Okay so normally a lot of girls I have dated had their problems that were easily worked out but this girl is different.

So this girl who basically I'm falling in love with has these moments that basically ruin everything I try to build up. She had numerous Bf's and she been cheated on by both of the ones she talks about the most she still talks to them, to get to the point of these guys she like drools over him and like says she hates herself and wishes she was more pretty because she thinks if she does that he's going to go back out with her and it was along distance relationship she had with him like he was up here for a bit and hung out but still. She said she dated him for 6 months which I can understand any girl will be you know still attached. She says she loves me and then she talks to him or something and says hurtful things to me and then crys later apologizing and stuff. It just gets real tiring. TO sum it up I like girl girl can't get over one guy girl doesn't think she will ever be happy because she like would kill herself for him. And sh just pushes everything away. Like I put a lot of my time supporting her but in the end is it worth it. Im sorry I can't be more clear its just hard to explain in a way. Basically I love this girl but she doesn't think she'll ever love anyone else other than this guy

You're not blind to the red flags that are laid out quite nicely before you. She's still wrapped-up in one of her exes and treats you like dirt. You already asked yourself if all the effort you put into supporting her is worth it, and I'm sure you know the right answer to that.

Also, her low self-esteem and the fact she was cheated on lends itself to her being a cheater too.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

You're not blind to the red flags that are laid out quite nicely before you. She's still wrapped-up in one of her exes and treats you like dirt. You already asked yourself if all the effort you put into supporting her is worth it, and I'm sure you know the right answer to that.

Also, her low self-esteem and the fact she was cheated on lends itself to her being a cheater too.

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Well she isn't a cheater I know that for a fact but yeah what you said is true I see al these red flags but I've put a lot of them dwn so far. I don't know though thanks a lot for your input

Stop wasting your time on this girl and find someone else who actually likes you and is not blind the fact that you are caring and compassionate and an all-around nice guy.

Besides, if you did go out with her, what do you think would happen? She more than likely will just cause you grief.

You've shown you're a nice guy, and she's not taking the bait, no matter the reason. Move on and let her be in love with someone she will eventually realize cares nothing about her. No sense of you suffering for... well, nothing.

Good luck.

She's attached and you know this but for some reason you are scared to admit it

OK look buddy, I will quote you, and you take it how you want it. " has these moments that basically RUIN everything "... "these guys she like drools over HIM"... "she thinks if she does that HES going to go back out with her"... "loves me and then she talks to HIM or something and says hurtful things to me and then crys later apologizing and stuff"... "girl can't get over one guy"... "girl doesnt think she will ever be happy because she like would kill herself for HIM"... "sh just pushes everything away"... Look, from what I read, she's too concerned with HIM. She's worrying about HIM HIM HIM. She's not concerned with you. Look at the facts, you said it yourself. She can't get over him. Or them which ever it is. Why are you chosing to put yourself through this. Yeah you say you like her but guess what, she's obviously like someone she's not with more then she does you. Sounds harsh but I'm just saying it how it it. You got to get outsie of the box and look at your decision. Your staying with her, but guess what She's NOT WITH YOU, She's WITH HIM. She hasn't let go and until she does NONE of her relationships will be succesfull. Doesn't matter how much you try, she's not trying. She's trying to be perfect for the other guy. Not you. Why do you want to be with someone whose tryign to be the right girl for someone else? And if she's trying to be all pretty for him so hell go out with her, did you ever take into concideration that if he does decide to get with her again, shell leave you in a heart beat? Think about that. How could you fall in love with THAT? She's only with you because she seems like she can't be without a relationship. Your just the drug that is keeping her up for now. But sooner or later, your going to ware off, and it'll get too hard. And either you'll get tired of it or shell find another drug that will be more like her EX. What I suggest is you realize where your at right now. Decide that its time to find yourself someone whose worth it because you deserve to be HAPPY with someone. And your not happy with her. Don't lie to yourself. Then once you've realized that, cut off all connection. Don't talk to her because shell just dump all her negativity on you and leave you to deal with it. And you'll get over her a lot faster. And meet some better people.

On one hand,we all complain about exes here.. but the idea is to listen.

So I don't really see anything wrong about her confiding to you about him.You're right,he's a horrible guy and I'm sure she knows that too.

The problem is not her feelings for him (even hate) or what he did.

The problem is that she still talks to him,why?

A guy who treated her that bad can't be a friend,she gets upset every time she talks to him.

Are you sure she sees you as a boyfriend,and not a friend?

If she sees you as a boyfriend,you have every right to tell her to stop contact.

If you're a friend,not much you can do.

How long was the separation for before you and her went out. You might possibly be a rebond. I hope not cause it sucks to be one. I was twice.