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-   -   Dad and my relationship dysfunctional (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=372918)

  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:05 AM
    dave22
    Dad and my relationship dysfunctional
    Ok... I come from a religious background... I don't know how that happned... my dad was a hippy or so I have been told. My whole life he wanted me to follow what he believed and to my dismay I did until I was old enough to realize that it was a bad relationship and I knew I had to do something. So I wanted to get far away. I went to the army and finished my three years. Now I am living by myself. My dad wants me back and he keeps thinking he could still make me a model into who he wants me to be. I try to be reasonable and respectful, but it gets me sad to see that he will never get my arguments... even though I am usually quiet about my thoughts and try to be reasonable. What do you think I should do? Should I be respectful and just listen to him even though I don't agree to a word of what he is saying or should I just distance myself from him. Or should I just live my life how it is now? Thanks for reading this and I am looking forward to some answers.
  • Jul 7, 2009, 10:18 AM
    artlady

    As an adult ,your father needs to respect you and understand that you are not going to be whatever it is that he wants.

    Just as you would not expect him to live life a certain way.

    What works for one person does not always work for another.

    Clearly,you have your life in order and he should be proud of your accomplishments.

    Tell him in no uncertain terms how his trying to make you conform to his way of thinking and lifestyle makes you feel.

    Tell him that you are happy with who you are and that you would like him to feel the same.

    If he can't or won't comply,perhaps distancing yourself is the best option.Maybe if he realizes he may lose you,he will rethink his position.

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