Same old story. Getting her back.
So I am new here, but am looking for advice. I will try to be as detailed as possible. My fiancé and I broke up about four and a half months ago. We are both 24, and had been together for roughly five years. We were engaged for a little over a year and no date was set. The reason we had not set a date was because we were waiting on me to graduate before we got married. She gets her MBA in December, and I will get my BS in the spring(In Air Force reserves and have been deployed. That is the reason for the lag in our degrees). Our relationship was not perfect, but it was pretty close to that if I may say so. There had always been more good than bad in our relationship up until the last six months. We had lived together, but I moved out and got my own place, because our grandparents found out and were pressuring us not to live together until we were married. We had planned our whole life together and even had names for our kids. Also, she is not my first love or crush. I have loved other women before and thought that we would get married, but a couple of weeks or so after we broke up, I realized that she wasn't it, and that I had moved on. It has been almost five months after she broke it off with me, and I go to bed thinking about her, dream about her, and wake up thinking about her.
About 1.5 years ago, my parents got divorced. This was something that was very sudden and NO ONE expected. Needless to say I took it very hard. And rather than stand up and face the problems that I was dealing with, I shut down and regressed a little. Basically, I went from being a responsible mostly mature(after all I am male) perswon, to a "drunken 18 year old frat boy". I was once that, but it was when she was a drunken 18 year old sorority girl, and we grew out of it. Needless to say, she was not happy about that, and really wanted me to change. I found it easier to not change, after all that was some of the best times of my life. After eight months of her begging me to stop drinking so much and going out with my friends, as well as going to class(enrolled in school at the time), and actually getting a job instead of sitting on my ***(I would work, she had enough. She told me that she had made up her mind that I would never change, and that she didn't want to be with someone like that(and I don't blame her). We have now been separated or broken up for 148 days and it is killing me. To be honest, I took her for granted, and thought that she would always be there for me, no matter what. There was never a problem of love between us, she just got tired of putting up with me not caring about my life and working out my problems and taking my stress out on her. Since then, we have hadsome contact, most of it has been me begging her for another chance, or us arguing about me getting another chance. I saw her out a week ago with her new "friend" and she blew him off the entire evening and followed me around like a puppy dog. The next night, she called me, not him to come over and take care of her when she was very sick. And of cousre, being a shmuck I went and sat by her bed all night taking care of her. She still has that look in her eyes when she looks at me, which is the same look that was in her eyes for the past five years, and has even told me that she still cares for me that way, and would really like to give me another chance, but she is scared that I will go back to the way that I was.
Since we have broken up, I have worked my demons out, as well as cleaned up my act, because I realized how unhappy I was doing that to myself as well as to her and us. I have begged and begged the whole time we have been broken up, as well as promise her I will change and not go back to the way that I was(and I won't), but it just seems that by me doing that I am pushing her away. Her dad and a step brother(hew thinks she is an absolute *****) have told me that to just be patient that she will come around and that they both know that she still loves me, because they have talked to her separately and that they both strongly feel that we will get back together. I have read online that the things that I have done since our breakup is actually not the best thing and that I should "let her go" so that she will realize that I am gone and want me back. I do not know if this is true, and I just happened upon this site and was hoping to have some questions answered.
I believe that should be enough info for my narrative and hopefuly someone can help me with these questions
1. Am I really puushing her away by doing those since we have broken up?
2. Her dad and step brother wouldn't lie to me about that would they
3. Is there someone that could help me out on this? I am still in love with this woman, and realized that I did muck up, and that I want her back more than anything else.
