Ask Me Help Desk - I Love Her, But.

I am in true love with this girl. I am 14 right now and about 2 years ago we met and had classes together at school. She is so amazing and all in a girl I could ever want. I wasn't really super amazing friends with her or anything, but the times we do talk... I don't know how to explain it. She knows I like her, and I think that's what's making things kind of weird because I never talk to her. The last time I talked to her was months ago on a school trip even though I would walk by her all the time in the hallways. We would see each other and sort of ignore each other because it was akward.

I am extremely in love with her, and when I see her my heart stops for a second, literally. I am so excited and filled with joy when I see her.

Although, she has a boyfriend. Right now it's the summer and about 2 or 3 months before the end of the school year I think she got her boyfriend. Now I know her boyfriend, we talk and stuff but I am not great friends with him. We don't dislike each other, but we just don't hang our or anything. Anyway I know I'm only 14 and she is 14 and her boyfriend is 14, and the fact that everybody says relationships don't last long, but I am afraid.

I know some people will just say "Oh she isn't your to lose." She is my ALL. I love her and my heart hurts when I see her talking with her boyfriend. Currently its 4 am for me. I was reading Facebook comments and she and her boyfriend say they love each other, but I don't believe it. We are only 14.

I am getting so worked up because I really love this girl and I am so depressed because I never talk to her, and all the times I don't talk to her other people do. I really just want to be with her.

I mean I know a lot of guys my age just want to hook up with girls and stuff and I would do that with girls and stuff, but I REALLY care about her. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. And yeah, I can see myself doing stuff with other girls, but the picture or future I see is only with her.

My heart hurts a lot because I'm not with her.

Please give me advice as to what I should do. Oh yeah, this isn't an obsession or anything so please don't post useless comments. But yeah, please just tell me how to calm myself or whatever. Maybe advice as to how to talk to her. I can talk to girls, but I get really really nervous with her.

You have your whole life ahead of you and life is full of surprising twists. You really can't do anything when she says she has a boyfriend and she loves him. But in a year or two or more she might not be with him. In a year or two or more you might find another girl that you find just as amazing.
You can't change what is now. Time is on your side. They say good things come to those who wait and I learned in my life when I push for something I have to have it never works out as what is best for me.

Kid your 14, that's puppy love, or a crush, or what ever you crazy kids are calling it these days
Love is, to me, is a mystery, mo such thing as one true love, or solemates, love is what you make it
Im 16, my girlfreind is 14, we do the same thing on Facebook "i love you" "awww, i love you too" I don't know if I love her or not, but it's that feeling of affection, that strong affection that messes with our heads
You sound like a sensitive dude, cool, nothing completley wrong with that at all, you just got to know, your young, don't focus on one girl at a time if your looking, if she's got a boyfreind, there isn't nothing you can do, espesually if your barley her friend, you just got to grin and bear it, because the truth is, love hurts, emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain, because physical pain heals. What I'm saying is, don't go getting yourself hurt over a girl who has a boyfreind, if she loves him, she "loves him" OK, but trust me, it won't last between those too, but what does it matter to you, if you really care for her, let her and her guy just go through their thing, and you go through your own, because here's the thing about things you can't have, you want them more, and it sounds like, to me, you have a slim chance on getting her heart, so move on

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0Listener0

I was reading facebook comments and she and her boyfriend say they love eachother, but I don't beleive it. We are only 14..

You're smarter than you think. Now you just have to apply this to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

Kid your 14, thats puppy love, or a crush, or what ever you crazy kids are calling it these days
Love is, to me, is a mystery, mo such thing as one true love, or solemates, love is what you make it
Im 16, my girlfreind is 14, we do the exact same thing on facebook "i love you" "awww, i love you too" i dont know if i love her or not, but its that feeling of affection, that strong affection that messes with our heads
You sound like a sensitive dude, cool, nothing completley wrong with that at all, you just gotta know, your young, dont focus on one girl at a time if your looking, if shes got a boyfreind, there aint nothing you can do, espesually if your barley her freind, you just gotta grin and bear it, because the truth is, love hurts, emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain, because physical pain heals. What im saying is, dont go getting your self hurt over a girl who has a boyfreind, if she loves him, she "loves him" ok, but trust me, it wont last between those too, but what does it matter to you, if you really care for her, let her and her guy just go through their thing, and you go through your own, because heres the thing bout things you can't have, you want them more, and it sounds like, to me, you have a slim chance on getting her heart, so move on

Well here is the thing. I am one of those much more mature kids. I stick up for people when they get picked on even if the person picking on them is my friend. I find many kids around me to be stupid and selfish, yet this is the typical life of a 14 year old. Am I right so far?

Anyway, you guys are right. I do have my whole life ahead of me to figure out what "Love" truly is. So far, this is love to me. This is what love feels like. A crush was me liking Abby in 5th grade thinking she was so awsome because she was blond.

This, this to me... at this moment in my life... this is what I will call love.
I hope you guys don't think I am a troll or anything, but I really find this to be love. But you guys are really helpful. Please keep the comments coming because they calm me down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

cute doggie

Thanks! =)

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0Listener0

Well here is the thing. I am one of those much more mature kids. I stick up for people when they get picked on even if the person picking on them is my friend. I find many kids around me to be stupid and selfish, yet this is the typical life of a 14 year old. Am I right so far?

Anyways, you guys are right. I do have my whole life ahead of me to figure out what "Love" truely is. So far, this is love to me. This is what love feels like. A crush was me liking Abby in 5th grade thinking she was so awsome because she was blond.

This, this to me...at this moment in my life...this is what I will call love.
I hope you guys don't think I am a troll or anything, but I really find this to be love. But you guys are really helpful. Please keep the comments coming because they calm me down.

Sure man, love isn't no reason, isn't no ryme, its whatever you call it, but you may end up hurt if you think like that

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZoeMarie

Thanks! =)

Hehe! No problem

Hey, I know how you feel, I'm around your age, just 2 years older. I won't give you the typical answer of how you have your whole life ahead of you, and should find a new crush etc. If you really like this girl, and it seems like you do, don't give up. BUT.. don't get involved or try to break her up with her boyfriend. That's a big NO. If it was meant to be you will get your chance, when that chance comes, pounce on it. But for now you have to wait. I suggest not reading their comments etc. When she is eventually with you, and I'm sure she will be because you seem like a really good guy, like me (haha) and I bet if you got a chance you would treat her like gold... make sure you don't take her for granted and enjoy every moment with her. You may be 14, and I won't say it will last forever if it does happen, but 10 years from now you might be thinking back at your memories together.

Good luck.

I know how you feel, and I liked a guy for three years... We ended up dating for two months, once we had each other it was like the "love" faded away. You are not in love, you are in lust or puppy love. It's more mature then your 6th grade crush who was super cool cause she liked Transformers, but it's not like you'll climb over mountains or walk over glass to be with her, despite how much you say you would. She has a boyfriend, and even though teenage relationships don't last, you shouldn't be waiting for hers to break. Move on muchacho, you'll get over her if you just realize that she isn't as amazing as you think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0Listener0

Well here is the thing. I am one of those much more mature kids. I stick up for people when they get picked on even if the person picking on them is my friend. I find many kids around me to be stupid and selfish, yet this is the typical life of a 14 year old. Am I right so far?

Umm... well, first off, TRULY mature teenagers don't think of themselves as mature (which is what ALL teenagers think) as much as thinking of others as immature.
You stick up for people? Big deal, that shows you're a pacifist, not mature.
Most teenagers think those around them are stupid and selfish. Thinking down upon others is a sign of YOUR OWN selfishness and immaturity.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't sound any more mature than any other fourteen year old out there, and, YES, it is typical of kids your age.

Anyway, as far as your girl troubles, if she has her own boyfriend, and obviously likes him (as, even if they don't know what love is, teenage girls don't say "I love you" for no reason), then she's not willing to give him up for you. And, if you are too akward around her to even talk to her, then you aren't mature enough to get past that akward "Umm... I like you..." stage.

Focus on your schoolwork, as that is much more important in your life right now than any girl, and your love life will fall into place where it belongs.