I live in another state which is fl, I want to file for divorce my spouse lives in New Jersey,what steps should I take?

How long have you lived in Fla. You may file for divorce according to each states divorce laws on residence. Many require 6 months living there.

The other party can of course contest and ask for it to be filed in the state where you both used to reside and then the court will decide where.

First steps, hire an attorney