I am making a will right now, the question I have is, how best to divide up personal belongings like art and antiques among any survivors? I don't need a legal help, just advice on what others have done. I mean there is only one of some items, it can't be cut into several pieces. Do I get an appraisal and give out individual items to each person based on the value? Do I number everything and have a lottery or draw lots or something? I don't want to call attention to it by asking each person what they want, also based on past experience with my mom's estate, several people will want the same items.

My parents set up their will/trust so that we four kids will get the opportunity to choose (one at a time, from oldest to youngest -- yay I'm the oldest!) objects from the ancestral home. For instance, in the presence of the family lawyer, each of us will take turns and go room by room to make choices of art, knick-knacks, furniture, clothing, jewelry, kitchen appliances and utensils, linens and bedding, etc.

Meanwhile, while she's still alive (my father died in 1994), my mother has been giving each of us special things that we have long since asked to inherit. I now have my father's bronze bust of Martin Luther and my mother's ceramic pig cookie jar.

If you know someone has a special preference, why not bestow items on them now while you are still alive? Or, decide by age or relationship to ask in some order and find out their preferences.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Meanwhile, while she's still alive (my father died in 1994), my mother has been giving each of us special things that we have long since asked to inherit. I now have my father's bronze bust of Martin Luther and my mother's ceramic pig cookie jar.


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This is the best thing you can do for right now.my mom passed in jan. and she made a list and had it notorized,and what she did was give items she thought was the best fit for that child me and my wife are outdoory type people she gave us those things,her sister<wifes>is a indoors artsy person and her mom gave her those types of things.

You give it exactly how you want to,
If making sure the money value is important, that means you expect them to sell the item, so why not just have it all sold and divide the money.

If not, what pieces they seem to like when they visit. Or just what you would like each to have

My reply didn't come out right I meant the best thing you can do is while your alive give the things that you want them to have and that you can live without,especially the small keep sakes your loved ones will appreciate receiving these things from you now instead of later.of course anything you use or even enjoy looking at doesn't need to be moved now but you'll have good results giving some now.

Well the monetary value, I mention because say, someone gets a vase or a lamp, someone else gets a piece of fine furniture... they are liable to think they were cheated or slighted in getting less?
My experience with Mom's estate, oldest sibling was executrix. She changed the locks on the family home (my mother lived alone, in her 80's) and locked everyone else out, we were told we could get nothing out because she needed the items in the home for insurance purposes, that the house would be "occupied" not vacant. After a few months we were told that the house would be cleared out and everything placed in a dumpster, which she (we) paid for out of the estate account. So we were both told that we could get nothing and charged for the removal of the items. It was obvious she was on a power trip, and my mom's things had only sentimental value, so I just let it go.
She and another sister were fighting tooth and nail over a painting my mom had that was actually one of those paint by number deals, a picture of Jesus... so if they were willing to nearly kill each other over who got a picture of Jesus, I don't want to attract their attention, you know, get bumped off by these greedy people if they think I have something of value. (They have not visited my home in over 20 years.)

Personally I would give to each what I think they would most appreciate like Zippit said. Even if you ask them what of yours they would be interested in having.
Like my mom has a chest that I like and a china cupboard that my sister likes.
I like her earring collection and non fiction books.

Then the rest that you aren't sure about let them divide among themselves like Wondergirl said.
Whatever they can't agree on and whatever is left that nobody wants goes to charity.

Since they have not cared to visit in 20 yrs I would probably give everything away to friends in my later years. Then just divide the house and money equally between the family.

I know people who insist that everything go to charity or get thrown away, will their house to the city or whatever. I have to agree that is spite.

I just completed my will.

I decided against asking everybody what they wanted, and left the estate to be equally divided in two.

I don't think anything you do will prevent possible squabbles that you couldn't predict. The best of plans and lists and appraisals will not always result in a cut and dried situation when the assets need to be divided.

I made special provisions only for my pets, which will go to friends, along with a cheque each for their care. A collection of books will go to another friend with the same interests. Otherwise it is all just 'stuff', and they can do with it what they want to.

The value of the house and property is where the line will be divided legally.

Otherwise, they are on their own to negotiate what's left.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

I guess I'm just going to decide whether to take the high road, you know, and leave them all a nice gift or just treat them like they've treated me. I like the idea of leaving a lot of stuff to friends too, and the idea of providing for my dog, although she's 9 and probably won't outlive me but I guess I could get another one later on too.

Best wishes in your difficult task. My grandmother had 7 children, 20 adult grandchildren and 30 great grandchildren and a nice estate, with no arguing at all over who got what when she passed in December.

While she was still living, she chose something special to give to each family member and told us each that the item was our inheritance -that she wanted to personally select what she wanted us each to have. She could certainly have willed them to us if she wished to continue enjoying them during her lifetime.

We each felt we had our special thing from her that she specifically chose for us, so when she passed in December, there was no squabling over what remained. Some relatives got more than others.