I'm looking for the age a child can choose who they live with list, of all fifty states.

They really can't choose who they want to live with but they can tell the Judge who they want to live with and why. Or the parents can decide which parent they would be better off with if it can be done mutally without disagreement. You can also work out a visitation thing that you are both happy with for the Judge to consider.

A child can not choose who he/she wants to live with. A child's opinion counts in some courts after the age of 12 but they don't base it solely on the child decision. The court usually decide what is the best interest of the child.

Simple its 18!

Nice answer scott


A judge may take into consideration where the child would like to live... he may listen to reasons... but he is only listening to the child's preference... the child does NOT choose.

Now that we have made that clear, why are you asking?

(had to spread the rep soctt) good question. Important question. For example if one of the parents are abusive, this is Definitely a good reason for a child to want to request living with a certain parent

To clarify, some states say at age 14 the child has the right to choose who they live with, regardless of a judges ruling. Every state is a little different, I'm looking for the age requirement for this in each of the 50 states.

I know they gave my son a choice when he was 15 but I don't see a purpose of a Judge ruling if the kid will over rule. In any case you HAVE to go back to court for ANY changes or desires for changes and have them approved.

I don't think you'll find any such "list." This is generally a matter of judicial discretion. I'm sure there are general guidelines but nothing absolute.

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Originally Posted by internetdjrobyn

To clarify, some states say at age 14 the child has the right to choose who they live with, regardless of a judges ruling. Every state is a little different, I'm looking for the age requirement for this in each of the 50 states.

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We've been through this many times on this board and the consensus is that no state in the US allows a child to decide which parent he or she wants to live with until age 18. The child's maturity can be considered by the court, but it's always the judge's call. That's the rule in California.

You say some states say at 14 the kid gets to choose which parent to live with? Which states are these?

Sorry, no, there is no such state that the child can choose. Some custody orders may write a age into them. But without going back to court and getting the court order changed there is no such thing.

In fact if a child would choose a parent who would be a danger to the child, or who it would not be best interest, they would never allow it.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sorry, no, there is no such state that the child can choose. Some custody orders may write a age into them. But without going back to court and getting the court order changed there is no such thing.

In fact if a child would choose a parent who would be a danger to the child, or who it would not be best interest, they would never allow it.

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Yes. Thank you.

I cannot prove it off the top of my head without doing the legal research on all states, except as to California, but I am sure you are correct. No state allows a kid to chose which parent to live with. It's an urban legend that probably got its start from a 1959 episode of Perry Mason. Wasn't it Hitler who said repeat a lie long enough and people will believe it? Very true.

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Originally Posted by internetdjrobyn

To clarify, some states say at age 14 the child has the right to choose who they live with, regardless of a judges ruling. Every state is a little different, I'm looking for the age requirement for this in each of the 50 states.

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Please post a link to this. Id like to see where it's a law what your saying that the child holds more power then the judge.

Well I would not put anything past California

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Originally Posted by internetdjrobyn

To clarify, some states say at age 14 the child has the right to choose who they live with, regardless of a judges ruling. Every state is a little different, I'm looking for the age requirement for this in each of the 50 states.

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Please cite any state and statute that says the child has the right to choose. I'm not sure where you are getting that idea, because its incorrect.

In every state the decision is made by a judge based on the best interests of the child. Some states do have guidelines as to how much weight can be put on the child's preference depending on age. But the decision is still up to the judge.

And again, WHY are you asking?

I too will say that the only age at which a "child" can choose where to live is 18 at which point they are no longer a child. Will a judge listen to their testimoney before then? Sure, however, that child does not get to choose especially if it is something other than what a judge rules in his/her best interest.

I think what internetdjrobin is talking about is when the judge says that both parents are fit, but they don't want to share custody so the judge lets the child tell the judge who he would prefer

But again, THE JUDGE LETS the child request. Its still up to the judge.

I'm in CA and trust me, there was no judge coming and asking, "ok, who do you want to live with?" I got my way in the end and my aunt and uncle ended up with a guardianship over me but it was still the judges decision.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i think what internetdjrobin is talking about is when the judge says that both parents are fit, but they dont want to share custody so the judge lets the child tell the judge who he would prefer

but again, THE JUDGE LETS the child request. its still up to the judge.

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I KNOW that the OP is misreading some laws to come to that erroneous conclusion. If internetdjrobin does bother to recheck, they will find that's the case. But then I don't expect the OP to return and admit their error. One can hope though.