So, my boyfriend and I have been struggling for over a year. A week ago he told me that he didn't know if he could stop talking to me like crap, and I told him that I can't be with someone so angry, so he said "then dont be with me". We broke up and hadn't spoken. I ended up kissing (no tongue or anything) someone one night, during the time we were broken up (which was only a week). Now we are working it out and are back together and I don't know if I should tell him about it. I love him more than anything.

I wouldn't tell him anything. And frankly, I'd be thinking long and hard about wanting to "work it out" with someone who's verbally and emotionally abusive ; physical abuse may not be far behind. After all, if you saw fit to kiss someone else within a week of breaking up, that should be telling you something right there.

I am more concerned about him, is he still talking to you like "crap"

No, he's not. Its more about him just being really impatient and angry all the time. There's never been real name-calling or physical aggression. But, did I do anything wrong? I feel so guilty about it.

Why do you feel the need to tell him anything? You two were broken up.

And why get back into what you described as a relationship that's been "struggling"?

You love him more than anything? Really? Why? It doesn't sound like love at all. You sound young. Just ask yourself those questions. Love isn't talking to each other like crap and then being interested in someone else when things are bad. Try taking a real break from him and enjoying the company of friends and potential new friends and then see how you feel.

He wasn't sure if he could stop belittling you with his abusive speech?

Oh, he sounds like a real winner.

Why are you going back out with him? You "love him more than anything" but he obviously doesn't feel the same way about you, treating you like that.

He came back to you because you tolerate such a loser.

Break up with him, and that kiss is none of his business.

I was angry and hurt and found comfort in someone else who was treating me nicer. I know it was a mistake, but at the time, it seemed like we were completely over. We broke up and hadn't spoken a word to each other. But now that he wanted to be with me and work it out, I don't know if I should tell him about the time during we were broken up. I feel so terrible about it

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Originally Posted by coutie88

Theres never been real name-calling or physical agression. But, did I do anything wrong? I feel so guilty about it.

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Yet. There's never been name-calling or physical aggression yet.

If you stick around, it will come.

That's the way abusers work. They get huffy and yell and scream. Then they come back as soft, gentle creatures and have you convinced that you did something wrong.

It's cyclical.

Then eventually it escalates to physical.

I wouldn't suggest sticking around waiting on it to get to that point. You'd alread had a break. Leave it broken.

I wouldn't tell him anything HE told you to leave. You were broke up. If you want to work this out telling him will only be something he will hold against you every time he wants to pick a fight with you.
If he were to find out tell him that HE told you to leave and you thought you two were through.
I really think you better proceed with caution with taking him back.

You know that if you told him, he'd be furious and wrongly so. It's your life. You were no longer together. You were free to do as you pleased. BUT you know if he knew it would be another huge blowup. Is this the person you really love more than anything and want in your life?

Well guys, I just told him. Ill let you know how this goes.

Hopefully you told him you're breaking up with him!

Yeah if he doesn't explode I guess they are making SOME progress.