She recently broke up with me about 2 months ago! The first month I decided to text her back every week and would always reply saying she was happy with him. To leave her alone that I was going to get in trouble with him If I kept texting her, and that she was going to call the cops if I was ever around her apartment. That made me realize that I had to forget about her and move on. At the beginning of the 2 month I made up my mind to forget about this girl and force myself not to think about my past, it worked pretty well and so I was finding myself being comfortable on my own. I would always look at my phone to see if she would text me back, call me, missed calls and there was nothing! I actually convinced myself that it was over and she was never going to call back or come back and see this girl ever! 5 years I was with her! I was depressed and crying every other day. She finally called on the 3rd week! I got what I wanted in the first place:friends! She called me to only talk about her new boyfriend's bad ways toward her, and that she doenst know anymore that she thinks that he's cheating on her! Now that she told me she wants to only be friends I now expect her to call me and when she doesn't I get disappointed! Its been 2 weeks now and she does not call but she answers the phone when I call! To me it means that's she still cares about me! I want her back and don't know what to do! Should I keep calling her? Should I stop? I call her at least once a week and recently told her if she wants to go out for dinner but she doenst know! She keeps telling me ! Maybe! Only getting my hopes up! I want her back! What's the best way to go on this in this situation?

I know it's hard, but the best way to get her back is to become unavailable.
See, before you were calling and texting her all the time - right? She told you to stop, and you did... Then, she realized you weren't going to bother with her anymore, so she called you.
You can't let her see that your feelings for her interrupt your everyday life. Women are attracted to strong, confident men that can handle problems and stress like a stone; however they want you to be soft and caring toward them. Example: Her new boyfriend isn't being nice and may be cheating... She called you for comfort...
You can't allow yourself to be used like that, it shows weakness and she'll take full advantage of having her cake and eating it to.
She needs to see and realize that you get along in life just fine without her, that your're strong, and confident, and that you can move on whether she's in your life or not.
Go out with friends, see other people and meet new friends, enjoy your hobbies, wait for her to call you again and don't answer the phone the first time she calls. After that, the next time she calls you and asks, "why didn't you answer my call?", tell her you were washing your car, or watching a game with the boyz, or what ever it is that you do...
If she asks why you didn't call her back, just say you're sorry and that you got busy and that you forgot, but that you didn't mean to do it purposely, it's just that you haven't gotten around to calling yet.
The more she realizes that you don't need her, she'll want you back.
To maintain a happy and healthy relationship, it's important to share a part of your life with your significant other, not have them be your whole life.
Who knows... Maybe you'll end up finding someone else who you're able to begin a new chapter with... Just play it cool and see how things go...
Good luck to you.

I see you have it bad. To heal after a 5 year relationship is a long hard road and you start with cutting off all contact with her whatsoever. I don't care what she does or how many times she may call don't talk to her. I also notice she answers your calls and gives you just enough to keep your nose open. That has to stop since she has obviously moved on and left you at the friends table , knowing full well that talking about her new boyfriends is going to rip at your heart. That's when you should have nipped it in the bud. NO CONTACT at all. Make yourself happy with yourself and learn to live without her. It takes time I know but the alternative in my opinion is to be at her beck and call with no relationship. Move on.

You need to forget about it and move on. She left you for someone else who is treating her badly. She obviously is not a good judge of character and not someone you want to be involved with. You need someone with much more self esteem that she has. It's over and you've got to accept that. Get on with your life. Do the things that interest you. Meet and date new people. Get involved in other activities and build a life for yourself, without her. Join a dance club, take a class, take up a new hobby (or "dust off" off an old one.) Learn to enjoy life without her and , for that matter, without the prospect of having any one person being the center of your life.

Hi,

I am in the same position as you! My fiancé split up with me after 3 years a couple of months ago. I had initial contact for the first month but I have accepted that I must move on. The other advice you have got here is right... It is extremely hard, but you need to stop the contact... If she wants you back, she will come back... The thing to remember here is the fact that if you push her into coming back, she might not be back for the right reasons.. You need to know that she is back because she wants to be with you. It sounds to me that in your situation, you need to let time do the work.. She will start comparing her new partner to you and realise in time that you are better... I know it hurts to be thinking everyday that she is in someone else's arms, but you must not chase her, because she will think you are needy and she know you love her, she is not stupid.. She is already doubting her decision.. It may take time, but it should work out in the end... And if it does not, well MOVE ON!! You sound like a good person and I'm sure you will find someone better who can appreciate you for who you are. Obviously don't ignore her, but don't let her think that you will be a revolving door for her, and she will value you for the respect that you have for yourself...

I hope it all works out for you!!

Hi Again,

I remember that with my Ex, we split up twice before in the 3 years we were together, the first two times, I just acted like I was O.K about it... She came back within 5 days each time... Unfortunately, I messed up the 3rd time because I was in love with her but I let her know that I was not O.K with it... She has not come back after 2 months... Does that say something?? Yes, if you show her that you are o.k about it and you can move on without her, you will likely get her back... I realise this now which is why I am not contacting her... If she calls, I will not answer the first time... I mean, I may have lost her completely or I may not have but your situation is very similar to mine... Just leave it for a while and lose your mind in something else.. Personally (and I don't want to build your hopes up) I think she will be back if you follow this advice.If you love her, give her some space to work out her feelings...

Take care...

I think its really important to note that breaking up is different than separating. The inexperienced or the immature confused those two repeatedly. Most people, in a relationship that was "real' which ended with a breakup that was "real" aren't in their right minds for a while due to how hurt they are. Hence the no contact rule! To override that is risky bordering on foolish at best and the mark of a player at worst. Any contact after its over is an invitation to be played or a measure of one's desperation. It just doesn't work out for a huge percentage of the time, and everyone loves to tell themselves how remarkably unique they are and it will end like in One Fine Day (a great movie, if you don't take it too darned seriously).

There are friends, there are lovers and there are ex's (friends or lovers). If you want to blur the lines on that, shrugs, fine by me but don't be surprised that you have the trouble you do. Read Tal's post (#3) again!

I had something similar once. How you're feeling really sucks right now. You probably feel like your whole life has fallen apart, to some degree anyway. I can only tell you that it gets better with time. You have to be strong and stop calling her. If she calls you, its okay to talk to her, if you can handle it, but don't talk to her about how you're feeling, and keep things distant for a while. You need time to heal. You need to get it out of your head that you will get back with her. Go meet some other girls. You're probably not ready to actually start dating again, but the best way to move on is to keep busy, and realize that there're other people out there. Good luck!