My dad owns a business and I work for him. All he cares about is his stupid business and I work for hours at the end, trying my best to keep up. All he does is work work work, constantly, he rarely cares about the family, he doesn't give time to the family, all he does is scream at what we are doing wrong constantly at me and my brother. By the way I'm a guy if no one caught one and I am 17, I go of to college in 2 months, I am looking forward to it, I want to get the hell out of here, I also at the same time want to calm my dad he seems always mad and can't get the right things done, I tried talking to him, but its like talking to a stone, anything you say to him won't go through, and mother is schizophrenic so she isn't an option to talk to. All I can say is I'm tired of this and am looking forward to life in college away from my cold hearted as hole dad. Im just worried about my little 11 year old brother, and I hope there is something I can do to make my dad understand.

I kind of understand your dilemma as my father and I have a very strange relationship too.

Is there another family member you could talk too?
Your father sounds rather stressed so could maybe do with someone to talk to himself.

My advice would be to get your dad talking openly perhaps ask him why and where this business came from and why he works so hard and try to bring kindly into the conversation that does he feel he has missed out on anything due to working so hard etc etc.

Maybe it's worth a try... even if he does nothing but shout at you it may give him pause for thought later when he is alone..

Wow, with a mother with issues, your father seems to be carrying a huge burden for raising you and your brother alone.

Is your father ex-military?

Sometimes it really takes becoming parents to see a different perspective on our parents. Your relationship sounds rough, but I doubt it is because your father doesn't care. Maybe he is even stressed about you moving on, it will leave more off the business responsibilities to him.

I would suggest a gentle sit down with your father. You would be surprised how a mature approach, can return a mature response.

Well dad doesn't shout all the time, but we are new , it's a startup business, so it's a do or die, I understand why he is stressed since we all have to work constantly, but he doesn't give me and my brother credit for the work we have done, he uses us as servant or unpaid employees tells us right after we have woken up, go here and do this , then do this, and its making my blood boil since I am getting no time to relax whatsoever, my father has always been with us, and takes used to take us everywhere, I am only saying this since its new I have never seen him like this, its pissing me off beyond anything, he only cares and only about his business and says he doesn't need me or my help yet makes me work, forces me to work. I have no other family member to talk to other then my little brother, and I don't feel it's a good idea to talk to a little one which such words.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Wow, with a mother with issues, your father seems to be carrying a huge burden for raising you and your brother alone.

Is your father ex-military?

Sometimes it really takes becoming parents to see a different perspective on our parents. Your relationship sounds rough, but I doubt it is because your father doesn't care. Maybe he is even stressed about you moving on, it will leave more off the business responsiblities to him.

I would suggest a gentle sit down with your father. You would be surprised how a mature approach, can return a mature response.

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My parents raises me and my brother together, its just my mother was diagnosed a couple years ago with schizophrenia, she used to be perfectly fine but now she talks about things that don't exist.. my dad has been working all his life, and now it's a family business we are working on, I have tried talking to him, he is like a stone he doesn't understand what he is doing to us, he just cares about his business. He does have to put up with my mother, she is always talking but sometime she stops, but she works, she is functional.

Chance are when he says he doesn't need you is when there's a heated argument.
I can tell he needs you very much,and he's proubably dreaming of the day that you and your brother will take over the business.
When your starting any new biz. There's so many mistakes made not just by you I'm sure there's many that he's made,any biz. Leader works off this moto watch the small stuff and let the big things take care of themselves.
When my dads construction co. started I saw him go ballistic mad over a broke drill bit that cost 2$,and yet not say hardly anything over missing a water tie in in the bid that cost the co.2500.00$ he new that watching over the employees and the little things is what mattered the most,sounds like that's what your Dads doing.

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Originally Posted by zippit

chance are when he says he doesnt need you is when theres a heated argument.
i can tell he needs you very much,and hes proubably dreaming of the day that you and your brother will take over the business.
when your starting any new biz. theres so many mistakes made not just by you im sure theres many that hes made,any biz. leader works off this moto watch the small stuff and let the big things take care of themselves.
when my dads construction co. started i saw him go ballistic mad over a broke drill bit that cost 2$,and yet not say hardly anything over missing a water tie in in the bid that cost the co.2500.00$ he new that watching over the employees and the little things is what mattered the most,sounds like thats what your Dads doing.

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You are honestly spot on, he does complaint over little things, but what I don't understand is he spends more time complaining then getting things done, he also repeats many things over, such as he tells me a certain thing happened but 10 minutes later he tells it to me again. On top of that anytime he gets mad at me he says he doesn't need me, when I turn 18 I am out, he'll call the cops to tell me to leave, tells me to get an apartment, but I am helping him hours at the end. He doesn't appreciate any work that I do, and always finds the bad in it.

That's too bad he's acting this way
Maybe when your at school for awhile things will change.as far as you'r brother let him learn on his own he might have a different experience,you know what I mean?
He might click better with your dad or he might get tired of everything faster but however it works out its between him and your dad and if you get involved it might come out bad for everyone

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Originally Posted by zippit

thats too bad hes acting this way
maybe when your at school for awhile things will change.as far as you'r brother let him learn on his own he might have a different experience,you know what i mean?
he might click better with your dad or he might get tired of everything faster but however it works out its between him and your dad and if you get involved it might come out bad for everyone

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I hope your right, but at the same time I don't want to run away from my problems, right now I feel as if I'm in a box, and there is no way out, but I want to get out, however I want things to be right with me and my dad, I don't want him to have any hard feelings about me, I know he grew me up and all, but I don't want him to think I am leaving to college since I hate him.

Well you don't hate him do you?

It sounds to me as though your dad has his own struggles and frustrations, very stressed and I can't help thinking that it's his way of dealing with the shock of your mothers illness and the stress of having to keep the family together. I can't help feeling that, I maybe wrong but that's what I see.

Dads can be like that sometimes you know, and they don't even realise they are doing it, so they appear cold and like they don't care, when really all they are doing is trying to earn a living to keep the family together, its his pride.

My family was a family business with my parents, and my father used to bring his work home, barely slept, stressed at trying to keep the business afloat, expected us to do the same and bring our work home, this,that and the other, but we understood in the end that he was appreciative of us, he just got lost in the business side of things.

Just another though here, you could try expressing how you feel in a letter to your dad and give that to him or leave it on the side. Sometimes its easier to communicate through writing, easier for him and easier for you,things seem to sink in a lot better that way.

I understand what your saying, but you don't see his anger, he threatens to break my things if I don't do as he says, sometimes even I'm tired he says go do this and this, he doesn't account for anyone's work, and threatens to break something when mad, for an example, while eating breakfast he told me to do such an such, I told him I will just hold on let me finish breakfast, he leaved then comes back 5 minutes later threatening to break my ps3 if I don't do it right away. He often makes fun of me for no apparent reason, calling me names, and he expects me to work. His reason is he provides food for me and I need to give in to the family, I do I work constantly , I am the salesman and I am working more than 10 hours a day, for free, this is my time, I get nothing to do afterwards, my life feels as if I wake up work and go to sleep, I get nothing out of it but a bishin dad.

Hey GARMIN?
Was he always like this or just since the family biz. Kicked off?
When was your mom diagnosed with her illness?
What's the nature of your biz. You sell what?
Just curious maybe I will understand more

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Originally Posted by spiritcharms

Just another though here, you could try expressing how you feel in a letter to your dad and give that to him or leave it on the side. sometimes its easier to communicate through writing, easier for him and easier for you,things seem to sink in alot better that way.

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He makes a big deal out of little things, if I complaint he says he your acting like this employee, he often compares me to crappy employees when I complain or do something wrong. For an example when I take a break without telling him he says" you're working like (employee name) , he works for 10 minutes and then takes a 50 minutes break." :( , I have tried getting to him , letting him know what I want, but it usually turns into an argument, such as you have a little brain ,you're a baby, you always play, when you turn 18 I'm kicking you out, I don't need you...

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Originally Posted by zippit

hey GARMIN?
was he alway like this or just since the family biz. kicked off?
when was your mom diagnosed with her illness?
whats the nature of your biz. you sell what?
just curious maybe i will understand more

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He has been like this only since we started the business last year, however me my brother and dad have been tired of our mothers talking, mother was diagnosed 2 years ago, she takes medicine of an off, when she doesn't she talk , sometimes she refuses to take medicine, it's a bed and breakfast, and I am the best salesman/frontdesk person he has,. so we always have the nagging need to clean the rooms and keep the place tidy.

See that makes a lot of sense
You guys are tied in together so much.
Its good that you don't want to feel like your going off to school on a bad note but regardless your leaving and he's going to learn how much you do around there.also with the moms illness new that is so much one everyone and I tell you I can take years for her med's to get right especially if she doesn't take them regular.what needs to happen is before you leave you guys shut the doors and go on a family outing somewhere but I dought DAD will let that happen

Sorry about the misspelling fat fingers

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Originally Posted by zippit

see that makes alot of sense
you guys are tied in together so much.
its good that you dont want to feel like your going off to school on a bad note but regardless your leaving and hes going to learn how much you do around there.also with the moms illness new that is so much one everyone and i tell you i can take years for her med's to get right especially if she doesnt take them regular.what needs to happen is before you leave you guys shut the doors and go on a family outing somewhere but i dought DAD will let that happen

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The outing won't happen business is booming :D , I just need fresh-air, I was hoping for advice on how to deal with him, I am a calm person, but dad is taking my anger to the edge :eek:...




Anyway enjoy this image

http://boston.3432.voxcdn.com/wp-con...9/07/obama.jpg