Originally Posted by
I wish
Cheating is NEVER the solution to marriage problems. You have to seperate both men from one another.
Your husband
Staying in the marriage for the sake of the kids can be very miserable. But if you choose this course of action, then both of you need a lot of work to repair the marriage. You need to seek professional help, such as marriage counselling. Furthermore, he has to be willing to put the effort to repair the damage. Otherwise, you're just prolonging the inevitable and just suffering longer.
The other man
We should not even be discussing this other man. Right now, you're just combining both men and forming this fantasy guy. You have your husband who's the father of your children and whatever else that is good. But then, you have this other guy who can provide the things that your husband is missing. Obviously the other guy isn't perfect, so you don't really know his flaws. Right now, he's just a suppliment of what your husband is missing. Leave this man out of your life.
If you want to consider a relationship with this other man, then you have to divorce your husband. Then give yourself some time to recover from the divorce and then, after all that, if you feel that you are ready to date again, then you can CONSIDER this other guy. If you pursue this guy any sooner, he will just be the guy that you cheat with and/or your rebound. Neither are fair to you, your husband or the the guy.