I met a guy on one of the dating sites. For a month or so, we spoke on the phone once a day for about 30mins to an hour, and 5 hours on Saturday and another 5 on sundays. He is in Canada and I'm in Africa. We both originate from the same country. After about two months, I found out he was cheating on me with another girl on the same site. I confronted him and he somehow accused me of setting him up. As crazy as it might sound, I had fallen for this guy full time. The commitment he had shown by the communication had really got to my head. Although he admitted to the cheating, I ended up being the one to apologise. The relationship carried on but the daily phone calls stopped, the weekend calls ended. Now we chat on Yahoo when ever I find him online. When he writes me an email, he tells me how much he loves me and how much he looks forward to getting his citizenship so he can come to Africa and we get married. By the way, this guy also sends me "pocket money" once every two months or so.. about $200 to $250. I have a place in my heart for this guy, but I'm confused. I see him online a lot but sometimes when I write him a chat message he doesn't respond claiming that he sometimes leaves his laptop on. The 8 hour time difference doesn't make life easy for us either.. but initially he made the timetable and it worked, but now time is not tallying. I know I might be sounding confused but I hope someone can pick up what I'm trying to say, make sense of it, and tell me if I really have a man here. I still write him love notes twice or more per week. I feel I love him... maybe I'm in love with the thought of having someone in my life. Please help.

How can you love someone, if this is the way I interpreted it, you have never met face to face, just through communication. Sounds like he is a player, and your falling for it. I think for your sanity find someone who is close by and then date them. To me this isn't a relationship... good luck

Mutu,
You are very confused.
1) Online Cyber fling is NOT relationship. It is illusion. People present themselves in the best way possible online, because it is easy to manipulate. The person you developed 'feeling' for is not existing in this world, but only in your imagination. The person who randomly talking to many girls in the world is totally different person from what you think he is.
2) So, you are not even in a relationship. Why do you want to wait, and what are you waiting for?
3) It is critical. You need to give yourself an honest answer. What made you think that it is OK to accept money from the 'unknown man'? You should have self esteem. Are you trying to make money by providing chatting service to the man online? A decent lady does not take money from men what so ever. What are you thinking? Who initiated the money talk by the way? If you received the money, it means you gave him the back account information to let him wire the money. What is the reason to get the money again?? Do you think you are smart because you made money from him?? Are you selling yourself online? What is your next step? Shame on you.

Here is fix:
1) Get a job, work hard, make money for your need.
2) Stop talking to unknown men online and develop cyber feeling. You will be lost in your illusion. It is waste of time.

What is your goal, young lady? Are planing to fish a rich guy online? Do you think someone will be madly in love with you online, and send money & marry you? Did you loose your mind? Have you ever try to find a decent man in your local area? I am speechless.

You are not having a relationship, stop wasting your own time. Read through what you wrote and pretend it was a stranger and tell them what you think then. If you do decide to waste you time with this 'man' then he will cheat on you over and over sorry he is no good

Until you meet this guy in person, it's not a real relationship. It's only an online/phone chat buddy.

If he really does come to your country to meet you, then you can get to know him and see where that goes.

So until you meet in person, you have to realize that this is an online relationship and a real life relationship with this person is still a fantasy.

A lot of people have married through dating sites on the net. I have good intentions believe me. Yes accepting money was probably wrong.. but who doesn't like money. Im not selling myself else I wouldn't be stuck with the guy. I just felt for him to do that it meant he liked me enough to want to settle down with me. AND WE DO NOT HAVE NET SEX. We talk real life issues... which is why I fell for him. I am confused yes... if I wasn't I wouldn't be asking the question. I need help and advice not criticism. We all make mistakes in life and this desk is to help each other pick up the pieces and go the right direction. Don't BRING ME DOWN.

It is not easy to get a partner from the road or the church or wherever. If people could just find each other all over, they would be no dating sites. Its easy to say easy when you have a partner... pray to God that your partner stays with you till you DIE first. Never judge other people because you not in the same boat. Im disappointed at Winding 200's comments. I really and truly am.

Mutu, I think the other guys have given you good advice. You have to meet this guy first before you can call this a relationship.

Wait until you meet him in person before you decide to take the next step. Until then, just keep in touch as friends from another country. Just enjoy your conversations with him without being attached or committed to one another. We're just helping you to be careful. You never know what to expect on the Internet.