At this point in my life, I'm trying to find some type of spiritual growth, and although I feel like I know a lot about the bible, at times I feel resentment for some of my past.

For example, without elaborating, I haven't had the greatest childhood - grew up in what is considered to be a dysfunctional home. Second, I married, and although I really felt that I finally found peace and love, it turns out that my ex cheated on me and left our marriage of ten years suddenly - within a span of two weeks after I found out he was cheating.

I have never led anything but a conservative lifestyle - in fact, grew up very religious - never had sex outside of marriage before marriage and never cheated on my hubby, etc etc. I've always been kind, mild-mannered, never been involved in any problems, never got arrested, never tried drugs, not even a speeding ticket.

In essence, I've always felt as if I had done everything right.

But for some reason, I feel resented towards those people who find it so easy to be spiritual because they don't struggle with that underconfidence stemming from an abusive childhood, and other problems. It's like, these people have had their great old time doing what was "wrong", and now they're back to being spiritual. I understand the bible speaks about a "prodigal child" but why don't I feel like this is fair?

Also, how can I get rid of the resentment and the underconfidence and doubt I have as a result of my twisted past? If I did everything "right" before, what makes me think that doing it "right" today will lead to anything good?

I also get annoyed when people talk about other people's sins, like them being gay for instance, when I know that these people have a hard time accepting God as their desires to be with the same sex are very real. I also don't think it's for someone who is not struggling with that sin to counsel. I know I'm going on a tangeant here, but these are some of the things that make me feel that some have it "too easy" and others have it a lot harder.

The people who are first in this world will be last. The people last in this world will be the first.

I personally know that I have been brought up in difficult circumstances through out. Will not get into the details, but it does feel like many people have it a lot easier.

The thing is you got to remember, that we need to focus on God, and do what is right and focus on our spiritual growth here, so when we move on. We will be welcomed into Gods kingdom.

Hope you know what I am saying. It might get real difficult, but in the long run who do you think is going to have the better outcome?

What is it that your doing in your life now?

You lived a decent life. Many people have had a rough past. It's not a matter of "getting over it"- it's a matter of "dealing with it" in a proper way. If you still carry those burdens of the past you will never be happy. You have to learn to "let go". Whether it's by writing it down and burning the paper, going to counseling, focusing on your passion [painting, writing, fixing up cars... ], or even re-inventing yourself [become a stronger you, get healthier, learn about yourself, get smarter, clean your outer and inner self... ].

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say; Why do you think you need God to make you happy? You've been religious for many years and your not so happy now...

Just a thought..

Sarah

God forgives you if you ask him to.
I think it is an individual thing and you can't gauge what others do.
You, I and everybody has to find their way with their life circumstances.
I never did drugs or a lot of those things either but I still know I messed up and I know God released me from a lot of my hurts and myself condemnation and a lot of other things so I can understand where they are coming from.
Personally I believe the Bible is about spiritual things and not religious. Religion is more man made traditions trying to put God in a box.
Reading and studying the Bible it talks about setting your spirit free.

I can agree with you on some of your last paragraph. Too many people want to counsel others from a judgmental stance. But not everybody has to live something to be able to give advice on it. As long as the person counseling sees things objectively and gives good advice then I wouldn't rule them out.

Also many people who look like they have it too easy really don't some of them just know how to cope and deal with their problems.

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

What is it that your doing in your life now?

You lived a decent life. Many people have had a rough past- heck I did.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say; Why do you think you need God to make you happy? You've been religious for many years and your not so happy now...

Just a thought..

Sarah

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Well, I really don't feel like I fit in with those people who have no sort of consideration or morals towards other people.

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Originally Posted by dincher

Well, I really don't feel like I fit in with those people who have no sort of consideration or morals towards other people.

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There are plenty of people whom are not religious who have morals and have plenty of consideration for others. Sadly, there are some tainted religious folk that are even more negative than a non-religious person.

It really balances itself out.

A good person is no better than a devoted christian nor is a devoted christian better than a good person.

Sarah

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

There are plenty of people whom are not religious who have morals and have plenty of consideration for others. Sadly, there are some tainted religious folk that are even more negative than a non-religious person.

It really balances itself out- a good person is no better than a devoted christian nor is a devoted christian better than a good person.

Sarah

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Yes, you're right about that. I have to give it to you.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

The people who are first in this world will be last. The people last in this world will be the first.

I personally know that I have been brought up in difficult circumstances through out. Will not get into the details, but it does feel like many people have it a lot easier.

The thing is you got to remember, that we need to focus on God, and do what is right and focus on our spiritual growth here, so when we move on. We will be welcomed into Gods kingdom.

Hope you know what I am saying. It might get real difficult, but in the long run who do you think is going to have the better outcome?

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Yes, I understand the latter part of your post. I am a little bit unclear what the first sentence, "first/last" means? Thanks for your quick reply, it is appreciated.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

God forgives you if you ask him to.
I think it is an individual thing and you can't guage what others do.
You, I and everybody has to find their way with their life circumstances.
I never did drugs or a lot of those things either but I still know I messed up and I know God released me from a lot of my hurts and my self condemnation and a lot of other things so I can understand where they are coming from.
Personally I believe the Bible is about spiritual things and not religious. Religion is more man made traditions trying to put God in a box.
Reading and studying the Bible it talks about setting your spirit free.

I can agree with you on some of your last paragraph. Too many people want to counsel others from a judgmental stance. But not everybody has to live something to be able to give advice on it. As long as the person counseling sees things objectively and gives good advice then I wouldn't rule them out.

Also many people who look like they have it too easy really don't some of them just know how to cope and deal with their problems.

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It is true that I shouldn't gauge what others do. But then how do I get rid of the resentment? I guess you answered by praying for it.

Yes praying and doing some topic Bible studies also ask God to guide your day and your heart.

The people that are first in this world. Where do you think they will be?

People who are last, they will be the first to be excepted into the kingdom of God.

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

There are plenty of people whom are not religious who have morals and have plenty of consideration for others. Sadly, there are some tainted religious folk that are even more negative than a non-religious person.

It really balances itself out.

A good person is no better than a devoted christian nor is a devoted christian better than a good person.

Sarah

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Excellent!

I wish more people would realize that. I've met people that devote their life to positivity and the prosperity of all and met countless people who claim even such people deserve, and will, go to "hell" for not following the laws of their religious denomination, or simply because they weren't of the denomination itself. I also personally believe that no omnipotent god would be so demanding on worship and recognition of it's omnipotence to send a person to hell over noncompliance rather than focus more entirely on prospering well being and positivity through the will of man.

And as usual when I make a comment like this. People reply: "Don't even try to understand the will and intention of god. You are a mere man!"

To think that such a god would create conscious life without the capability of living purely without sin, just as jesus...

Also, I'd recommend you read Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.

You could also try reading the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus, although I can't confirm it's legitimacy, it's words seem to ring with undeniable truth.

When you think about it there is only the present. The past and future are only in our mind. I like to do things that help keep me in the present...

Resentment of your twisted childhood is causing problems. So, change the way you think about it. My childhood was horrible, for a long time I really, really wanted to "get even" with some of the "guilty" people.

But then I looked at my anger with honesty. Being hurt and angry distracted me from seeing the good. All the crap that happened to me has made me who I am today. It made me incredibly strong and empathetic. The "guilty" who hurt me were just human beings, trying to keep their balance.

That is what you are doing right now. You are keeping your balance. You are a good and worthy person. Quit beating yourself up. Meditate or pray staying in the only moment there is, this one!

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Originally Posted by simoneaugie

Resentment of your twisted childhood is causing problems. So, change the way you think about it. My childhood was horrible, for a long time I really, really wanted to "get even" with some of the "guilty" people.

But then I looked at my anger with honesty. Being hurt and angry distracted me from seeing the good. All the crap that happened to me has made me who I am today. It made me incredibly strong and empathetic. The "guilty" who hurt me were just human beings, trying to keep their balance.

That is what you are doing right now. You are keeping your balance. You are a good and worthy person. Quit beating yourself up. Meditate or pray staying in the only moment there is, this one!

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Wow, I was trying to think of a way to express your answer but just gave up. People don't realize how potential perspective is. It can really turn the tables.