Ask Me Help Desk - Want to divorce legally husband and get married to some one else.

Hi there, well I am a bit confused now I don't know what to do, need some advise whether what I am doing is that right or wrong.

Well I am in relationship with one guy for the past 9 years and he loves me a lot. I first never took him so seriously meaning like getting married to him, because he was not career wise stable. I use to always dream that my husband will be rich, loving, should have everything, caring, understanding. So being in relation for a long time our family members decided that we should get married. Coz many people use to see us going out for lunch, dinner.

The thing is that now I am in love with someone else. I met this boy in January 2009 he had come to my office. He felt in love with me at first sight, I too liked him. He soon called me and we exchanged our cell nos. but I use to think he is flirt, I just taught him as a friend. On 14 Feb he send for me roses and chocolate, that's how my boyfriend came to know. He just got tensed and spoke to my parents and we got legally married.

But I couldn't stop talking to this guy, just love to be with him, talk to him, hear his talks, he keeps saying that he loves me, want to get married to me. But I haven't told him that I am legally married. We went for a date where we had sex.

Now I can't forget him, thinking of giving divorce to my legally husband and get married to this guy because he keeps telling me that let's run from home . Please tell me what to do? Am I doing correct or wrong.

How old are you? You sound very young and not to insult you, immature. You make very irrational decisions. Yes you need a divorce. I advise you to get one. As far as another relationship? You are not ready for another marriage... it will surely end the same way. You know nothing about this person.

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you asked for help and I want to give it to you. You need some counseling now! You need help and until you get it you should not be making anymore commitments.

Let us all pray that you have no children and that you are on birth control

Couldn't agree more with noahsmommy! You shopuld have never gotten married in the first place if you didn't love him and loved someone else. You should've told the guy you liked someone else. You probably don't love this other guy. Just think you do.

He probably don't love you just thinks you're cute.

You need to learn all these things beforehand. Always!! Get divorced! Get help! Don't marry this other guy! Make him spend some quality time with you first... say a year or 2.

I say you may have wasted your last 9 years with a guy. You should never get in a relationship to please anyone but yourself... and the person you are with. Unless you are under 18, no one can tell you who to be with.

Now I'm confused - a month ago you were getting married and "needed" to get pregnant. What is the true story here? It's a little difficult to take your question at face value.

Why does the boyfriend - who doesn't know you are married - want to run away?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/medica...an-363661.html

Wow girl you got yourself into a real deep water! You dated this guy for 9 years and where not in love with him? Your in love with the "idea" of love but have not actually felt love. Love is unconditional, forgiving, loyal, truthful, honest and pure. You marry someone because you "love them" not because you where with the guy for 9 years, because he isn't rich and his career is not steady! Yes you should be married to someone you can relate to, someone who gets "you" and you get "them", when you coexist as one and have great success as a team/partnership and above all friendship. Why on God's green earth would you marry him knowing that you did not love him and can not commit to him?? So what about your parents and their ordeal... it is not up to them who you decide to spend the rest of your life with and their involvement should not be more then moral support in whichever direction is best suited. In my opinion GET A DIVORCE and don't get married right away... as other posters have indicated 2 years or more. But considering you spent 9 years with someone and still commit; I suggest you stay away from serious obligations - the last thing you need to do is bring children into this world when you are so unstable yourself. I have dated and married my man for going on 11 years, we have things together, children together because we strive to succeed together... it's not about money - it's the principal of mutual understanding and respect. If my husband had no job or fell sick... I made an oath to be there for him and I will stand by my man - through everything even though we don't have the perfect marriage and we have our issues. We work together to find solutions and address what we need to. You know I am probably going on and you probably don't understand my point so... to get back to it - divorce and don't even date - learn about yourself and why you have these impulses to make irrational decisions. This type of impulse can be extremely detrimental to yourself and more importantly to those your involved with.

I hope you divorce and I really hope you take it slow... until you learn the difference between like and love.

Morally speaking, you're way in the wrong. Not being sarcastic or anything but from the tone of your post I take it that English isn't your first language and that you're from a third world culture where arranged marriages are still practiced. Now going by the letter of the law, here in the US there's nothing to stop you from divorcing and remarrying. But you've made a shambles of everything by dating and sleeping with this guy while married to your husband and you're just going to keep getting yourself in deeper and deeper over your head.

I am thinking this girl is from a different culture. She does sound young, and she also says 'our family decided for us to get married'

Regardless of age, culture, religion, language... I think everyone can apply some common sense when it comes to relationships unless intelligence is inclined. It's immaturity and a lack personal accountability. Maybe some education would be a good asset for the OP as knowledge is power and knowledge is freedom... concentrate on building themselves rather then having to be dependent or co-dependent on a man to support and provide for her. Life is not a movie and we do not always marry rich with a perfect husband and perfect marriage and perfect family. Non of this makes any sense to the OP. She will choose to be destructive with or without conduct so this is my last post. I can't stand cheaters.

What you are doing is really wrong. You don't date or have sex with someone else while you are married.

You stop seeing this other person and try andmake you marriage work.

Or at least you stop seeing the other person till you get divorced

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

how old are you? you sound very young and not to insult you, immature. you make very irrational decisions. yes you need a divorce. I advise you to get one. as far as another relationship? you are not ready for another marriage...it will surely end the same way. you know nothing about this person.

I dont want to hurt your feelings, but you asked for help and I want to give it to you. You need some counseling now! you need help and until you get it you should not be making anymore commitments.

let us all pray that you have no children and that you are on birth control

Well thanks for your advise, I am 27 years old... I think you are correct I need some time to think. And about the other guy I can't trust him because I just know him for past 5 months.

You sound very confused. At one moment you are in love with him, the next moment you can't trust him because you have only known him 5 months (BTW it is the 7th month of the year).

You are married. PERIOD. All other men are off limits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

how old are you? you sound very young and not to insult you, immature. you make very irrational decisions. yes you need a divorce. I advise you to get one. as far as another relationship? you are not ready for another marriage...it will surely end the same way. you know nothing about this person.

I dont want to hurt your feelings, but you asked for help and I want to give it to you. You need some counseling now! you need help and until you get it you should not be making anymore commitments.

let us all pray that you have no children and that you are on birth control

Hi,

I just wanted to ask you last question please give advise me

Well I told this 2nd guy that I am legally married and he has told me that he loves me and wants me to be his wife only anyhow. He told me to give divorce to my husband and if he don't then we shall ran away from home. I have told him to give me some time at least 10 days to decided whether to come along with him by taking such step or forget him.

He told me that he can't stay without me. What to do

A. what country are you in?

B. It sounds like your family and culture had you feeling you should marry your husband because that is probably how you were raised.
Sort of like accepting who your parents choose for you.
NOW you sound like you are letting this guy influence your mind in the same way you allowed your parents to influence you before.

You need to start thinking and doing for yourself. You say this guy wants you to marry him but you have only known him for a few months. From the sounds of it you are only feeling lead to this because you have no self control to keep your distance from him.
Its not a good idea to jump out of your marriage and run away with some other guy. "
It is not a good idea to let him or anybody influence you into rash decisions