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-   -   Should we have the baby? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=374196)

  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:35 PM
    KaRiiNa
    Should we have the baby?
    What should I do I have 15 years old and I don't know if me and ma boyfriend should have the baby but we don't want to abort.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:37 PM
    J_9
    Have you discussed this with your parents?
  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:42 PM
    KaRiiNa

    No I haven't because we scared
  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:44 PM
    jenniepepsi

    You need to talk to your parents. Scared or not. There are so many options for you other than abortion.

    If you are in america, call this number 888-672-2296
    It's a teen pregnancy hotlline to help you get the help you need.
    Hotlines for Teens
  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:48 PM
    KaRiiNa
    I know I should tell my parents but I don't know how to?
  • Jul 10, 2009, 05:54 PM
    jenniepepsi

    The best way is to just be honest. Tell your mother you want to speak to her privately, and go somewhere private like your room or your mothers room and sit down with her, take a deep breath and say 'mom... im pregnant... and I'm scared'

    Be HONEST with her. She loves you and she can't help you if you don't talk to her about it. I know how you feel hon. I was 17 when I got pregnant. I gave birth after turning 18, but still, I was living with my mom, under my moms rules/roof, and I was so TERRIFIED.

    But you would be suprrised how a loving parent can react to it. Sure... there will be disapointment... and its not YOU. Its not so much disapointment in YOU PERSONALLY, its disapointment in the fact that everything a parent dreams for their child, is just gone. And its hard to accept something like that. I love my daughter, who is 5. and I have such high hopes for her. And those hopes would be blown away in an instant if she comes to me in the future pregnant. But that doesn't mean I'm disapointed in HER>


    I hope this makes sense to you hon. Good luck.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:00 PM
    KaRiiNa
    Yea I understand but the problem is that I don't knoew how they going to react. Yea I know I have to tell them suner or laiter. I know that when I tell my parents they going to start asking me questions and I won't know if to tell them the true or not I'm just confuce rite now.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:04 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Its perfectly normal to be confused hon. Just take it one step at a time and take a deep breath and relax. Even if you decide not to keep the baby, being stressed is not good for the baby OR you at this time.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:08 PM
    KaRiiNa
    Yea that's true but the other problem is that I think that I don't love my boyfriend and I don't know if I should stay with hem
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:12 PM
    danielnoahsmommy

    How far along are you. Since you are not willing to abort and you plan on having the baby you should start taking prenatal vitamins and get an obgyn exam to check the health of the baby. It is time to think of the baby and not just yourself.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:14 PM
    KaRiiNa
    Yea I should its maybe I'm just thinking of myself because I'm scared because what's going to happen but ima start caring for tha baby
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:16 PM
    jenniepepsi

    The feelings your feeling are normal hon, but there is a time when you have to put your own feelings aside and become the responsible one. As harsh as it sounds, and I say this as nicely as I can, you had sex, you made that choice, now its time to step up and be responsible for it you know?
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:19 PM
    KaRiiNa
    Yea I understand
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:21 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Good luck hon, I will be keeping you in my thoughts and keep us updated on what happens and what you decide OK?
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:22 PM
    danielnoahsmommy

    Same here!
  • Jul 10, 2009, 06:24 PM
    KaRiiNa
    OK thankn you for all your help
  • Jul 10, 2009, 07:01 PM
    N0help4u

    Even if you don't want an abortion some parents make their kid get an abortion anyway. How old is your boyfriend? Do your parents even know about him?
  • Jul 10, 2009, 07:08 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Legally, the parents of the prenant teen cannot force an abortion. However, many parents find ways aroudn that by saying 'if you don't get an abortion you can't live here anymore' so while a parent can't legally force her to have an abortion, they can make her feel like she must do it.


    *edit* please note, I am speaking about america, I am not sure about the laws of other countrys on this issue
  • Jul 10, 2009, 07:11 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    even if you don't want an abortion some parents make their kid get an abortion anyway.

    That is against the law these days. Once a gal is pregnant she is emancipated in the sense that she is in control of the decisions that are made regarding the baby. Her parents still can make decisions regarding her health care as long as it has NOTHING to do with the pregnancy.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 07:12 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    legally, the parents of the prenant teen cannot force an abortion. however, many parents find ways aroudn that by saying 'if you dont get an abortion you can't live here anymore' so while a parent can't legally force her to have an abortion, they can make her feel like she must do it.


    *edit* please note, i am speaking about america, i am not sure about the laws of other countrys on this issue

    Yeah they can use many parent tactics to get the result they want and if her boyfriend is over 15 they can even threaten to have him arrested for statutory rape of a minor.

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