So I dated this girl that worked at my office for 3 months and everything seemed great. But then she broke up one day saying that she feels too much pressure with all the romance and that her life is too busy and she doesn't feel that this is the right thing in her life now.

Of course I was heart-broken as this was only her decision and she was the one who started liking me before. I tried to call her and text her but she didn't seemed to reply to any. Then I stopped contacting her.

Since past couple of months I have been working at a different location so I didn't see her neither I felt like seeing her face anymore and was trying to get her out of my head.

Now after 2 months she called me and says that she didn't see me for long time and she wanted to know if I was all right. I was of course surprised to receive that call. She also said that she will see me when I come back.

When I was back and I tried calling her but she didn't pick my call and neither replied to it.
I felt like the same as I felt after the breakup. She could have just picked my call or replied to it even if she didn't wanted to meet.

My question is that why would she call me after a long time and try to be nice, when she doesn't really want to talk to me after all. What does she want?

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Originally Posted by offtomoon

So I dated this girl that worked at my office for 3 months and everything seemed great. But then she broke up one day saying that she feels too much pressure with all the romance and that her life is too busy and she doesn't feel that this is the right thing in her life now.

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It's great that she was honest. It's better than her having to go on with a relationship and blame you later or even regret the whole thing.

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Of course I was heart-broken as this was only her decision and she was the one who started liking me before. I tried to call her and text her but she didn't seemed to reply to any. Then I stopped contacting her.

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Perhaps she wanted a little bit of space or thought that you were continuing trying to peruse her in that manner...

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Since past couple of months I have been working at a different location so I didn't see her neither I felt like seeing her face anymore and was trying to get her out of my head.

Now after 2 months she called me and says that she didn't see me for long time and she wanted to know if I was all right. I was of course surprised to receive that call. She also said that she will see me when I come back.

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Perhaps this could be a friendship? Would this be possible?

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When I was back and I tried calling her but she didn't pick my call and neither replied to it.
I felt like the same as I felt after the breakup. She could have just picked my call or replied to it even if she didn't wanted to meet.

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Perhaps she was busy? Did you leave a voicemail? I would leave it at that.

If you seem to think that this is her pattern, and if she does not return your call I would suggest to cut her off- I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone that was wishy-washy. It's too confusing and it's stress you don't need.

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My question is that why would she call me after a long time and try to be nice, when she doesn't really want to talk to me after all. What does she want?

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Like I said, perhaps she just wanted to be friends. Or maybe she now has found the "time" to have a romantic relationship?

If anything, stop calling her, texting her, emailing her, etc. She may have possibly missed that type of attention..


Good luck.

Keep us posted.

Sarah

There are too many possibilities as to why she would call you out of nowhere and why she didn't pick up when you called her.

Instead of worrying about those two things, you should focus on getting over her. Because you are clearly still affected by the break up. I'm sorry to have to say this, but if she calls you again, don't pick up.

There is a reason we recommend no contact. Because once you break the no contact rules twice, as you have by picking up and trying to call her. You reset all the progress you've made during the recovery process. Which is why you feel as badly as the first day you broke up.

Stick to the rules. No more contacting her or responded to her attempts at contacting you until you have fully recovered from the breakup.

Otherwise, you are just dragging out the recovery process and will take longer to move on with your life.

Well thank for the reply's. I really appreciate it.

@mudweiser
It would have been an less harsh breakup if she had tried to do it face to face rather than doing on a chat window. She also said that she was sorry of being a coward and not picking my calls but she could not have the courage to say it on my face.
But I tried felt really bad by that because one day you know she likes you and all off a sudden she just breaks up ans stops talking to you.
That's y I tried contacting her but she just was so cold. Anyway I had left it behind and got myself busy in work.

Now when she called me and I had no idea till now why I picked her call, may be it a one second reaction. But we just talked generally. But when she said that she will see me soon, I guess I felt like I could get back with her at least as friends.

But I guess she still thinks that I have feelings for her that's y she is avoiding me. But I just want to have her as a company sometimes because I really liked that. May be she is the one who has not gotten over the breakup yet and she still thinks the same of me.

What I really hate about the situation is that I am being avoided, isn't it OK to call you people you knew?

@I wish

I really want to do that. I want to forget her as soon as possible but something inside me still feels good for her. As I said above the thing that's hurting me is the feeling of being avoided.
I know I have been immature letting her control my feelings and I regret it.