I met my girlfriend on the internet and we have been together for around 7 months now,
It's a long distance relationship with her being in wales and me in london but we talk regularly everyday on the phone or email and I get to see her every few months.
She is from bengladesh and I am english so obviously we are not of the same race.
She still talks to guys on the internet and she has shown me convos that she has had with them, these guys are really flirty but from what I have seen she does not seem to take an interest, but I worry what she says to these guys behind my back.
I have looked on her web page to check out some of the stuff that she and these guys say to each other but the worse that I have seen comes from way before we met.
I do trust her but to a certain extent as she has lied to me about three major things which I will not go into.
She tells me she loves me and I love her but sometimes I feel that she doesn't and this comes from me feeling very insecure about myself so I was wondering how can I overcome this issue so I can start enjoying my relationship with her?

Threads merged.


I love my girlfriend so much but with her being of a different religion than me I was wondering is it possible to make this work?

Her family have no idea about me except for a few of her friends and her little sister.

I want to spend the rest of 'my life with this girl but no matter what I do I don't think I can be the man her parents want.

They get in between us and they don't even know it so what would it be like if they did know?

I just want some advice on how I can try and make this relationship work so everybody ends up happy.

You need to have an open and honest discussion about this with her now. A lot of people take their faith very personally and almost regard those who don't subscribe to the same beliefs as they do as second-class citizens. Ridiculous, I know. Now I'm not suggesting that all people who are convicted in their faith are of this mindset. But this is something that needs to be addressed from the get-go.

Threads merged.

Is it right to convert to another religion just to be with somebody else?

At the moment I don't class myself to be a follower of any religion but do have beliefs in God and in Jesus.

I have spoken about this with friends and a few have said it is not right to do this but others have said "if u want to be with her then you must want to convert"

I would just like some advice on this type of situation

I would not convert just because I want to be with someone. If converting is a "prerequisite" as far as the other person is concerned, then it's a bad deal. (S)he should be seeking out someone who already adheres to the faith in question if it's that big an issue for him/her, rather than trying to convince a non-believer to "convert." Eventually there'd just be a lot of anger and resentment towards the one who "forced" you to convert as a requirement of being with them.

You have been in a relationship for 7 months and no one knows about it? It also sounds like there are some trust issues here.

But back to the question - my husband (and we were adults when we met/married) was a very different religion from me. It was never a problem, never. We had mutual respect for each other and our beliefs and, more importantly, our value system was the same. I learned about his religion and he learned about mine.

But, as I said, we were adults and didn't have to worry about parents and families and what people would think/do/say.

In fact, when people made a slur not realizing my husband's religion I was quite capable of setting them straight while he was more laid back - another reason our marriage worked.

Hey, well girls will always talk to other guys, its what we do... it's a matter of security for us knowing that we still have people we can talk to and that won't judge us. If your girlfriend means it when she says she loves you, than accept it!. because she will mean it... we just don't say the L word for no reason. If it really is an issue between you 2 then id talk to her about it.. most girls are more than happy to do things for the ones they love, and are rather good at understanding, but don't tell her to stop all togerther as this may not be so good because she'll think that you don't trust her with other guys!. I'm not to sure about the other lies she has told you so that may be a bit different, anyway, id strongly suggest talk to her about it!. good luck

Threads merged.

I am going to re-phrase one of my questions as I feel that I have not been clear enough in asking them due to some answers that I have been receiving, that is nobody's fault except my own and I apologize.

My situation...

My girlfriend is muslim and comes from bangledesh but she lives in wales and I am english and live in london, we met on the internet and have been together for around 7 months now.

I have worked out that I am able to see her every 3 months with the money that I earn but to make up for the time in between we talk constantly on the phone or on email.

My main concern is that the guys she talks to come across as flirty, she has shown me convos she has had with these guys that's how I know, she does not seem to take an interest but with all the convos she has shown me they all can't be one way where the guys are doing all the flirting so I believe that she is doing some flirting as well.

I do not mind if she talks to guys that is fine by me but I'd much rather her talk to the guys who ask her how her day has been than the guys who are trying to get somewhere with her.

I have heard the "BUT SHE IS WITH YOU" phrase more times than I count but this just does not seem to sink in, I am very insecure about my relationship as it is my first proper one.

I love her to bits and I never want to lose her but sometimes I feel she is pushing me away when she does this, I have told her to stop on numerous occasions but she still continues to do so.

I have looked on her web page to see if anything is going on but the worse that I have seen comes from way before we met.

I save all the money I get to go and see her, so far I have spent about £500 on going to see her and this includes topping up my phone so I can speak to her and when I do go down there she is hardly able to go out due to her family, her family do not know about us and this is due to the obvious fact that we of different race and religion, she hopes to tell her parents within a year or so about me. I usually stay for a few days, this has caused us to nearly break up on 2 separate occasions, but yet we have decided to stay together.

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice for me..

Do not fool yourself in thinking this is anything more than a friendship,nothing is going to come of this but your un happiness .find someone that lives near by and who likes to do the same activitys that you do.. you have heard people say [but she is yours ]don't believe this for one minute, if she was yours she would be telling her parents now and she would be at your side, use your money on someone who has your best interest at heart, long distant relationships always fail and race and religion problems never go away two visits in 7 months and you can't even be seen on the streets together ;[ it is time to move on], you diserve much better and you will have if you don't settle for this onesided situation your in now good luck to you

Threads merged.

Me and my girlfriend are currently in a long distance relationship and her ex boyfriend has suddenly declared that he loves her again.
I am worried that I will lose her to him as I am not 100% sure if she still has feelings for him or not.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to keep myself calm?

How old are you, and where did you get your info about her ex, and have you discussed it with her?

Honestly, I wouldn't get carried away with worry, without some better facts. Talk to her. Only you two can resolve your issues.

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Originally Posted by Adam18

Threads merged.

me and my gf are currently in a long distance relationship and her ex bf has suddenly declared that he loves her again.
i am worried that i will lose her to him as i am not 100% sure if she still has feelings for him or not.

does anyone have any advice on what i can do to keep myself calm?

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Please stop posting this as a new question - I know you are anxious but add information to this same, ongoing thread.

Other men send her messages which disturb you and she continues to discuss them with you or show them to you?

I don't think you have issues; I think she does. I can't imagine doing that!

When you visit her for a few days here and there, how do you keep it a secret from her family and friends?

I don't know how old you are - maybe 18? At any rate, I would never be interested in a relationship which had to be a secret, never. Not at 18, not now.

Someone is going to be very badly hurt and I'm afraid it will be you.

I realize this is your first "proper" relationship and that's painful by itself but I see no future here - I really don't.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by becc45

hey, well girls will always talk to other guys, its what we do... its a matter of security for us knowing that we still have people we can talk to and that wont judge us. If ur girlfriend means it when she says she loves you, than accept it!... because she will mean it... we just dont say the L word for no reason. If it really is an issue between you 2 then id talk to her about it.. most girls are more than happy to do things for the ones they love, and are rather good at understanding, but dont tell her to stop all togerther as this may not be so good because she'll think that you dont trust her with other guys!... im not to sure about the other lies she has told you so that may be a bit different, anyway, id strongly suggest talk to her about it!... good luck

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I don't think that girls in a relationship always talk to other guys - "it's what they do." I also don't see how security is involved in that issue.

As far as the "l" word - people say it for all sorts of reasons, some legitimate, some not.

I don't know that this is good advice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Adam18

Threads merged.

me and my gf are currently in a long distance relationship and her ex bf has suddenly declared that he loves her again.
i am worried that i will lose her to him as i am not 100% sure if she still has feelings for him or not.

does anyone have any advice on what i can do to keep myself calm?

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Adam, I requested that your threads be merged. Please read the rules of the site. Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ

I don't know why you found the merging of the threads to be offensive but do not contact me again by PM. If you can't post it on the board, don't say it at all.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Adam18

Threads merged.

me and my gf are currently in a long distance relationship and her ex bf has suddenly declared that he loves her again.
i am worried that i will lose her to him as i am not 100% sure if she still has feelings for him or not.

does anyone have any advice on what i can do to keep myself calm?

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I suspect there are other issues at play here - you seem to have simply gone overboard because your posts were combined which, by the way, I did not do, despite what you think.

If something as small and immaterial as combined posts causes you to lose your temper I suspect this long distance relationship has ended for a specific reason.

Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ

Just to clear up a few things. When you have several posts about the same subject, it confuses the readers. Sometimes all the facts are not present, and that is also very confusing. So for the whole story and all the facts, your threads were merged. If there is a problem PM me.