OK well we almost made 2 years... then it ended. We didn't really clarify a NC rule but it just kind of happened... and its been like 10 days... her last text read something like this
" im not bitter and jaded towards you i just dont know how to act. i just can't be with you and i dont want to be with you and its not just not there for me anymore i can't wait around for something i dont even think is right anymore..i care about you deeply and i love who yo are as a person and what youve done for yourslef and your life im really happy and proud of you ...i just can't pretend like everything is ok and wait around for the day i feel the way i used to about you...its not just your fault its about me and what i want and need. i do love you but ive felt this way for a long time i just havent been able to admit it to myself or you. i dont wanna hurt you but i feel like i have to be blunt because i dont want you to think that i dont wanna be with you for the all the wrong reasons..."
It was coming, I kind of knew it, but I just felt like we really had a shot.. basically I had to move home for some personal reasons I had to face some issues on my own. I am moving back to where she is in 2months and I really felt like we would make it through... anyhow obviously we didn't. And so after that text I didn't reply... so now its been 10 days since last contact and 2 days ago she texted me and said
" hey.. hows it going, just wanted to see how your lifes going? i ran into your buddy bill and he said your coming up here this weekend"... then like three hours later she texted again and said "or not..."... is she testing the waters or something?
So I think I know I should continue NO CONTACT because in that first long text before the NC I really got the hint like hey man its over... so I stuck to my guns I have done no contact and I probably already know the answer that I will get from you guys... I think I just need to hear it or maybe I just needed to get some things off my chest.
Thanks..