Ok...
Problem number one: My boyfriend, of 5 months, is black. My parents are racist, so were keeping our relationship a secret.
Problem number two: He is two years younger than me.
Problem number three: There's this other guy, that I like. But I don't want to lead him on, because I love my boyfriend.
Problem number four: My boyfriend has a really bad temper. He gets angry if I even talk to guy number two. And the other day, he hit me, right in the face. It wasn't the first time, probably won't be the last either.


I need some real help here. I love him. And I don't want to leave him, but Im scared of what might happen.

Please, give me some advice.

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My boyfriend has a really bad temper. He gets angry if I even talk to guy number two. And the other day, he hit me, right in the face. It wasn't the first time, probably won't be the last either.

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RUN, do not walk, away from this creep, I don't give a damn what color he is! If "racism" is your parents' excuse for protecting you from trash like this, so be it. Not that his skin color has anything to do with it (or does it? Only you can answer that question.) But have enough dignity and respect for yourself not to stand for this treatment from ANYONE ; black, white, green or purple!

HE HIT YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE AND YOU'RE ASKING IF YOU SHOULD STAY WITH HIM OR NOT?

I have a little secret for you. Well, actually two.

1.) He doesn't love you. You're a punching bag to him.

2.) He's a coward and a worm for hitting women.

Break up with him NOW before I have to come where you are and break up the relationship for you!

He hit you. Leave.

I think his race should be the least of your concerns right now. Tell me, do you think your parents would like it if he hit you in the face if he's the same race as you? Doubtful.

Get out of this situation. Given your username, you're what- 16? You're too young to bogged down with something like this.

You don't want to leave him but you have to. For your safety.

In fact, you need to talk to your parents about this so they can protect you from this creep. It doesn't matter that he's black- he put his hands on you and that is NOT love.

Are you kidding me! He has a habit of hitting you and you don't want to leave him? Honey please, if you care about yourself you will leave this guy. Staying with him only makes him think that it's okay to hit you or any other girl whenever he wants. Do you really want him to think it's okay to hit you? Do you want to put up with his abuse? You may love him but he doesn't love you. Right now, you need to put yourself first and see that this a horrible relationship that you should get out of ASAP.

Keep us updated.

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Originally Posted by paigerwaiger94

Ok...
Problem number one: My boyfriend, of 5 months, is black. My parents are racist, so were keeping our relationship a secret.
Problem number two: He is two years younger than me.
Problem number three: Theres this other guy, that I like. But I dont want to lead him on, because I love my boyfriend.
Problem number four: My boyfriend has a really bad temper. He gets angry if I even talk to guy number two. And the other day, he hit me, right in the face. It wasnt the first time, probably wont be the last either.


I need some real help here. I love him. And I dont want to leave him, but Im scared of what might happen.

Please, give me some advice.

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Problem #1 that can be resolved one way or another.
Problem #2 no problem
Problem #3 Not good to be two timing or lining your plan B options up before you are out of the first relationship
Problem #4 HE HIT YOU. NO OPTION LEFT get out of the relationship asap.
How old are you? You need people to support you to help keep him away and you safe.
You are right it will not be the last. Before you know it he will be hitting you for talking to one of your girl friends or for putting some mascara on. He will be accusing you of wearing makeup to attract other guys. THAT slap was only the tip of the ice berg. Get out while you are ahead. If and when it gets worse *very next incident* get a PFA out on him.

Paige, read the poem you wrote. This is where your relationship is leading.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/writin...ay-359956.html

You need to get out of this situation.

You are following in your mothers footsteps.

You are too young to start these patterns already.

1st. No little boy deserves to be loved by you if he is going to hit you.
2nd. You need to tell either your parent or another authority figure he hit you.
3rd. You shouldn't be dating if you are interested in more than one guy a time. That's a clear sign you aren't ready to settle down yet. And there is nothing wrong with telling a guy you don't want a serious boyfriend. Period.

I'm not saying you are immature, you clearly have enough maturity to recognize that the situation you are in isn't right. That's a good first step. So stop being reluctant to get out of the situation you are in.

Dump the idiot boyfriend. And take some time to figure out what you want for you, with or without a boy around. If you don't feel like you can now, what's going to happen later on?

Talk to a parent, and don't let anybody tell you what's going on is okay or your fault.

What I want to know is WHY you don't want to leave him in the first place. What makes that okay darlin? Nothing.

If you are only 16, he must be around 14 years old? You mention he is two years younger than you.

He is very aware that he is a secret to your parents. That cuts off any support and guidance from 'outside' the relationship, which makes you more vunerable to his violence.

Love is never about violence against another person. This is about control. He is using violence to control you.

I urge you to come clean to your parents when you decide to leave him. You have no idea how he may try to retaliate against you.

The sooner you realize that you are not going to change him into a loving person, the sooner you'll realize you are in a dangerous situation, and you need to get out.

Problem 1- you're lying to your parents.
Problem 2 - he's immature.
Problem 3 - you're attracted to another guy
Problem 4 - he hits you.

There are way too many problems here and the biggest is that he's dangerous and violent. You don't want to be in this do you? Why would you let a guy hit you?

Tell your parents about what is happening now. Tell them that you've been an idiot, but that now you're scared and you want to finish the relationship.

Tell your boyfriend you don't want to see him again - ever.

Don't let yourself be physically abused again - ever.

I think its sad that you have to even ask the question. Your parents shouldn't be so worried about the color of his skin, they should be focusing on teaching you self-esteem and how you deserve to be treated.

LEAVE... it won't get better. I don't have any great words to share. Except LEAVE!

I'm going to break up with him today.
Thank you guys... for listening... and thank you for your advise.

I think you made a wise choice

Good luck and keep your head up