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-   -   My husband think I'm not passionate about sex anymore (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=376706)

  • Jul 17, 2009, 08:26 AM
    khaksaar
    My husband think I'm not passionate about sex anymore
    I have the best husband in the world. But have problem getting sexual with him. I'm 27 and only married for 3 years but somehow I have lost interest in sex. I don't know what's wrong with me. Although we have sex 4-5 times a week but I feel like I'm trapped. I love my husband and he love me to. He has done everything to satisfy me. But we can't get to any solution. Help me. I'm going insane.
  • Jul 17, 2009, 08:32 AM
    Chey5782

    Sometimes changing what you do in the bedroom can be enough to perk your interest back up. Are you having an issue with boredom? Or would you rather just not have intercourse at all? I find that trying new things always keep me interested and passionate.
  • Jul 17, 2009, 09:06 AM
    stevetcg

    Have you considered seeking the help of a therapist? There may be physiological reasons that you have lost your sex drive. There may also be relationship issues.
  • Jul 17, 2009, 01:46 PM
    jenniepepsi

    I am having this exact problem hon except I'm 24 not 27.

    I was told to 'spice it up'

    After 3 years its... well... not normal, but COMMON, for the sex life to go dull.

    Also do you have any children? Ahving a child plays a huge part in your sexual drive.


    I would suggest you and your husband have a 'date night' see a new movie you both want to see, go out to dinner, then go to the local 'sex shop' and pick out something fun. Either a toy to play with, a video, or a game. (yes they make board games for sex ;) )

    In fact, I want to STRONGLY suggest a sexual board game for your situation. It sounds like it may help a great deal :)

    Here is a good one.
    Discover Your Lover Game: Couple's Board Game - Simply4Lovers.com

    Granted, it's a little pricey, but much cheaper than letting this continue until your both miserable and then pay the 100s of dollars for a divorce :( :(
  • Jul 17, 2009, 09:48 PM
    Gemini54
    I wrote about this in another forum, but, oral contraception can contribute to reduced desire and sometimes reduced libido. This may not be the case with you, but it might be worth checking out.

    Also, why don't you reduce the frequency of sex a bit - it may be that you're trying to please your husband and keep him happy, but it's just not working for you. Less sex, but better quality might make it more appealing. It will also leave some time for you to 'get interested' rather than feeling you 'have to' do it, nearly every night.

    Really, what you must do is speak with your hubbie about it and come to some solutions together - it's hard but if you keep talking about it, then he will know what you're thinking and feeling. Keeping communication open between you and being open to variety in your sexual relationship could improve the way you feel.

    Thing don't stay the same in relationships - they are a constant ebb and flow - certainly passion ebbs and flows depending on the other things that are happening in our lives. If you can both accept this, then you won't feel so desperate when things do change - and they will.

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