I have found the perfect guy ever for me and he said that now he has me he feels like he's found the other half of his heart and we're soul mates. I truly agree with him, he is the best thing that's happened to me and I Love him with all my heart. I don't know what id do without him now but I'm so scared he is going to leave me now because I'm letting my insecurities and jealousy take over me.

I know he wouldn't cheat on me and I trust him 100% but for some reason no matter how much he reassures me I'm still so jealous of other girls and see them as a threat. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how's he's glad he found me, he could spend forever with me and that no other girl can compare but to me there are so much other girls out there who are stunning and have the perfect body, whereas me I don't see myself as pretty and I could be done with losing some extra weight.

Every time I see him with another girl I get this weird feeling and feel so much jealousy inside of me then feel insure all over and then I end up saying or doing something stupid and it either annoys him or gets him in a really bad mood, but I don't really mean to do it.

Now I'm worried he's going to leave me because I'm like this. But I don't want to be like this. Can anyone help me? I'm ruining the best thing in m life right now and pushing the one I love away from me. How do I stop thinking this way?
Please and thank you

Seems to spark from low self esteem. We all battle this on occasion. It takes a lot of self help and maybe even some self awareness to get over this. Talk to people about your problem, especially those who have gone through this behavior. Do you have other activities you enjoy without him? Sometimes, when we make our world about one person, it can blind us from loving ourselves enough to cope in a truly functional relationship.

I used to be the same way, very insecure. I would get SOO jealous even seeing another guy hug my girlfriend. It really is a mental problem. If you start believing that this guy chose you for a reason and no one else, you will eventually move on to the phase where you can see him with 10 girls and not be bothered because he chose YOU and not them. Physical attraction isn't everything. For most people, personality is a much bigger factor than how a person looks. Just my 2 cents, hope it helped.

Don't be shy and go get some outside help. Consider reading some self-help books. I also suggest seeing a counsellor or therapist to help you determine the root of your insecurities. Your boyfriend seems to be very patient and cares for you a lot. So don't ruin a good thing because of your own personal problems. Focus on working on yourself.

Jealousy is fed by doubt and fear of abandoment, and low self-esteem.
First, stop putting everyone else above yourself despite how pretty they are or what you perceive them to be. Because you don't know what is going on in their life. Or what they had to do to get there.
Try to control what you can and set goals for yourself.
You need to change your way of thinking, For me I love to be around beautiful smart people, It inspires me, it doesn't tear me apart.
I love that I can be with my husband around in a room full of beautiful woman, and be thankful and lucky that he is with me, and see me just as beautiful as any of them.

Because a woman that you may think is beautiful he may think the opposite. As we all have our different taste in partners.
SO while you are thinking in your head that she is hotter than you, it may not be what your partner feels or believe.

Stop feeling that you need to be competitive with other woman, and because they are more beautiful they won, and you lost.

You are the winner, you got a man who cares for you and whom think you are beautiful.


They could be wishing they were you. I bet you are beautiful. Own it, Believe it! Stop focusing on what you don't have and be thankful for what you do have.

Find what triggers it, and start dealing with it immediately. Don't say I don't know why, because the reality is that you are not satisfied with yourself. Other's accomplishments and beauty is affecting you, because you let it.
Remember you can only control your circumstances, don't let jealousy take over your life.

You need some things in your life that make you happy without him, and when you have those weird feelings, think about the what you say, and do, before you speak, or act.

That's the first step in getting to the root of your feelings, and coping with them. Acting impulsively, will make you feel a lot worse, than if you had given it some thought before hand.

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Originally Posted by sparkle27

but to me there are so much other girls out there who are stunning and have the perfect body, whereas me I don't see myself as pretty and I could be done with losing some extra weight.

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What is bothering you when you see yourself image? You should be beautiful as your boyfriend says, and love yourself as you are. Nobody is perfect even Hollywood movie starts. They have their own body image & self-esteem issues. Why do you worry that much?

Obviously projecting your insecurity to others, and seeking assurance is not healthy, and it can ruin the relationship. I guess you like him so much and are afraid to loose him. However, it is NOT fun to be with someone who has lack of self-esteem and confidence . You should gain firm self esteem to make yourself happy and make the relationship work.

I guess you are self conscious about your body image as most of young girls . If this is the case, my yoga teacher taught this to us:

Sit down in front of full size of mirror by yourself. Look at your body thoroughly with love (not criticism). Repeat the below 10 times a day.
"I am so beautiful, and I love myself."
"I am good at ..... (put something here you are good at), and I am so special."
"I am so special, and nobody is like me."

It sounds ridicules, but obviously it works. It is simply self-awareness / self-assurance process. People see what they like to see. If you present yourself as beautiful person to you, everyone will see you as the one. Do something you like, and be your own star. Don't wait until other people put you in the spotlight, but put yourself in the center of world and give full attention. Do your best to develop yourself as you want to be instead of worrying about others. If you do not love yourself, who will love you?