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-   -   Homosexual Brother (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=37541)

  • Oct 16, 2006, 08:40 PM
    charlie123
    Homosexual Brother
    Do you think someone that has lived a homosexual lifestyle can go back straight?

    My brother in law came out of the closet to his mother about a year ago & moved a couple of hours away. He lived with 5 other guys & was living a gay lifestyle. I saw him this past summer & he looked very feminine (toe nails painted, etc.). And he told his mother that he couldn't help the way that he was... so we all had to accept his lifestyle - and we were OK with it. Then a couple of months ago something happened (which he didn't tell anyone any details) & he moved back home with his parents unexpectedly. He was severely depressed & at one point he moved the mattress off his bed & put it in the floor of his parents room. He told my mother-in-law that he felt dirty & didn't want to be that way. He said that he wanted to have children & wanted his children to have a mother & father. He felt like he was going against God.

    He got a new job & has just been working a lot. Well a couple of weeks ago he met this girl that he has supposedly fallen head over heels for. He has been spending a ton of time with her & her 2 kids. It had been a while since I had seen him & he came over last week & looked really good. He had gained about 10 pounds & looked masculine. He was talking about how he thought this girl was THE ONE.

    I am really worried about him - do you think it's possible to be homosexual one minute & straight the next?
  • Oct 16, 2006, 08:53 PM
    educatedhorse_2005
    Everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt.
    If he says is straight then you have to go with it until he does something that says other wise.
    People can change.
  • Oct 27, 2006, 02:56 PM
    Woomanfoo
    There's always the possibility of bisexuality. Maybe (if this is the case) his bisexuality confuses him, and he doesn't really know if he's straight or gay.
  • Oct 31, 2006, 06:41 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will agree there are those who are attracted to sex, they will and do go with either sex. So he may well be attracted both ways. But also there are those who decide to try and live one life style while really not wanting it also
  • Nov 1, 2006, 12:20 PM
    binx44
    I think he's just confused with who he really is.. give him time.. in his own way he will discover what and who he is... Trying tofigure out your sexuality can be one of the hardest things to do in life in my opinion.. everyone is different and needs to discover the unique them
  • Nov 4, 2006, 11:55 PM
    extremely_shy_girl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by charlie123
    Then a couple of months ago something happened (which he didn't tell anyone any details) & he moved back home with his parents unexpectedly. He was severely depressed & at one point he moved the mattress off his bed & put it in the floor of his parents room. He told my mother-in-law that he felt dirty & didn't want to be that way. He said that he wanted to have children & wanted his children to have a mother & father. He felt like he was going against God.

    I would be worried too. From what you said, it sounds like something traumatic happened to him. It's not normal for anyone, gay or straight, to move home unannounced, sleep on the floor in your parents bedroom and do a 180 and say you're straight. Coming out to family and friends is one of the HARDEST things a glbt person can do. The fear of rejection is sometimes unbearable and causes some to stay in the "closet."

    I believe that if you are close to him, talk to him. He may need someone who will listen and be there for him. If not, let him work it out and just be available when he needs a shoulder to lean on. Whether you understand it, be loving and kind.
  • Nov 5, 2006, 08:35 AM
    talaniman
    All my gay friends to my surprise have ex wives /husbands and children. I just thought the need to procreate is as powerful as the need to be gay. I suspect after a child or two he will decide what he wants to do with his life.
  • Jan 14, 2008, 10:54 PM
    ayashe
    You don't choose to be gay or straight! Something very sad clearly happened to that man, and that is what should be researched.
  • Jan 15, 2008, 01:25 AM
    Synnen
    Closed due to date of original post.

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