GF wants a break.not sure if she is still in love with me
Hello all,
I apologize in advance as this will probably be quite a long post but I need to give all the details. Well here it goes.
I'm almost 28 and was in a 3 yr relationship up until this past March. Things have always been great between us. We never fought and always went on nice trips and did things together. I was truly in love and believed that she was as well. I was planning on proposing to her sometime later this yr because I knew she was the person I wanted to spend my life with. Anyway, there was one issue so it seemed that my girlfriend had during the relationship and that was that she felt sometimes she didn't feel desired and that the sexual chemistry wasn't always there. Everything was all right in the beginning but she started having these feelings sometime in the 2nd year and had discussions with me saying its very important to her and she wants to feel desired. (this will play a part in the story... dont worry) I knew I desired her but I guess just wasn't always open with my sexual side and saying how much I wanted her.
Getting back to the present, we went on a trip in March and things went great but 5 days after I got back she told me she needed a break. That she needed time to find herself and know if she is ready for marriage. She had always told me that she was afraid to get married because her parents were divorced and she wanted to know that she be there for me and not run away at the altar. So I took it that she just needed to sort through some personal issues and that things would be OK. We would still see each other and sleep together sometimes(I know not the best idea but when we were together it all seemed right and she reciprocated) During the first few weeks of the "break" she would make comments about when I would give her a kid and when we get a house together, so I still assumed the best. As more times passed however we still weren't getting back together and I wasn't sure what to make of it. After two months I was leaving for a business trip for a few weeks and we spent a lot of time together and had a nice dinner and it was great so I thought once I got back things would be OK since she texted me saying she doesn't know what she would do without me in her life. But while I was away we got into a conversation about how she wants to be single for now and I questioned whether it was a "break" and getting through her issues or her wanting to be single. Then she got into it saying that somewhere along the way she felt the spark went off and she isn't sure if she is still in love with me but she loves me so much, but the whole sexual chemistry thing, that I talked about earlier, put a dent in her feelings.That this is something she needs to do to realize how important I am in her life because she says I'm the perfect guy but she just wishes she didn't feel these doubts. And if she needs to meet a**holes to help her with that then she wants that. That she need sto get this party selfish person out of her system before she settles down. She repeatedly said that she does want to be with me in the end So needless to say I was devastated as this totally different from when we first spoke. That she needs to step back to know if her feelings are enough for marriage.
Once I got back, which is now 3 months after the initial discussion, of course things weren't where I wanted them to be because of this new found information. We saw each other and slept together and she went out of her way to tell me she loves me. A week then passed without talking or seeing each other since we both kind of knew that's how it has to be now since I mentioned it to her while I was away. She finally gave in and called me and said that you know the one week without talking, that she kept thinking I miss him I have to call him. That this was the first time she really felt like it was a break. We ended up getting on the topic again and she kind of repeated herself and was saying she wishes she could tell her heart to be strong for me but right now she is confused. That she couldn't keep lying to herself that she wasn't totally happy with everything, but she wants to see what is life like without me so to give her more space so she can realize she needs me in her life. And so it seems that she keeps referring to the "being desired" reason as why her feelings drifted. I've tried to be more up front with that recently with that stuff and she says she has noticed but she isn't sure if its too late. She said you wait so long for someone to be a certain way and that she gave up.
We had such a great thing and I feel that if you have loved someone there is always that in love feeling somewhere and that it just needs to be reignited and she said that maybe after some space we can start over and take things slow and try to rekindle everything. All I know is that I love her so much and I don't want to lose her. I'm heartbroken. I feel like she is trying to get the feelings to where they once were but just needs time to realize I am the one for her since over the relationship she would say "you are the one im gonna marry". Im not sure if other factors may be affecting her to think straight but there are lots of personal things right now with her.
I know this has been hard on both of us, but I can't just give up on her. I love the girl to death and was ready to propose. Im going to give her the space she wants now with no contact but I'm not sure how else to proceed. Its just been weird because of all the mixed messages which I couldn't even write here. Sorry for this long winded post but I needed to get a lot of the info out there. What should I do? Is there any chance for us getting back together? Any advice would be welcome. I just don't think she can throw away everything we have been through and done over the past 3 yrs. How can I get her back?
