I have a 20 yr old daughter, Jennifer who 5 days ago disappeared, left everything in her apartment, quit her job and is helping her troubled fiancé hide from the cops. I don't know where she is and if I should call the cops or get involved. She could be in trouble. She is very naïve and trusting not real street smart. My husband says to leave her alone, but as a mother it is very hard to do that. Has anybody had to deal with this situation before? I live in Denver Colorado

DJ

You need to file missing person report.

Look at it this way, the cops are already looking for her. So putting out a missing persons report is probably not going to help any.

She is an adult and legally able to make her own decisions, even if they are bad ones. The best you can do is put the word out to whatever friends of hers or her fiance's that you know that you just want to know she is safe and that you want to help anyway you can.

She knows how to contact you if she wants to.

Why are the cops looking for the fiancé?

The police are already looking for him, but they may not be looking for her. If you report her missing, they will look for her also. This may put her in a position of helping a criminal. You are a mother, do what your heart tells you to do. If it makes you feel better, do it. You may save her from something worse.

The cops are looking for my daughter's fiancé (V) because he was jailed last May for assault with a deadly weapon, he put a knife through an arm of a friend luckily his friend lived through it. He has anger issues. 1 month earlier he almost cut off my daughter's hand with a knife, there was a restraint order on him not to get near my daughter, but she is so forgiving and naïve that she got it released so she could visit him in jail.
This guy is bipolar and manic depressive, with mulitple personalities, he thinks he is a vampire. He has been on a work release program and my daughter got him a job and picked him up from the jail and took him to his job. ( 2 months left of his work release) and he says... I would rather die then stay in this jail. So he quit his job and just walked away from jail.
I believe that he is suicidal and has my daughter with him. I have called the police Dept. but they said there is nothing they can do at this point. They are looking for him though.
It is hard to just do nothing.

djjohnson

I am so sorry for you, did he have a probation officer? Possibly you could talk to him and by them knowing your daughter is with him they could look for her also. If he was on work release he should have one. If so, they would be more apt to look for him than the police. Unfortunately, everyone in law enforcement is so busy, small potatoes are left out. I cannot imagine just waiting.

Did she have a debit card? You could contact her bank and find out where she has been using the card and maybe track her that way.

Just a thought.

The bank can not give you any information unless you are on the account. Check her mail at her appt, she may have a credit card or as J9 said debit card and you can watch for the statement.

But could they give info if there is a missing person's report and this is next-of-kin?

No, legally they would be in trouble. Only the courts could get the information. It sounds unhelpful, a banker can not make that call.

So, if she does end up going through the police, that would be a lead they could follow up on?

Yes. I would contact his probation officer first. A probation officer actually has more rights than a police officer when one is on probation. He does not need a warrant if he has an idea where he is. He can just barge in where a police officer has to have a warrant. Often times police will take a probation officer with him for that reason. I am sure if he was on work release he has a probation officer.

It was just a thought DJ. No need to post a disagree. We are only trying to help.

DJ,
First, may I suggest checking out this post about how to use the comments feature:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Second, I do feel for you and appreciate your situation. But I fear there is little you can do at this point. Your daughter has made her choice, as bad as it may be. The only thing you can do is try to let her know that no matter what, you still love her and want to help and be supportive.

The police are looking for the fiancée. If they find him and your daughter is not with him, she may come home at that point. If she is with him, they will probably bring her in too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Did she have a debit card? You could contact her bank and find out where she has been using the card and maybe track her that way.

Just a thought.

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I don't think she meant to disagree, maybe didn't realize it would put a blue mark on your rep, she may need to take it back.

Ah, she was new and did not know how it worked. No problem. She can't take it back, but as I said, no prob.