Hi,
As I said I am only 19 and suffering from a low sex drive. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him dearly.
I better start my listing my medications. I am on thyroxine (I can't stop taking this so I would like to believe it isn't affecting my sex drive), the pill (Marvelon to be exact) and antidepressants (Lovan). I have heard antidepressants can lower your libido so I am looking into coming off them.
Now most of the things people say is that we need longer foreplay. I don't think this is the problem. The thing is, I am lacking the motivation to actually even begin the foreplay.
I feel like this is really affecting our relationship, especially when we actually have sex, because I am becoming quite self conscious about the fact that we barely have sex, plus even my desire to kiss is going down.
Has anyone got any solutions?
I'm always tired a lot, hence another reason I lack motivation.
I have heard of this pill called Clymax for women, anyone used it?
Help is needed!
Thanks

Go to your gynecologist you may have a hormone imbalance or thyroid issue.

I do have a thyroid problem :p hence the thyroxine I'm on. I don't have a gyno

Time to go to a gyno and get an exam. Supposed to have one by age of 18 or when you become sexually active. Whichever comes first

I heard you only needed to after a year and a half of sex. Ok I'll look into it, thanks.
Just worry I will hear the same things over and over.

No such thing!

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Originally Posted by tired90

i heard you only needed to after a year and a half of sex. Ok i'll look into it, thanks.
Just worry I will hear the same things over and over.

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You need to listen to your young friends a bit less. Most of the advice you get from other kids on the street is way wrong, and potientially dangerous in many cases.

Ah well better let you guys know I live in Australia and this isn't a friends opinion, it's a mums and doctors opinion. Maybe the rules are different per country.

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Originally Posted by tired90

ah well better let you guys know I live in Australia and this isnt a friends opinion, its a mums and doctors opinion. Maybe the rules are different per country.

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Well, your Mum can be wrong even if she means well... but its odd that a doctor would say that... its not typical advice in the USA OR Europe. I mean what if you didn't start sex until you were in your 30's? You could die of some things before then that would have been dignosed.

Typically here in the USA women start getting Gynocological exams at 16 whether they are sexually active or not. Pap smears are critical to catch certain cancers early, and yes youg people can and do get this.

I have to agree, here in Australia the standard for pap smears and exams is 2 years after beginning sexual intercoarse.

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

I have to agree, here in Australia the standard for pap smears and exams is 2 years after beggining sexual intercoarse.

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See, that in itself seems odd, because even a 16 year old virgin can have an abnormal pap smear test that would show the need for treatment... if she chose to remain a virgin into her 20's she could die from something that would have been easily treated. Because whiel SOME things might be triggered by sex... quite a few serious conditions aren't. Most likely it's a result of rationed healthcare.

Hey hon.

I would talk to you psychiatrist. As a low sex drive can be a symptom of depression medication, OR even the depression its self.

So if this is the case, not saying it IS, either the medication isn't working and you are still having depression symptoms, OR the medication IS working, but its effecting your sex drive.

In either case, you need a new medication.

So many things play into this its easy to feel overwhelmed. Do your best to be easy on yourself.

Libido can be affected by one big thing or the summation of many smaller things.

The meds alone can do this.

Depression can do this.

Ironically, antidepressants can affect libido in unexpected ways.

Mental blocks, like your having a lower drive and then a less than great sexual experience which then makes your interest in sex even lower... mental blocks suck rocks.

It is a viscious feedback cycle.

You are on antidepressants. You should not come off them without a plan that involves your doctor. Can you talk about why you've been depressed? I've suffered from depression and anxiety myself before and understand both the need for meds and the struggles with them.

Uhm... what about the relationship. I know you love him. That's fine. And you want to please him. Any worries about the relationship outside the bedroom? Concerns about the future? Worried about pregnancy?

Have you ever enjoyed sex? Kissing? Can you get yourself off by self stim? Do you try?

Ill stop there... I know it can seem intrusive and overwhelming... but really, we all are human and all have some of the same desires and urges and the more you can openly talk, the better we can talk to you.

So... ill stop for now and see what you have to say...

Thyroid problems can defiantly affect your love life, and probably the reason for your feeling tired all of the time. Your feeling this way is a real shame especially at your young age.

Anti-depressants can (and usually do) kill a sex drive, in more ways than just one. I know that it is frightening as well as frustrating. Focus on yourself, talk to your doctors, follow-up with them and do what is best for YOU and get your health back on track. Keep your lover in the loop

Look, there is a growing body of research that suggests that oral contraception can contribute to a depressed sex drive. Yes, ironic isn't it!

Add to that the other meds that you're taking - I'm no expert, but anti-depressants depress the libido in some cases, I believe - and you've got a cocktail that isn't good for the sexual relationship regardless of your age.

So, I guess the first stop is your doctor to re-evaluate what you're taking and look at what your other alternatives for contraception might be.

There is also a woman in Australia that writes on female sexuality, called Bettina Ahrnt (think that's how you spell it), and she says that lack of desire is very common amongst modern women. Notice I said 'lack of desire' not low libido. She says that the libido is there, but it needs to be stimulated and the way to stimulate it, is to have sex.

So, her theory is, even though you may not feel like it initially, she says that if you allow yourself to participate in sex and relax, then the feeling of arousal resurfaces. You just have to be prepared to have sex, even if initially there is no desire, and it appears, no arousal.

It's like you need to retrain you body and your mind - and of course, you need to have a loving, patient partner. We're not all sex goddesses (much as we'd like to be sometimes) and the other things that are happening to us emotionally and physically have an affect on our capacity to respond sexually.

Having said all that, we are all different, you're still very young, and what you're feeling now you may not be feeling in 5 years time.

Okay rule #1. Get of the drugs.
The Throxine is going to be a problem , you require this for thyroid stimulation-therefore you may have to live with a decreased libido to live otherwise "balanced"
The rest of the medications that You are on seem to make you feel you HAVE to have them and YOU think it has no effect on your libido? I think you need to stop looking for answers in the form of pills.

Rule #2. When it comes to medical issues, Ignore your "Friends" advice, they don't know what the heck they are on about.

I don't have much time to really explain myself, except, Your use of medications is the most likely issue. However the thyroid medication is a requirement for you it seems..

Best wishes

Almost any antidepressants will lower your sex drive. Whether you are male or female.

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Originally Posted by tired90

I better start out my listing my medications. I am on thyroxine (I can't stop taking this so I would like to believe it isnt affecting my sex drive), the pill (Marvelon to be exact) and antidepressants (Lovan). I have heard antidepressants can lower your libido so I am looking into coming off them.

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The pill will do it. I am 21 and happily married for 1.5 yrs. I had been on the pill (for menstruation regularity; I can't have children) for about six months in the middle of our marriage (not surprisingly, that's when the sex life came to a serious 'slow down'). I have been off the pill for three months to try progesterone cream (a hormone my body lacks) to regulate my menstruations instead.

Enough about me, the point is: the pill lowers libido. I know from experience. My sex drive has been sky high since about a month after going off the pill! So much so that my husband is having trouble keeping up!

My advice: try going off the pill (using another form of contraception if desired) and see how it works for you; I know that's all I needed!

Good luck! ;)