My boss is a doctor and he recently hired an old friend of his since he was having trouble finding a job. Before he hired his "friend," he asked me to re-write his resume several months ago. This guy sold cars on E-bay for a living and worked as a waiter. I have a college degree with five years of sales/customer service experience. My coworker is older but I have no respect for him at all. When I finished writing the resume, my boss's "friend" kept telling me that he wanted to take me out to lunch until I finally told him I was engaged and I was only doing my job.

My boss hired him to work along side me... in the same office. This guy has been nothing but a huge thorn in my side. He argues with everything I say, he will not accept contructive criticism and he brags about selling cars on eBay, working in "fine dining" and working with celebrities. I've told him on numerous occasions to not take my suggestions personally and I have to admit... there have been times where I've been rude just to defend myself. I can't believe my boss hired this moron! It completely undermines my intelligence and my coworker completely drains my energy.

I feel like my boss is completely biased and sexist. Now when he walks in my office, he only talks to his "friend" and makes eye contact with his friend when he's telling something to both of us. He also had his blonde "Budweiser model" wife assist me with an expo just because "she's a Budweiser model." I'm not even joking, that's what he said! I'm so miserable. The economy is in the toilet and I have an interview lined up. However, I don't know if I can take much more of this fool I'm working with. Both my boss and this coworker!! HELP!

It sounds like this was all bad from the beginning. Your boss hired an old friend to help him out and you sat on your high horse looking down on him and choosing to be unhappy from the beginning is what I'm hearing. For all you know he's thinking "my friend gave me this job. and i've got this co-worker. and i've tried to get on with her but she is just so stuck up because she has a college degree and more experience here." I wonder how constructive your criticism really is? I know personally, if I don't respect someone, it's hard for me to be respectful when giving them feedback. And I can't think of any situation where it would become necessary to be rude to defend one's self.

Maybe I've got it all wrong, but you're coming off as whiny and stuck up in this post.

Just curious make some great points, consider them before doing anything.

BEING gracious is an excellent life skill.
Being able to tolerate the inabilities of others... also good.

As long as you can reconcile it so that their ineptitude doesn't REALLY impact your job, you can live with it. You can.

In fact, learning to chuckle off the things that
a) don't really matter
b) are irritating but are NOT really a slight on you
c) give you a chance to reconfirm your own strengths, even if only in your own mind

... being able to laugh at the weird things people do and not feel threatened... probably the best skill of all.

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After having said all that, if you cannot bear the ineptitude of your coworker(s) and boss, you should be a lot more proactive in your departure plans.

The economy is bad, but being able to look for a job FULL-TIME would most lost likely lead to a job more quickly.

Once you've truly decided to leave, it would be helpful for your boss to hear the real reasons for your departure, too. Not as an "I'll stay if you change these things"... because few people will hear that correctly. No, you have to be actually leaving for them to hear this properly, "I can't work with people like (coworker), he's your friend so I understand you're hiring him, but he's __________________________.... and you're not seeing that makes it clear I should leave you to run your business how you deem best."

Then wish them well and leave.

Maybe I've got it all wrong, but you're coming off as whiny and stuck up in this post.[/QUOTE]

No absolutely, you may be right. I was definitely turned off from the beginning when he was asking me out and refused to take no for an answer. However, I know I'm great at my job and I bring in a lot of business. It really erks me that the doctor would hire any Tom, and Harry to do this job as though it means nothing. However, it's truly a buyer's market right now and he can do whatever he wants with his company. However, I've had a lot of experience selling in the beauty industry and my coworker will absolutely NOT take any advice or constructive criticism. I only begin to display a rude demeanor and/or attitude when he jumps down my throat in defense. I've told him many times, "Please don't take this personally" or "Don't take this the wrong way." I don't feel like I should have to say those things when I'm just making suggestions about his sales technique. The bottom line is hurting and he's losing sales. I think he's allowing his ego to come in the way of making sales and I have no idea how to express this to my boss because my boss is his buddy. Others in the office have also expressed their annoyance with him as well and they all feel sorry for me! I really want out but I have to pay my bills. Fingers crossed that my interview goes well next week!

How does his losing sales affect you? Is he losing so many the business is at risk of closing its doors and you being out of a job? Sometimes you have to pick your battles. Unless you are his boss, which it doesn't sound like you are, sounds like you both are under your boss, I don't see why it's your place to try to improve his sales techniques. Its great that you've tried. I try to help my co workers too even though I'm not management. But I only have so much power over things. And if people don't want to listen to me, I realize I don't have the authority to make them. As I imagine you don't have the authority to make him listen to your advice.

Yes, this is true. I wish I didn't care. However he also makes the huge mistake of handing difficult callers back to our receptionist when it's my job to take those calls. He also gives patients incorrect information and has possibly committed several HIPPA (patient privacy) violations. My other boss has expressed her desire for me to be more proactive in correcting his mistakes instead of relaying them to her. I try to do this however he is beyond defensive and stubborn. That's what's frustrating and exhausting. However, I think you have a point. It's not my business, I'm not his boss. I'm just going to lay low and if I must, move to another office in the building.

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Originally Posted by txpriss26

Yes, this is true. I wish I didn't care. However he also makes the huge mistake of handing difficult callers back to our receptionist when it's my job to take those calls. He also gives patients incorrect information and has possibly committed several HIPPA (patient privacy) violations. My other boss has expressed her desire for me to be more proactive in correcting his mistakes instead of relaying them to her. I try to do this however he is beyond defensive and stubborn. That's what's frustrating and exhausting. However, I think you have a point. It's not my business, I'm not his boss. I'm just going to lay low and if I must, move to another office in the building.

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I would make your boss aware of the situation.He is most likely trusting you to keep this guy on the right track and if he won't listen and is going so far as to commit HIPPA Violations,your boss should be aware.He could be sued.

If this guy is so foolish ,he will bury himself in time but since you don't seem to have any major qualms about your boss,he needs to be brought up to speed.

That changes things some. Maybe it's time for a private conversation with your boss. Think it all through before you speak with him. I still think that this shouldn't be your problem. But since your other boss wants you to be more proactive it seems like it really has become your problem. Maybe the real issue is really this other boss needs to be doing more to help you resolve these issues since you've so far been unable to on your own.

I really don't want to be a jerk or a whiner. I have two bosses technically, the doctor and our practice administrator. The doctor is a little fickle about everything but my other boss is probably the best boss I've had. I really try to keep as many issues at bay so she doesn't have to mess with them because she's always so busy. I sent her an email yesterday explaining various issues in bulleted format with suggested solutions but she hasn't responded yet. She's been out of the office all week. However, I honestly have a feeling this guy just has an attitude because he's "friends" with the big boss so he can talk to me any way he wants. I'll admit I'm threatened that someone else is here to compete in my department. However, I work in this position because I truly care about people and how they're treated. I don't like to see them suffer at the hand (or mouth) of a bad employee. I'm going to keep the gum in the middle of my mouth but limit my complaints to the possible HIPPA violations...

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I really don't want to be a jerk or a whiner.

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Some might see it that way,I see it as looking out for what is best for the company.
Best of luck!

It does sound like he is obnoxious, over bearing and doesn't like constructive criticism.
You should talk to the boss you really get along with and let him know that things he says and does are making it difficult to do your job efficiently and give him examples.

Look, unless you are this guy's manager, then it's not your responsibility to 'manage' him, or to have to worry about whether his ineptitude will cost the business money. That is your manager's responsibility, and from what you've said so far everyone seems to passing the buck to you.

I would have a talk to the manager that you get on well with and explain that you're finding the situation impossible as a follow up to your email. It is not up to you to provide this person with sales technique training, it is up to the business. Your boss may well be busy, but isn't dealing with the staff and their performance part of the business?

Having said all that, I'd back off if I were you - no more well-meaning advice to this guy and just ignore his comments - let him dig his own hole deeper and deeper - and you keep doing what you have to (even if that means looking for another job).