This text information was obtained on the husbands cell phone which I guess he is extremely possessive over. Wife was looking at the new phone and found it... apparently she was in the bathroom and he was pounding on the door demanding for his phone.

This is the text talk:

"Pusa!" - Sister (European background but it mean's nothing in that language could it me a more derogative term for a female organ?"

"Dreaming of you sexy (blush happy face)" - Husband

"When can I see you next sexy?" - Husband

"Right now would be the best..." - Sister

"Miss my touch?" - Husband

"ARE YOU OFFERING ME A SENSUAL OASIS SPA?" - Sister

"What are our past experiences? (Happy face with a wink) - Husband

NO RESPONSE

After he took the phone from the bathroom he erased it all. Then was being nice... note that the sister was always giving gifts to the sister of the husbands wife and the wife was confiding in her about their relationship dilemma's. Also note that the husband comes home Wednesday nights (his only night out I guess) anywhere from to a.m. on. I guess one night he didn't come home at all and said he was sleeping in his vehicle... he returned the phone call at 4:30 a.m. saying this... even though the wife called twice after to a.m. He also becomes very upset when having to explain himself and his Dad (whom which he is with playing darts admits that they go home at 10:30 - 11:00 p.m.) say's he doesn't know because husband says he is going home but never ends up being there when he should.

Sister that is involved in these texts has lived and had a sexual relationship with her first cousin; has many problems with her current common-law boyfriend. Husband came in for moral support and their marriage is pretty rocky with kids and finances. Sister is always about meeting a guy that will provide and care for her. She also has a really close relationship with her sister. It's really bugging me and I would hate to see this happen to anyone.

Please give your advice.

I'm confused---who is this happening to?

If I didn't know you better, Aprilwine, I'd think you were a troll pulling our legs---but I DO know you better, and I'm wondering what's up with this?

Actually this is really bugging me... I can't sleep... help!

He may well be cheating on her with her sister.

You can't fix it though. You can be a more clear-minded friend if you're rested. It can affect you if you let it, but it ain't your stuff. Go to sleep! :)

Oh it's HER sister.

I totally read that thinking it was HIS sister, and we were looking at incest here.

Look, if it were me, I'd confront them both, tell them about the texts I saw, and let them know that they're BOTH on warning---and that if either of them denied what I saw, or refused to work on regaining my trust, that I'd be MORE than happy to cut one or both of them from my life, and take the kids with me.

I'd be calm and collected about it---but I wouldn't be accepting of excuses, either. Just straight up "This is what I saw, I don't think it can be interpreted any other way, and I'm upset that the two of you would do this to me. I'd prefer if your texts/emails/calls/whatever to each other stopped, and that the two of you are not alone together"

Fur will fly, but if it's handled that way, then at least it's not the wife that looks bad.

OOOR, he has someone else's number saved in his phone under someone's sister's name so if that name appears in the calls list it doesn't look suspicious. Just an idea.

Sounds like they both are up to no good and have been doing something behind your back.

Who's sister the naughty talk was with, his sister or her sister, or was it a sister-in-law. It wasn't clear to me when I read this.

If it was HIS sister... Ewwwwwwwww.

If it was her sister, shame, shame shame... you don't poop in your own back yard. Did they actually believe they could get away with something so close to home for long?

The whole set up seems suspicious to me, I would wait and watch and not worry too much

Oh Dear! I hate to concur with the rest of the people here, but hunny, he has been with her, in some way. I am guessing they have been having an affair for some time!
You could confront them, yes, but I believe they would deny it to the very bitter end, and you will likely never know the truth.
This is a Sad situation. I hope the best for you.

Alarm bells are ringing. They are having an affair-definitely sexual.

Time to dump BOTH if they are related to you or not.

Always Keeping your phone close and denying others access to it is very suspicious, but to actually bang on a locked door to get it back, and then erasing it all. It's extremely obvious here that, affair or not, he is hiding something serious.

Try to be a little more clear. Who is the 'sister", who is the 'husband' and who is the 'wife'? Are you the 'wife' in question and is your husband the 'husband' in question? And is your sister the 'sister' in question? Frankly your question is so garbled I can't make heads or tails out of it,much less try to give you a viable response.

I only have one question before I can really think it through. You said it was a 'new phone'

Is it new as in BRAND NEW From the store? Or new to him? Was it owned by someone else? Could it have been messages from the previous owner?

He said he could see her ''Right now''
Does she know where he was Right AFTER the call?
If he is 'disappearing' and having these type calls on his phone then If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, then I'd say it is a rat.

UPDATE FROM XOXAPRIL WINE!!!

I called my sister and just wanted to talk... I said nothing about it and remained pleasant like nothing was wrong. She gave me no indication that my husband was sending her inappropriate text messages and for him to stop. She also gave me this story about getting opinions from 3 different people; 1. The Abuser; 2. The Snob - who gets everything and appreciates nothing and 3. The Whatever Person. That I should not accept advice from anyone because everyone will come from different backgrounds and everyone will give you their different opinions. Only you can decide what is best for you and your two kids. (Like I should leave because we had a few arguments and some went physical.) But then who is the whatever person? And what is the purpose of this story? So I told her Karma will give everyone exactly what they deserve but I know I didn't deserve some of the things that are happening in my life.

Here is the text message received at 2:00 a.m. (I didn't go to bed till for a.m. and woke up at 6 a.m. because I couldn't sleep.)

"____, ERASE ALL YOUR TEXT MESSAGES RIGHT NOW" - Sister

Ok, It is me, my husband and my sister. The phone is brand new. He saved her number under abbreviation for her name... Ma - I thought it was my husband's mother so never gave it any serious thought before. To clear it up my sister has a REALLY bad wrap sheet of history when it comes to men. She would date one and cheat. Most of the times the men are older... she is provocative (not slutty in looks - act's classy on first impressions - she is talented and smart - 40 years old and I am 27). She was also involved with her first cousin sexually (they lived like a married couple) - she is known to go after married men but I honestly thought that she would never do this.

As it goes for my husbands wrap sheet - it's not good either - he has been with someone else and given me HPV (which I have been clear of for 3 years but it took 2 years of LEEP and biopsy after biopsy. I am traumatized every time I have to go in for a pap now. He has had issues with porn, we have had issues in our marriage, he lies and hides. I know he has been loyal since our marriage and things have been EXCELLENT in every sense of the word (except for of course kids, obligations, responsibilities and financial struggle). All these things can lead to this.

Now... I called her in the morning and told her I got all the texts and that I needed a clear explanation because it does not make either of them look good and that it was completely inappropriate. I want answers and I want them now. I helped you out morally and I was ready to open my door to you when you had no where to go. I confide in you about everything. What is going on?

She said that It was just a joke and she thought he was drunk. Nothing happened and nothing ever will. He sent the text and she just responded back jokingly. She said she was going to send him a text message saying to stop but never got around to it... again remember the text of ERASE ALL YOUR TEXT not STOP.

All I said is that is the end of it and I never want to see this type of crap going on because you're my sister and he is my husband and I am not sure if you realize this but you will be hurting our daughter and our son the most... but I believe you and so will not worry. I won't make a mountain out of a mole hill... good luck at your first day of work.

I talked to him and he said nothing at first... I blew up. After, later in the day he said that he did it because he wanted to screw her over and my relationship with her... that I shouldn't trust my family and that everyone is out to hurt us, our family and our home. That everyone is trying to control us and take advantage over us. That I trust her more then I trust him... and he wanted hard evidence to prove it. (We do have some really serious family problems and no one wants to see us succeed). STILL DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHY HE ERASED IT AND DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS GOING ON. Nothing makes sense to me and I really don't know what to do with kids, house, cars and bills later. Is this possible. Still a pretty convincing story but why would he text her "Dreaming of you sexy (blush face))" when he doesn't text me that or call me and call me sexy? Why would he text her on the Wednesday nights that he comes home late or didn't come home one night at all? It was at 4 p.m. Why out of the blue (it wasn't a response to anything)? I told him to stop... I can check his phone again but I didn't do it to spy in the first place because I HAD NO REASON TO - I was just looking at his phone applications but after he chased me in the bathroom and was pounding on the door - I had to look to see what his reaction was all about... would you not do the same? I was cornered and I needed to know why.

I also found out after confiding in my brother that my sister, my brother and my husband went for a coffee to talk about me - but this is our marriage and our problems not everyone else? Where was I at this coffee? Instead of talking about me why can't they talk to me? Why behind my back? I am a reasonable person and will listen? So what I have a little bit of depression going on - but yesterday driving at 3 a.m. I felt like ramming my Jeep into the bridge... I cried... I felt torn... I had nowhere to turn and everyone is on holidays. Then I also found out from my brother that they have been going out for coffee. So she cries on his shoulder and he cries on hers!! Recipe for disaster... now I have accepted what he said and have said nothing else since. I am thinking about hiring a P.I. or calling the Police to arrange for a lie detector test because I am not sure I could let this go? If it was some other woman I COULD work this out but this is MY SISTER??

What are everyone's thoughts??

Everyone is covering themselves and I must admit you handle this situation way differently then I would have.
You will never get the truth and believe half of what you heard. Only the two of them knows the truth and it is something they would tell.

I wouldn't be able to trust neither one of them because of this. Your sister nor your husband--talk about sakes.

She is trying to side track you by using excuses to keep you from mistrusting them. Like she says don't trust others advice because they can't tell you so that you trust her instead of others.
She is grasping for straws in an attempt to get you to think it is your imagination.

It sounds like your husband is trying to pull the wool over your eyes as well.
Maybe tell him okay I will quit talking to my sister IF you quit too. Act like his reasoning worked and he won. Quit accusing him or letting him know you are watching him so he lets his guard down. Then if he continues with disappearing, secret phone calls and txting and hiding things you know his story and excuses are just cover ups to get you to back off.

Quote:

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... he did it because he wanted to screw her over and my relationship with her... that I shouldn't trust my family and that everyone is out to hurt us, our family and our home.

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I have never heard a greater load of bull$hit.

If your husband is so concerned about you why would he have coffee with your sister and your brother when behind your back he's sending her sexy text messages? And what was it that they were talking about with your brother?

Something VERY strange is going on - and, it's not just your sister but your husband and your brother that are complicit in it as well.

Either that, or your depression is making you paranoid - is this possible?

In any case, your situation is SO complicated that I think you need professional help to sort it out. I'm not sure what good a lie detector test will do, but I believe they are notoriously inaccurate.

I'd suggest speaking to a clinical psychologist (if you haven't been already) to sort out this stuff and drag your husband along with you. Ask him to stop the contact with your sister and don't you contact her either. Try to sort out this together, if it's salvageable.

I agree. He is either feeding you a line of BS,

OR he honestly thinks this way and it can be dangerous for your relationship!