Hi everyone I've been in a strong relationship with my boyfriend for the last past two years and we've been engaged for 8 months now. He's started working 6 days a week which I thought would be too much stress on him especially how he has to work as a waiter night time shift.
Now however he's started telling me (rather than asking) that he's planning on going clubbing with his friends from work and a few friends from his his past. The thing that I'm upset about is why would you want to go clubbing when your already in a strong relationship. He's 20 now and I'm 18. I asked him to go clubbing for my 18th with a few friends but he insisted that I could do other stuff which didn't involve going out and getting drunk. So I decided not to go, I thought to myself that me going clubbing would likely bring trouble with other guys anyway.
I guess what I want to know is, does anyone else have to put up with there husband/boyfriend suddenly wanting to go clubbing? (he's told me the ONLY reason why he wants to go is to have a good time, not to look at other girls)
I don't know if it's just me being parranoid but I just don't feel comfortable with him going out till them kind of hours when you get a lot of trouble at clubs as it is and well surely there are more better things for a man to do?

Any of your oppinions would be so helpful, Thank you xx

First, in my opinion, you two should not be thinking about getting married so young. As far as him suddenly wanting to go out and "have a good time " , that's not what engaged people do. Not at all, having that good time involves the whole night club drinking, dancing, flirting, all of it. Every once in a while, in a healthy relationship, I personally feel that you need to go out with friends in that environment. You need someone else to make you feel pretty/handsome. We all need that little ego boost. As long as it doesn't go any further than that. The more you go, the better the chance is that you are going to be naughty. Especially while you're drunk. Tell him that YOU'RE going to start doing that and see what he says. Good luck and please rethink the early marriage thing, life is too short to start on a TOUGH path.

Lets see, HUMMM, he is selfish, he is immature, he is becoming an alcoholic, he does not care about you any longer. Take your pick, any or all of the above could apply to him. Dump him and quit wasting your time on someone who obviously does not have your best interest at heart.

Bd's quote : "I asked him to go clubbing for my 18th with a few friends but he insisted that i could do other stuff which didn't involve going out and getting drunk. "



Looking back on this I see that he is very controlling. He somehow has you under his spell. What's up with that? You are your own person, remember that. This guy is obviously not ready to get married, and is just now getting started with his hell raising days. This is just the beginning. Trust me, it's a matter of time before he cheats. Find yourself a man that will treat you like a LADY and spend his off time with YOU.

Well thank you for your honesty. But I'm not concerned that he will cheat on me at all! He doesn't even drink. The thing which I was more concerned over was why the sudden desire to want to go clubbing with his friends?

His sudden desire to go out and have fun with his friends? Why don't you just go with him and enjoy your youth while you still have it. You only live once. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years. He goes out every other weekend, but he makes sure that the weekends that he doesn't go out (when we have a babysitter) That we go and do simple things together. Like go watch movies, out to eat, or just relax at home. You have to let him go out the more you try to keep him on a tight leash. the less he's going to want to be around you.

What does drinking have to do with cheating?

Somebody put he's going to become a alcoholic? Which will encourage cheating, so I don't see how he's going to have any liable reason to cheat when he's not going to be drinking is what I mean by that.
True point there. I'm not trying to keep him on a leash I would have preferred if he went somewhere other than clubbing with his friends but his friends don't seem to do much other than go clubbing.

That's how my boyfriend and his friends are also. When he goes clubbing with his boys you could always have a girl's night out?!t

I haven't got my id yet lol otherwise I would be going clubbing with my friends. I guess I was just worrying over the fact of him going out where loads of girls will be dancing. I'm not saying I'm jealous although it may appear it I just wish there was something else he could do wish his friends which didn't involve him watching other girls dance lol. Because I know one things for sure with my boyfriend he doesn't like to drink or dance.

Well men are going to look at women regardless. If they have a woman or not. Eyes wonder, but that doesn't mean they are going to act on it. If you can't go clubbig go somewhere with your girls where you don't need an ID. If you're having fun then your mind won't be on what he's doing so much and who he might be dancing with or looking at. Believe it or not most guys would never date a girl they met at a club...

That is very true! I'm just worried about losing him to another girl I guess with me being his first proper girlfriend and his mates are complete fools and cheat on their girlfriends whilst going clubbing which my boyfriend has told me about previously while they're girlfriends are totally oblivious! Which just makes matters worse! Your right I'm going to go out and have fun and take my minds of things. It's just me being silly I guess when you love somebody so much you don't want anything to jeperdise what you have if you know what I mean.

I know EXACTLY what you mean but if anything bad happens then at least you will know before you get married

True lol which I hope nothing does happen because even if it did I would never know his friends don't have the balls to tell me! But hey he's only going once a month so I guess I will let him go and have fun like you let your man