pregnant 7-27-09 he left me and now ima a 14 year old and a single mom and 8 weeks pregnant I don't know what to do. Yea he nos my mom and dad no not to happy my hole family is seeing that ima getting bigger and they are asking? And I don't know what to do. I need some help really :(
  • Jul 28, 2009, 03:35 AM
    danielnoahsmommy

    Stop chat speak. Tell your parents now... how old is this guy? You need prenatal care.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 05:08 AM
    shazamataz

    If you aren't ready to have a baby you shouldn't be having sex.

    Your boyfriend will have to man up and face what is happening.

    Yes he will have to be a part of this babies life in one way or another.
    If he doesn't want to be then when he gets a job, guess what? He pays child support.

    Tell your parents, tell his parents and sort everything out with them.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 05:11 AM
    ScottGem

    I'm not sure what advice you are asking for.

    Do you want advice on what to do about the child? What to do about the father? What to do about your family?

    As noted, this site doesn't allow text speak, so please type in fulol words and sentences so we can understand you better.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 05:16 AM
    Chey5782
    You need to have your mom take you to the doctor. And TALK to them about this. You also need to go to a pregnancy support center that will give you the kind of informed counseling you NEED at your age. You can't hide this forever, and the sooner you get help the better.

    The last thing you need right now is to feel alone and stressed out over this baby. If your boyfriend can't be there then you need to have family around you who will be, period.

    This isn't about you anymore, it's about that baby and any decision you make is going to effect it from now on. I'm sorry you have to go through this, I really am. But you need to talk to your parents and start making some decisions, as a minor your boyfriend can't really do anything without their say.

    Start at square one, getting some support. And go from there.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 10:28 AM
    HelpinHere

    Tell his parents.
    Tell your parents.
    Get some prenatal care.
    Find someone to talk to this about.
    Sign up for WIC or something similar, if applicable.
    Have yourself a baby, learn from your mistakes, and become a better person.
    Go back to school and learn proper English, you're never gong to support that baby without education.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 10:54 AM
    magicgb77
    First and most important, you need to tell your parents. You have to get over the fear of telling them, it won't be as bad as you think. They are your parents, thy love you. You have a life growing inside of you, and you can't hide this from everyone. It is unhealthy for the baby to not get doctor visits, and it is unhealthy for you to in deer the stress of keeping this big secret. I would say for right now ( as hard as it is) don't worry about the babies father. Work on your health and the babies, also work on talking with your parents and getting to a support group. Then your family and support group can help you with the babies father situation.

    My best friend got pregnant at 17, she was terrified to tell her family. Her parents were very strict. She knew that she had to, and so she got over the fear and just did it. Her family did not react as bad as she had imagined. They were very supportive of her and the child. SO that's just a little story of encouragement. Please let your family know.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 11:34 AM
    N0help4u

    How old is your boyfriend?
    Does he know you are pregnant?
    What does he say about the whole thing other than dumping you?
    If anybody pressures you to have an abortion against your will don't do it if you don't want.
    Once the baby is born if you keep it go after him for child support
  • Jul 28, 2009, 11:37 AM
    Justwantfair
    Quite the predicament you are in.

    First, I can't understand some of your post and there is a lot of further information needed to help you through this stressful time. Please help by answering some of the above listed questions.

    Second, you can't change what happened, but now you have to face your consequences and make some choices, with further information we can help you learn about your options. All of your options are going to require you to talk to your parents.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 11:52 AM
    THEpurplepeanut

    This is a very serious situation you are in right now. I would listen to what the people here are trying to tell you and tell your parents! So that if you do decide to get an abortion you would have the choice of a pill, if you wait too long you would have to have a surgical abortion or not have one at all and have the baby. Go to these websites, there is some information about abortions. Abortion Information
    Abortion - Planned Parenthood

    If you do plan to have the baby then you really should try to get child support. It would be easier to give more accurate advice if you posted some answers to the questions people are asking you here.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 03:23 PM
    Mama to be
    Okay I took a test to see if I I was pregnant but it came out - but the thing I have all the systems and my tummy looks like I am so I don't know what do how should I take this :confused:
  • Jul 28, 2009, 03:28 PM
    Justwantfair
    Your tummy wouldn't look like it at two months.

    It varies when people will show, but two months is extremely early.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 03:36 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mama to be View Post
    okay i took a test to see if i i was pregnant but it came out - but the thing i have all the systems and my tummy looks like i am so idk wat do how should i take this :confused:

    So you're not 100% sure that you're pregnant, you're just going by symptoms and weight gain?

    You need to go to your doctor and find out for sure. If you are then you have some important decisions to make and you need to make them now.

    Talk to your parents, go to the doctor, find out for sure then go from there.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 04:01 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mama to be View Post
    okay i took a test to see if i i was pregnant but it came out - but the thing i have all the systems and my tummy looks like i am so idk wat do how should i take this :confused:

    Again, we Do NOT allow chat speak here. Please stop using the text abbreviations.

    Second, yes you need to go to your doctor. You can ask to speak to him privately without your parents present.
  • Jul 28, 2009, 04:04 PM
    Silverfoxkit

    You should check and see if your area (if you are US) has a program called "Nurse Family Partnership"

    :: Nurse Family Partnership ::

    Also

    Quote:

    okay I took a test to see if I I was pregnant but it came out - but the thing I have all the systems and my tummy looks like I am so I don't know what do how should I take this
    As Justwantfair stated 8 weeks is really too early to be showing. You really won't see any significant changes until you start going into your second trimester.

    I would also like to know what you consider "all of the symptoms".
  • Jul 28, 2009, 04:05 PM
    J_9
    Your tummy won't look pregnant at 2 months. At 2 months the fetus is only a few inches long. You can expect to look pregnant at around 4 - 5 months.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:57 AM
    briannekayleen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by magicgb77 View Post
    First and most important, you need to tell your parents. You have to get over the fear of telling them, it won't be as bad as you think. They are your parents, thy love you. You have a life growing inside of you, and you can't hide this from everyone. It is unhealthy for the baby to not get doctor visits, and it is unhealthy for you to in deer the stress of keeping this big secret. I would say for right now ( as hard as it is) don't worry about the babies father. Work on your health and the babies, also work on talking with your parents and getting to a support group. Then your family and support group can help you with the babies father situation.

    My best friend got pregnant at 17, she was terrified to tell her family. Her parents were very strict. She knew that she had to, and so she got over the fear and just did it. Her family did not react as bad as she had imagined. They were very supportive of her and the child. SO that's just a little story of encouragement. Please let your family know.

    I appreciate the kind way you put it. And id like to add, is someone like this needs a lot of support and love.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 11:24 AM
    paigerwaiger94

    Ok, you might hate me for this. But You HAVE to tell your parents. Unless you plan to have an abortion with out them knowing. Which I really hope you don't. And as for the b.f. focus on him later. You have enough to worry about right now, with out him adding to your problems. Try to fix one thing at a time.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 07:25 PM
    tene08

    I am 17 and I recently had a pregnancy scare like what you have with some symptoms. I took a pregnancy test and it said not pregnant. Telling your parents about that is the hardest thing a teenager might have to do especially at 14 so imagine me at 17 and scare like hell to tell my parents. If I was pregnant (I'm still not sure because I don't have my periods as yet) I know I had to tell my parents about it and you know you have to as well but it is not easy. Just take your time when you are relaxed and tell them but don't let that be months. (You can read my post with all the advice people gave about telling your parents)

    I am a little bit confused about how you know that you are 8 weeks pregnant. The only way to tell if you are really pregnant is by going to a doctor so do that as soon as possible. Forget your boyfriend, you are surrounded by family that loves you. Your boyfriend probably didn't love you, he was maybe using you for sex or something otherwise he won't leave you.

    And please write sentences properly so we can help you better.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:57 PM
    Twink24

    1. You should not be having sex in the first place
    2. Tell your parents. Get it over and done with yah it will be a difficult time but once you tell them they will give you help and support once they know what's wrong
    3. If you are not ready to take care of a child (which I am going to assume you are not) you might want to think of your options which inclue, adoption, and abortion.

    Good luck.

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