18 Year Old Step Son Driving Me Crazy. Why?
OK. I have an 18 yr.old step son. He is a senior, has only 2 classes this semester, is getting an 81% and a 89% in them.
My problem is, he is unemployed and has NO ambition what-so-ever. My husband, his dad, works nights so he is not around to see all of this and does not inquire about anything. It is like he just doesn't care. This drives me crazy. I feel an 18 yr old should be working!! Learning how to get ready for the big world out there...
I'm lost. My husband complains about having to give him money all the time for gas, food, etc... but does it anyway. My husband tells him that since he is not working that the car goes to and from school only, for gas purposes. Well the stepson disregards any rules he is given AND does not suffer any consequences. It's like he does what ever he wants and gets by with it. There is a rule about being on the phone for not more that 20 minutes at a time, he disregards that. There is a rule about being on the internet for no more than 30 minutes (because he's not doing homework) and he disregards that also.
I know I should just "wash my hands" of this problem and let whatever be, be. If my husband wants to just let him be like this, then what ever. But is eats on my last nerve. I come home from working all day and he is just sitting there, I have to tell him to shower, go feed the dog, so on and so forth.
It also makes it tough when my 9 yr old is getting disciplined by me and the 18 yr old justs does whatever.
I don't know how to just ignore this.
Also, another thing what are your opinions on his mother calling every single night? I have a rule about no calls after 9:00 and she proceeds to call at 9:30 all the time. I try to talk to my husband about this and he says "You know how she is--you can't fight with her". I have tried unplugging the phone and my husband gets mad and says "I pay for that bill and I want it left plugged in"
I am so frusterated. Sometimes I think "am I overreacting?" Have I lost sight of things through my anger? What?
I cannot take this sort of laziness, and the lack of ambition... HELP!