All right how do I start, my best friend, was engaged to a man for a year she dated him for 3, she became pregnant when she told him of this he became enraged told her to go swallow as many pills as she could. (she didn't) accused her of cheating with anyone he could think of, then ended the relationship, he told his mother about the pregnancy, and she said she would pay for half or all for her to have the abortion... she didn't have the abortion... 2 weeks later he transfers his probation back to ms... and decided to leave her his unborn child and a condo full of kittens w/ no food water sad really. I never like the guy... yuck... he drank a lot and when he drank he was not a happy funny drunk like me he was a anger filled, and crazy.. anyways now he is in prison and has not attempted to see him, nor his family, any ways she won't write him back, and I told her not to too, but he sent a letter saying he still loves her, and she needs to send pics of their son underlined, and said he is documenting he wrote a letter and it would be in her best interest to write back, he has a long criminal history just some examples he has kidnapping, robbery, and many other violent acts like tying a black man to the back of his truck and draging him down the road, the recent one was he put a guy in a coma. She thinks he wants pics to get out early or use them,. should she write him back, should she be concerned of him coming back, and could he get custody and if so could he leave the state?. what are the steps to take here. I guess is what I am asking. I love the kid and want him to be safe. And her as well... I need a outsiders opinion.. she is a great mom, and has been excellent she is even making plans to become a police officer...

This isn't legal advice - just a question:

Has paternity been established?

So what is your question ?

First to be honest that relatoinship will have to be explained when she goes to be a police officer. She has to hold some of the responsibility since she decided not only to date this man for over a year ( he had to be this way then) but to have a baby with him. So she is now having to pay for her choices.

She needs to file for custody of the child and get a custody order in place.

So she does not contact him ever again, except though an attorney, when he gets out, she gets a order of protection.

She said she didn't know about half the stuff he did until about 2 years in when he confessed in a drunken state... and still didn't know if it was all true. How will this hold her back from becoming an officer? And for the other question no paternity has been established but he says he wants a test

With the violent history, one would assume that the bio father is in prison for a long time, no?

Like Fr_Chuck said... she needs to file for full custody.

She is under no obligation to send him anything.

It's extremely hard to get a child from the mother. First off, the man is a criminal... and the mother, from what you said, she's done nothing wrong in her life. The mother would have to be a bad druggy or something of the sort before the court would take her child. And, certainly, the court would almost never give a criminal custody.

She needs to show the letter to a lawyer, if he said "it would be in her best interest..." sounds like a threat. I'd make sure he never saw the kid again, I think he doesn't care about the child, he just wants an easy way out of jail.

First, a "sperm donor", is someone who anonymously leaves their sperm in a sperm bank or contributes their sperm through artificial insemination. Your friend had a relationship with this man ergo he is not a "sperm donor".

She needs to go to court to establish her full physical and legal custody of the child. She can even try to get a TPR, she may succeed due to his violent record.

Was the father engaged in these criminal activities when she was having sex with him? Or is this something new?

Old and new it a lot of it happened in Mississippi before he came here, while he was with her, no crimes took place, when he left within 2 months of departure he was in prison for another violent crime, she did not know of 1/2 the stuff he did until around the time of the break up... so I guess he chilled out while he was with her...

Wait I am confused... did he donate to her??

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Originally Posted by punky23

wait i am confused.... did he donate to her???

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I'm sure she's being flippant and sarcastic by referring to the father as the "sperm donor." I rather doubt he went to a fertility site and donated.