:confused: I don't know where to start now. I'm age 54, I have a My space profile with lots of pictures of me and my family, I am divorced now for 24 years. I got several messages in my Inbox from women wanting to find there should mate on here and say what they are looking for in a relationship for marriage. They ask me in the letter to look them up on Yahoo Messenger and gave me their ID and Email address. After looking them up and chatting a while I find some of them are only wanting help financially for one reason or other.
Recently over the past week I have been chatting with a woman of great beauty and wealth, she inherited it her husband died 4 years ago her mom and dad are gone, and she is now in africa settling some affairs and filing papers she says this is what is going on with her, claims to have property in NY and TX, but is currently in africa taking care of some final affairs, using words like Immgate certification , and sending off company papers. I did not understand what she meant and she did not explain when I asked more qestions. I want to know her middle name and her other info without sounding like I don't trust or believe her, wondering if she is after something or if she is real or not. She has no need of my money but showers me with hugs kisses and the like using those emoticons smily faces. And other effects on Yahoo messenger. I tried the people look up on the web to see if she is for real but I can't afford to pay the price for INTELIUS to look up a person. I tried searching by city and state but left with dozens of places with same name in Texas. I have 5 pictures that I got from her MY space before she closed that account out. She said she did not need it since she found me now. She talks of marriage and love for me, and how I make her want me more every time we chat, I don't do cyber sex thing whatever they call it. And we have mutual respect for each other, yet I have not met her in person, I am aloof as to what can I do, how can I know if those whom I am chating with are real, she seems too good to be true. And I know that I was told years ago that if something seems to good to be true it probably is.
I hate wasting my time talking to people that are phonies.
She says she is going to build us a house, she has a little daughter age 4, but there is no real proof of her identity, I am not able to find it without paying high prices.
I really need advice on what I should do, at my age it is easy to be taken advantage of. I am disabled and can't work and I'm also poor it sucks but I have done my best to live and enjoy every day of it. I'ts time for me to find someone who can fill the void in my life.:confused:

Hmm.. sounds fishy to me! Nevertheless the only way you'll find out is by meeting her.

I definitely wouldn't rush into marriage NOR lending her money until you meet personally a few times. If anything let her finish up with her paperwork in Africa.

NEVER give her any of your account information or give her any type of money; i.e. money orders, bank transfer-- etc. Above all do not marry her- you only know her by internet! A grown adult would at least meet the person they are in love with and spend time with them OTHER than the internet to come to the idea of marriage.

In my opinion I think this is bull honky she probably wants a green card-- so be weary.

Proceed with caution, and good luck.

Sarah

I had a similar guy from Nigeria that would say I love you and I want to move where you are... Didn't know a thing about the guy other than he said he moved from Tennesee or somewhere down South to Nigeria and wanted to come back. Next think I knew after a month or so he starts telling me his money is tied up and he is going to send me a check from 'his client' for me to cash and mail back to him so he can move up where I am. I basically just ignored him and let him ramble on. I kept telling him all I have is the air I breath and don't even have a bank acct or credit card.

DO you know anything about her personality wise or anything?
Does she tell you about herself or does she just pick up on what you like and THEN have similar interests?
She may very well be hoping you fall head over heels for her and then ask you for money.

Tell her you only make $10, a year and most your money goes to rent and utilities and see how interested she is then.

I think you've answered your own questions here. Do you hear the alarms going off? I do, loud and clear! This has "SCAM" written all over it, with a capital "SCAM".

Thanks sarah, I know what I'm doing and I will never give my account information to a person on the net, nor reveal my private information either, I give my name and age that is it, so I am waiting for her to say something that will trigger my suspicion, I hate to pretend with her like I really love her, but looking at her picture is hard to not love her. As I'm attracted so easily by a pretty face. I'm a sucker for women. But I've learned to be careful and I never give money on line to anyone even if they are a friend I know. Thanks .

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Originally Posted by GUITARMANJHC

Thanks sarah, I know what I'm doing and I will never give my account information to a person on the net, nor reveal my private information either, I give my name and age that is it, so I am waiting for her to say something that will trigger my suspicion, I hate to pretend with her like I really love her, but looking at her picture is hard to not love her. as I'm attracted so easily by a pretty face. I'm a sucker for women. but I've learned to be careful and I never give money on line to anyone even if they are a friend I know. thanks .

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Sounds more like lust to me GUITARMAN.

I don't want to sound like a total B-- but your how old, and your think you can love someone by a picture and the internet. It's really silly. I'm half your age and a few years less and I know that this is wacky.

Open your eyes GUITARMAN.

I'm glad that all you do is just give out your name and age [sometimes even your last name is a little too much info]-- that's all you need on the internet, because there are people out there that would love to take advantage of people. Not only is identity theft is a possibility but there are a million other cons.


Just my two cents...

Sarah

The picture could be a phony, she may be hoping you fall for the eye candy. Keep that in the back of your mind.
Just remember always to stay one step ahead of her.

How can I trust anyone on the net if scam is the biggest issue. I have talked to a lot of people and none can answer correctly what I need, who can tell me about those who chat how do I find out who they really are if they are phoney or real. It's my job to find out. I am on a crusade to expose the frauds.

Yeah I know it's silly I'm 54 OK, and lust has no revelance in the matter, my interest is finding out who she really is so I can expose the frauds. I'm not really in love at all, I am just playing along to see if she is sincere, I don't want to hurt anyone but in this game of internet dating how can an person ever be sure. Taking it one day at a time. I've been around the block several times I know about scams. Try working for law enforcemnt for a whie you learn a few things.

NOhelp4u, that's possible her picture could be a mask to attract men. But why did she close her MY space account after meeting me. It's odd, seems like people are doing this a lot open a new account find a sap and close the account and lead the sap along on a chain of chats until they got them hooked then take them for a ride and blow them down the road to financial ruin. I know all about the game.

A phony won't want to talk to you if they think you are in the same income bracket as they hope for.
Yes she could have additional myspace accts that she is not telling you about.
Unfortunately even if you expose her to yourself as a fraud the system does little about it because they don't want to be bothered especially if you can't prove she ripped you off majorly. Not worth being ripped off majorly.

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

I think you've answered your own questions here. Do you hear the alarms going off? I do, loud and clear! This has "SCAM" written all over it, with a capital "SCAM".

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Yeah you say scam huh, you may be right here, but then you could be wrong. Thanks I'll take that under advisement.

Yeah all we can really tell you is if you want to keep in touch and maybe meet her ---proceed with caution.

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Originally Posted by GUITARMANJHC

how can I trust anyone on the net if scam is the biggest issue. I have talked to a lot of people and none can answer correctly what I need, who can tell me about those who chat how do I find out who they really are if they are phoney or real. it's my job to find out. I am on a crusade to expose the frauds.

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Any "socializing" you do on the net has to be taken with a grain of salt. Anyone can lie and make up anything they want with you being none the wiser. The police even use this tactic sometimes to catch predators. A 40-year-old detective will create an account posing as a 16-year-old-girl, upload a "juicy" picture of "themselves" and say "this is me" and "talk" as a typical 16-year-old would, using "textspeak" and everything. They then arrange a "meeting" and, when the guy shows up, surprise, he's arrested! The point is, anyone can be anything they want to on line. And you have no way of knowing the truth until and unless you actually meet them face-to-face. But by then it could be too late if you've let your guard down. Online socializing can be good in that the anonymity and remoteness give you a measure of protection. But it can also be abused by con artists for those very same reasons. It's kind of ironic that the very things that make online dating safe are also what make it dangerous.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

The picture could be a phony, she may be hoping you fall for the eye candy. Keep that in the back of your mind.
Just remember always to stay one step ahead of her.

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How shall I keep one step ahead of her, what sort of questoins can I get her to answer without sounding supicious of her. It's a trick to get people to open up and make them slip in a bit of information that could lead to there exposure. I need to learn how to ask the right questions. Thanks for your input.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

Any "socializing" you do on the net has to be taken with a grain of salt. Anyone can lie and make up anything they want with you being none the wiser. The police even use this tactic sometimes to catch predators. A 40-year-old detective will create an account posing as a 16-year-old-girl, upload a "juicy" picture of "themselves" and say "this is me" and "talk" as a typical 16-year-old would, using "textspeak" and everything. They then arrange a "meeting" and, when the guy shows up, surprise, he's arrested! The point is, anyone can be anything they want to on line. And you have no way of knowing the truth until and unless you actually meet them face-to-face. But by then it could be too late if you've let your guard down. Online socializing can be good in that the anonymity and remoteness give you a measure of protection. But it can also be abused by con artists for those very same reasons. It's kind of ironic that the very things that make online dating safe are also what make it dangerous.

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I agree with you on that, it's a game on the net many play, can't really trust anyone until you get to really know them face to face, so until there are better methods of getting to know wpeople I guess I'll stick with the meet n greet method live in person.

Just a thought...

I think that your getting a little too involved in this. Continue your online friendship- there's nothing wrong with that.

I like N0Help's idea... I would mention in a conversation about your "low income" life, maybe add a little debt to the story-- if you find that she no longer talks to you then you have your answer.

Keep your eyes peeled for other red flags too.

Sarah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

A phony won't want to talk to you if they think you are in the same income bracket as they hope for.
Yes she could have additional myspace accts that she is not telling you about.
Unfortunately even if you expose her to yourself as a fraud the system does little about it because they don't want to be bothered especially if you can't prove she ripped you off majorly. Not worth being ripped off majorly.

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You got me thinking now. I did not even realize she could have multiple accounts using different pictures and profiles. Her profile is so open, middle initial, address, interests about me all full of stuff. Hard not to believe it. But I will keep my head and not go with the heart feelings that is. Wise words.

Maybe ask her more about her family like is her mother and father still alive. How often does she get to see them.

Then maybe a couple months later ask her where do her parents live.

I am wondering what type of 'affairs' she could have to finish up in Africa? Is it work related? What kind of work does she do?

It isn't everyday an average American has to go to Africa to take care of final 'affairs'

Only my gut feeling here, but, you are being suckered, like so many have been before you.

Chances are she is looking to come to the USA, and you are the ticket. I don't buy she is a citizen in the US already.

If I were looking to scam somebody, I'd do exactly what she did. Look for someone who cannot afford to check me out, but someone lonely and naïve about the pitfalls of online dating scams, which really only mask the real purpose, which is immigration, or email or bank fraud.

If she has all that money, why can't she fly over for a weekend for you to check her out. Did she say when she was coming to the states?

Tell her straight up that you are concerned about who she really is, and what she is really up to. What motivates her to 'fall in love' with a man half way around the world. Tell her straight up that you have doubts about her being truthful and honest with all that she has said about her wealth.

Whatever you do, don't encourage her to gain information about you. Don't give her any information other than superficial stuff. If she asks you to get involved with her finances, i.e. opening an account in the states, or cashing cheques etc. don't do it!!

Just my opinion, but she presents herself as having a limitless supply of money, so she doesn't need yours. That is supposed to set your mind at ease that she's not after you for money. The truth is, in my opinion, she wishes to use you either for an email scam, immigration purposes, or some other reason, other than for you.

Until you know otherwise, with proof, I would presume everything she has told you is not true.

Be extremely careful.