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-   -   Some of my poems, what do you think. (first one is my favorite) (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=373524)

  • Jul 8, 2009, 10:33 PM
    jenniepepsi
    Some of my poems, what do you think. (first one is my favorite)
    (this is a REDO I did of this poem after my daughter was born.. )

    Like a shadow, like a dream
    Like a feeling, A feeling in me
    A feeling of love, Growing within
    Life depends on the love that I Give
    A child's cry, brings a smile to my face
    A child, my child, crying in HIS grace.
    The Lord lives on, as a feeling in me
    Like a shadow, like a dream


    (This is the original, I did it in high school, I was depressed and morbid and all that lovely teen stuff)

    Like a shadow, like a dream
    Like a feeling, a feeling of greed.
    visions of demons dance through my head
    The voices are there, dwelling within
    With the down spiral of greed...
    Like a shadow like a dream.



    (and this is another one from my depressed teen mind :P)

    Evil, its everywhere
    In the halls, on the stairs
    I look around, its in the air
    Its in his breath, and in her hair
    Its purpose; to make my life miserable
    No more hiding, no more running
    I am finished with this world
    No more will I wish for his embrace
    Or his calm voice
    Love is undeniably unnessisary
    And I don't have it
    Sadly I continue, for I have found a friend
    She is one of my own kind
    Like me in many ways
    She tells me she needs me
    She tells me to live on
    And I listen to her, I do live on
    And as I reach to give my embrace
    I realize in dismay
    My new friend is nothing but a mirror.
  • Jul 8, 2009, 10:35 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Forgot one. This one was made when I was a new mother, and her father left us for another.



    I sit thinking of better things in life.
    Like your soft quiet voice.
    And your deep brown eyes.
    And the way you so tenderly care for me.
    Then you think of another.
    Who rarely even notices you.
    Your so confused...
    And you don't know what to do!.
    Oh GOD STOP THIS! Please!
    Someone save him from his insanity!
    He love's two. But I love him!
    But he cannot live without the other!
    So you sit there on that cold floor.
    And believe you can live without.
    You don't need her love, all you need is my love.
    And I will carry your love with me.
    Till the end of time, my one, my only
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:26 AM
    Chey5782
    Oh these are beautiful! I think poetry is one of the best forms of self expression possible. I hope you save these for your daughter. It hadn't occurred to me to post poetry on here. What a great idea, thank you for sharing these, they are so personal. *cheers*
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:24 PM
    Bakkenpoet
    I'm thinking that these poems were useful to you--for therapeutic reasons. Perhaps, because of that, you shouldn't be so interested in whether they are good poems. They aren't.

    Reading lots of strong poetry is the best way to begin to discover what "good poetry" involves.

    Hope these comments are helpful. I really don't mean for them to be harsh.
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:27 PM
    redhed35

    Jennie,loved the dark morbid stuff.. but I'm an emily enson fan.. love her.
    'i felt the funeral in my brain
    The mourners to and fro'
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:28 PM
    redhed35
    Emily d***enson is NOT a bad word,it's a surname!
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:36 PM
    Bakkenpoet
    Wait, the name Emily inson gets censured here? What?
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:37 PM
    Bakkenpoet
    I guess that answers my question. How lame.
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:39 PM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Bakkenpoet View Post
    Wait, the name Emily inson gets censured here? What?


    The site just picks up the first four letters as bad langauge..
    Happens sometimes.
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:39 PM
    jenniepepsi

    No offense taken hon. I'm not a poetry guru or anything :) I just wanted to share them and see what people thought. You are right they were thereputic and good for me :)
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:40 PM
    jenniepepsi
    Is her name emily D a m n I n s o n?
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:42 PM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    is her name emily D a m n i n s o n?


    English poet.. locked herself in her room for years..
    The surname is d**kinson...
    I'm afraid I can't tell you,your going to have to guess.
  • Jul 23, 2009, 12:42 PM
    jenniepepsi

    OOOH never mind. Its like charles ins (which will probably also be edited hehe)
  • Jul 23, 2009, 05:25 PM
    Chey5782
    It's EMILY!! I know I know!!
  • Aug 3, 2009, 10:33 AM
    nothing lasts

    I believe in every word u said.I loved your poems so much.cary on!!
  • Aug 3, 2009, 11:22 AM
    jenniepepsi

    Awww thank you hon!
  • Aug 3, 2009, 11:35 AM
    zippit

    I was wondering if I could share one my uncle wrote before he passed from lukemia last month its short.
  • Aug 3, 2009, 11:39 AM
    jenniepepsi

    Yes of course!
  • Aug 3, 2009, 11:48 AM
    MaddieLove
    I think they are beautiful, very full of emotion. I almost cried!
  • Aug 3, 2009, 11:49 AM
    zippit

    Its called the rose

    It is only a tiny rosebud
    A flower of gods design
    But I cannot unfold the petals
    With these clumsy hands of mine
    The secret of unfolding flowers
    Is not known to such as I
    The flower God opens so sweetly
    In my hands would fade and die
    If I cannot unfold a rosebud
    This flower of gods design
    Than how can I think I have the wisdom
    To unfold this life of mine
    For the pathway that lies before me
    My heaveny father knows
    Ill trust him to unfold the moments
    Just as he unfolds the rose.

    I really like your poems jenn

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