Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   She seems to good to be true (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=373124)

  • Jul 7, 2009, 09:45 PM
    lilbadass69
    She seems to good to be true
    All right so basically I met this girl, and she actually seems to good to be true, I've known her for a while now but not actually hung out with her till last weekend, we talk everyday pretty much all day whether it be txt'n email, msn w/e and it's pretty much like she's to good to be true, and I've always been tought usually if it's to good to be true it usually is, I was talking to her well she had a boyfriend as just friends and nothing more and her and her boyfriend were going through some rought times and I kind of guided her through it and helped her being someone she could vent to and talk to about her problems, I was respectful and never once thought of my own emotions towards her or tried to break them up or anything like that we just talked and I tried to help her out the best I could with the problems she was having within reference to my prior relationships and past experiences, and then they broke up, (which I had nothing to do with also) but now she's been single for a while and now we hung out for a couple days and she's pretty much the female version of me! On top of that she's beautiful, amazing personalitly we click comepletely, she loves the things I love, she's easy going, slow to temper, understanding etc. it's just that she pretty much seems to good to be true! And it's worry'n me like is she trying to hard to get close to me, is she trying to be something she's not, I unno how to explain it, I think she's amazing completely almost like the girl of my dreams, but like I said before almost to good to be true. I'm pretty much stuck in a hard place, cause I've been hurt so many times before... so many times and it's hard to let people in and it's like she's completely gotten past my block with no effort at all and I'm afraid that if I let her in even more I'm going to get absolutely crushed, I know I shouldn't compare previous relationships to up and come'n ones but how do you do that when you still have the thought of every single ex in your past screwing you over?? I need some help
  • Jul 7, 2009, 09:50 PM
    Torrid13

    You can't live your live afraid of others hurting you. That's no way to live.

    I think if you don't give her a chance, you'll regret it. If you really care that much about her, trust her enough to get closer. She trusted you with getting closer, right? I'm sure she's been hurt before, but that's not stopping her, now is it?

    Now stop wondering if she's the devil in disguise and sweep her off her feet.
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:24 PM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    You can't live your live afraid of others hurting you. That's no way to live.

    I think if you don't give her a chance, you'll regret it. If you really care that much about her, trust her enough to get closer. She trusted you with getting closer, right? I'm sure she's been hurt before, but that's not stopping her, now is it?

    Now stop wondering if she's the devil in disguise and sweep her off her feet.
    I really like your response and your right she's been hurt all her life by relationships!
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:30 PM
    Torrid13

    Then you know what do, Tiger! :)
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:36 PM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    Then you know what do, Tiger! :)
    Ahhh lol your right, I really needed the re-assurance of someone to tell me what to do and your right! She likes me for who I am, and I need to take the opportunities that are right in front of my face and not worry about the what if's!! Who knows, it could be the greatest thing that ever happened to me!
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:53 PM
    Torrid13

    Exactly! When we let people in, sometimes they really do change our lives forever, even if the relationship doesn't last forever. And sometimes, those changes are amazing and positive!

    So keep your head up, let her in little by little, and enjoy her company. Take things as they come, and like you said, don't worry about "what if's" and don't worry about hurting in the morning.

    Life happens, but we can let obstacles stop us. Don't put your life on hold, because life certainly won't stop for you.

    Good luck, man!
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:53 PM
    Torrid13
    We can't* let obstacles stop us. Sorry about that!
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:57 PM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    Exactly! When we let people in, sometimes they really do change our lives forever, even if the relationship doesn't last forever. And sometimes, those changes are amazing and positive!

    So keep your head up, let her in little by little, and enjoy her company. Take things as they come, and like you said, don't worry about "what if's" and don't worry about hurting in the morning.

    Life happens, but we can let obstacles stop us. Don't put your life on hold, because life certainly won't stop for you.

    Good luck, man!
    Honestly you've been a great help you really have been! I'm actually going to take your advice and go for it! No looking back, no compairing to previous relationships, I'm starting with a brand new slate, and so should she! Cause looking at the previous times I've been hurt and worry'n about it isn't fair to her and will only hurt us farther down the road, your right, I'm going for it... thank you soooo much :)
  • Jul 7, 2009, 11:04 PM
    friend4u178

    Nothing ventured , nothing gained ;)
  • Jul 7, 2009, 11:06 PM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    Nothing ventured , nothing gained ;)
    Extreamly true!! I'm sure I've made my mind up to not worry and go for it!
  • Jul 7, 2009, 11:08 PM
    Torrid13

    :) Well, thank you! I'm trying to give back what this site has given to me! There's a lot of good information on here!

    Keep me posted on how things go! *thumbs up*
  • Jul 7, 2009, 11:13 PM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    :) Well, thank you! I'm trying to give back what this site has given to me! There's a lot of good information on here!

    Keep me posted on how things go! *thumbs up*
    Lol this site has helped me a lot to, it's great and if you really want to be kept posted about what happens I will forsurely let you know how things go
  • Jul 8, 2009, 12:11 AM
    karmafish

    Here's another perspective:

    I was/am with a woman that at the beginning seemed too good to be true. She was my "dream girl" and everything about her was perfect... But I too had that feeling and I even told her that. I think the important thing is if you can sort of tell if this feeling is coming from your past experiences where you always got screwed or if it is coming from things she is telling you that may not be adding up and you unconsciously picking up on these lies/inconsistencies. I have the feeling that it was the latter for me because I just learnt that she had been lying to me about a whole bunch of stuff. IF your fears stem from past experiences then you should probably go with it and have fun with her, but as someone else said do it little by little...
  • Jul 8, 2009, 01:01 AM
    makapuu

    I would suggest you calm down, and just enjoy this period of getting to know her. Your rose colored glasses are on, so of course she seems to good to be true right now.
    The only caution would be that she just came out of a relationship and has not had time to deal with it.
  • Jul 8, 2009, 01:11 AM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by karmafish View Post
    Here's another perspective:

    I was/am with a woman that at the beginning seemed too good to be true. She was my "dream girl" and everything about her was perfect... But I too had that feeling and I even told her that. I think the important thing is if you can sort of tell if this feeling is coming from your past experiences where you always got screwed or if it is coming from things she is telling you that may not be adding up and you unconsciously picking up on these lies/inconsistencies. I have the feeling that it was the latter for me because I just learnt that she had been lying to me about a whole bunch of stuff. IF your fears stem from past experiences then you should probably go with it and have fun with her, but as someone else said do it little by little...
    I to have thought I had that "dream girl" once in the past, and I ended up getting screwed over by her, 5 guys to be exact! And that's just the sleeping around she did not including the other things she did, but I know the feeling that I felt then and the feelings that I feel now and it's totally different and not that I know that what my ex did and think this girl is perfect, everything she does seems to add up and be true, and it's never been once that I thought she was bulltin me or anything like that it's just more like a "can't it actually be a perfect gurl i've truely met" kind of thing!
  • Jul 8, 2009, 01:12 AM
    lilbadass69
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by makapuu View Post
    I would suggest you calm down, and just enjoy this period of getting to know her. Your rose colored glasses are on, so of course she seems to good to be true right now.
    The only caution would be that she just came out of a relationship and has not had time to deal with it.
    That I totally agree with and she seems to think I'm like the perfect guy but I don't want to be a rebound or anything like that and that's what worries me!

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:21 AM.