I catch my hubby looking at porn a lot this bothers me because I am horney all the time but he doesn't give it to me like I want which sometimes I understand but then I catch him looking at porn after I put the offer out there and he denies me what is wrong with me??

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Originally Posted by worriedwife27

i catch my hubby looking at porn alot this bothers me because I am horney all the time but he doesnt give it to me like i want which sometimes i understand but then i catch him looking at porn after i put the offer out there and he denies me what is wrong with me??????

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am I the problem?

Sorry. Someone balance that for her. I thought it was a different poster. Not the OP. my apologies.


You are not the problem. Sometimes men like porn.

My hsuband did as well. Try TALKING to him. Be honest about your feelings on this subject and let him know how it is making you feel. Honesty is the best thing for any relationship.

And again, I am sorry for the 'reddie' I thought you were a different poster.

I don't think you're the problem, he is. Better talk about it over coffee. What else is going on in this relationship?

The issue is he has a addiction and a problem. Personally put a porn blocker on the computer

Don't take his interest in porn personally at this stage, he may just be looking for visual stimulation, and this could be separate from his relationship with you.

Why don't you have a good talk to him about it? Perhaps you can incorporate some of the porn activities into your sexual relationship.

However, you won't know any of this stuff unless you talk to him about it - try and look at it as a way of improving the communication and the sex between you - not just getting what you want. If he's using porn as a replacement for your sexual relationship, then I suspect you'll need to have an even longer talk.

What is it with women and their obsession to be the center of attention at all times.

Porn has nothing to do with you... in fact, its possible you have done nothing wrong, UNLESS you nag him, and complain incessantly, sulk, etc... in which case it might be.

Guys are visual, we are wired that way... its genetic. Since prehistoric times when we were hunters and gatherers its been that way, it will always be that way.

So what he looks at a little porn? Would you rather he drink a few six packs of beer every night?

I see NO signs of any addiction here... "a lot" is purelty subjective... do you watch "a LOT" of soap operas? Do you read "A LOT" of romance novels?

Now there are certain behaviours that will put a man off. Being you know his dislikes best, Are you doing any of them in a punitive manner? Just asking, as it is a common behaviour that can escalate problems. Problems are rarely one sided, and nearly always have components from both sides fueling the issue. Just trying to determine more that's happening that wasn't mentioned.

Yep, time to talk it out. I don't think porn is generally a problem but in this case I would say it might be.

Porn addiction, and low self esteem, are a killer combination for any relationship. Its hard when both partners have issues they either don't know about, don't know what to do about them, or worse, don't even acknowledge them.

The biggest killer is when partners take things so personally, they fail to see the issues, a partner has, because they are so wrapped up in their own. That's when a good objective 3rd party has to step in, and show them how to help themselves.

Sometimes its best when your partner will not seek that help, you have to help yourself, so you understand what's going on.

Lack of honest communications, is a good place to start. But first, you must be honest with yourself.

This isn't about porn, or sex, but the way you relate, and interact with each other. The feelings that rise from your behaviors toward each other.

That's why I asked, what else is going on in this relationship, besides having symptoms of a bigger issue that needs resolving??

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Originally Posted by worriedwife27

i catch my hubby looking at porn alot this bothers me because I am horney all the time but he doesnt give it to me like i want which sometimes i understand but then i catch him looking at porn after i put the offer out there and he denies me what is wrong with me??????

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Hey there. Don't worry. There's nothing wrong with you. He has a different fixation. I had a similar problem in my marriage, except I was the one with the porn problem. Our problem though was that I stayed horny all the time. I would have taken it every time it was offered to me, but the offers came fewer and fewer when she found what I was looking at. But just don't get it in your head that's there's ANYTHING wrong with you. He simply has a different kind of sexual fixation. And pornography is in fact addictive. I could explain that too if there was enough room in these spaces.

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And pornography is in fact addictive. I could explain that too if there was enough room in these spaces.

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The box for comments can be expanded, just go yo the upper right hand corner of the comment box and type away. I would be interested in you sharing your knowledge and experience, as we could all use the info.