My name is dave. I am 22 years old. I come from a very religious background and therefore my family never let me have a relationship with any girl. I decided I didn't like that and went to the army. I finished the army and now being out feel real weird around girls... its not that I am gay, its because I feel socialy incapable of having a relationship with a girl when I know nothing about them. I guess its because I am shy? Any suggestions?

Hello, I too am in the army and also come from an extremely religious family with some of the same constraints as you. I used to not be any good with girls till one day it all clicked. The big thing is you have to be confident about yourself, get some new clothes and haircut, feel good about yourself. Maybe join some clubs get some social interaction under your belt and meet woman in the process. Trust me you are not bound to being shy for your whole life your young and have plenty of time.

Are you interested in any sports?

Mixed gender sports teams are a great way to start gaining confidence with girls. It gets you interacting with them easily as you know you already have something in common (your chosen sport)

Rule #1. YOu don't plan out your life with her before you ask her out.


So what if you don't know anything about her, that's why you date. If she's cute, or shares an interest ask her out... most may not work out, but some will. Eventually you find the right one. That's how it works. And yeah... you can do this without sex. If the relationship doesn't work outside of the bedroom, then you don't have the right partner.

Just treat a girl like another friend and let your feelings and all grow. In time you will feel comfortable.

I answered another question with these words:

The proper sequence is acquaintances, friends, good friends, partner, lover, mate. Any other progression takes tons more work.

Hope that helps.

Thanks guys for your help. I will try some of them and I will come back and tell you how it goes. Thanks

ARRGH!

NO! Chat! Speak!

Any further chat speak will be deleted

Army man? Hmm Just dress in your uniform ;)

According to regulations they are not to wear their uniforms unless on duty and going to and from work, They aren't suppose to wear it for civilian things.

Meeting lots of people in different settings and getting to know them - both guys and girls is the best way to both make friends, and in the longer term create relationships.

You need to get practiced at being round groups of people where there are girls and just talk to them. All people like talking about themselves, so act genuinely interested and find out about them as people - what do they like? Where do they work? What do they think about things? This works well if you're shy - it takes the focus off you and gets the other person talking about themselves.

I come from a family of girls and went to a girls school so when I went to Univ. I thought that guys were alien creatures (mind you, some of them were!). But it was hanging round in groups that really helped me get used to being with guys, because there was no pressure, and they were just friends. In the end I realized they were people, with essentially the same feelings and emotions as me, and I began to relax, be myself and have a good time.

Focus on creating friendships rather than relationships, and the rest will work itself out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by N0help4u

According to regulations they are not to wear their uniforms unless on duty and going to and from work, They aren't suppose to wear it for civilian things.

---

I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Regs may have changed, but I was encouraged to wear the dress uniform for religious services and official functions both while off duty and on leave. I'll grant it was a long time ago when I was in, but Uniform Regulations take a while to change.

Edit: Check the regs, Dave22. It can grab peoples' attention.