Hi , I have a big problem and I know its destroying my relationship with my boyfriend .
I get jealouse like crazy , and he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold I want him to get jealouse a little bit I want to see him jealouse .
I get sooo jealouse I start crying and getting angry . I know am like this cause I love him sooooooooooooooo much but I can't controle it .

Hi basii, the above link on 'overcoming jealousy' happened to catch my attention and after doing their online test on self-esteem, found myself purchasing two of their workbooks that I'm finding especially helpful at the moment - although have to stress I have no connection with the owners of the site whatsoever and I'm not suggesting you should purchase anything. Still, the workbooks on jealousy and trust are exactly what I need right now, and I can recommend both of them.

Overcoming Jealousy
Everything a Woman needs to overcome jealousy & insecurity
Selfesteem4women - Self Esteem Home Page

What I've come to understand without the help of any book is that it isn't healthy to blindly trust anyone. The fact is, we can't always trust the person we've allowed into our lives and there may be times when our jealousies (gut instincts) are justified. The key is learning how to recognise the sort of person you can mostly trust and once you feel more able to do that along with having the confidence you can manage your life independent of the relationship, should find it easier to attract the sort of partner in your life who you can gradually build a solid foundation of trust with, along with fewer reasons to be jealous.

Before you worry about your boyfriend, worry about yourself. You need to work on your confidence and self-esteem.

See a counsellor or a therapist if you have to, but take care of yourself first and foremost.

Jealousy is not attractive. I was jealous of my boyfriend's ex girlfriends because they called him all the time for birthdays, holidays, just to check if he was single. I turned into a witch after each phone call. But then I realized that if my boyfriend had a choice, he'd probably rather spend time with a pleasant ex-girlfriend than a psycho-crazy current girlfriend. I cannot stop his ex-girlfriends from calling him, but I can reassure him that he made the right choice.

Don't kid yourself. You don't love your BF soooooooo much. This is not where your jealousy comes from.

Your jealousy comes from fear. Fear that he will not love you soooooooo much, fear that you not good enough, fear, fear fear.

You can't make someone love you. Start by learning how to love yourself, start by thinking that you ARE good enough, start by ditching the guy that's so cold to you and choosing someone that's warm and responsive.

As frangipanis suggested, start by thinking about why you respond this way and take positive steps to understand yourself and do something about it.