Ask Me Help Desk - 2 kids 10 years old having sexual contact

My family is falling apart. I have a 10 year nephew his really smart and I have a 10 year old cousin who was diagnosed with autism. His looks like a normal kid he just reacts really slow to situations and when he is trying to explain things it takes time for him to get everything together. Well now in the vacations they were left alone like 3 or 4 time because my aunt doesn't drive so she need my sister to take her to doctor appointment for her younger daughters. All of them didn't not fit in the car so since the boys were older they would stay at home and play playstation. So they though they were playing playstation but they were wrong. My aunt found out because her son was complaining about a rash in his butt saying it hurt when she was checking him she didn't see no rash so she asked where he said on his butthole then my aunt saw something different which was no good so she asked him what had happened and he cry and told her that my nephew had told him not to say nothing. He then confessed that my nephew had put his private thing in his butt. So my aunt called my sister and they when over her house my mom did too. But instant of solving the problem it got worst. My nephew he is great on lying and making up stories because my sister made him the way he is. At first he acted like he didn't know what they were talking about like everybody was crazy then later on he said that my cousin started everything but deep inside my heart I know that's not truth. My cousin is really close minded he doesn't see things like that so my sister and my mom believed everything he said and started accusing my cousin saying that he started and that he probably liked it so he should not say nothing 2 nobody else. My aunt is confused and doesn't know what to do because my cousin goes to special classes at school and his always getting therapies. How can she do this with out getting my nephew in trouble? Who does she need to speak to? I know my nephew needs a phycologist because his a big lier over everything he makes a story. What can we do??

Someone needs to protect the cousin who was molested - that may very well involve the Police.

My advice. Take the little boy to a therapist/councillor asap. You don't have to report or tell the therapist the name or identity of the person who did this to him if you don't want to, but this child needs to have to opportunity to deal with and talk about what happened to him. And maybe the therapist would have some suggetions as how to proceed if you chose to.

Both children need counseling now. And someone needs to make sure they're never left alone again. All family members need to be involved in this. Don't let it be treated as "kids will be kids". This child has not yet reached puberty and is sexually assaulting a mentally challenged little boy. This is a serious matter, and should be handled as such. May GOD bless everyone involved.

BOTH kids NEED to see therapists NOW. And doing so will, most likely, get your local children's services agency involved, since the therapists will, very likely, be required to report it.

The key issue here is that the perpertrator is only 10. Being 10 years old is a borderline age for this type of thing. It's beyond the age of playing "doctor" but kind of early to brand the kid as a sexual abuser.

But a competent therapist needs to evaluate this kid to determine whether the kid has proclivities for abuse. There is also the possibility that the kid is being abused and just acting out what has been done to him.

The victim needs to be treated to prevent further emotional withdrawal and to try to ensure he doesn't let it happen again.

Only treatment by a competent theraprist can keep the perpetrator out of serious trouble!

I might get a lot of bad feedback for this and I truly don't care. I hate hate hate child molestors and wish many bad things on them. I don't care how old these children are it needs to be reported. Your worried about protecting the boy who did the abuse? Are you crazy!! Who cares. He needs help just as the other one will. I don't care what family is involved this needs to be dealt with. If it causes bad blood with some family then so be it. Why should one boy be raped and the raper set free? He is 10 years old and did this. He needs to realize this was a major offense. If he doesn't, where will he be down the road when he is older.

This sounds like my aunts family except the kid is 11 and 17.

They both need counseling. The abuser may have been abused himself. (in fact I am almost 90% sure he has been, with a slight exception)

I am glad both mothers are working together on this. My aunt is in complete denial about her sons sexual abusive problem (who is now 19, and STILL allowed to babysit her younger kids)

Good luck on getting this sorted out. And I will be praying for BOTH boys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

this sounds like my aunts family except the kid is 11 and 17.

they both need councelling. the abuser may have been abused himself. (in fact i am almost 90% sure he has been, with a slight exception)

i am glad both mothers are working together on this. my aunt is in complete denial about her sons sexual abusive problem (who is now 19, and STILL allowed to babysit her younger kids)

good luck on getting this sorted out. and i will be praying for BOTH boys.

I was sexually abused as a child, I have never nor will I ever abuse a child or anyone else.

The person who abused me was not abused.

You can't say that you're 90% sure he's been abused. Not all abusers were abused themselves.

You're basing your answer on your family, not the OP's. It's okay to draw from your experiences when giving advice, but it's not okay to assume that the OP's experiences are the same as yours.

You have to be careful when stating things as fact. You need to be able to back up those facts, not just throw them out there because you believe them.

Where would a child of 10 learn this? My GOD-Child is 10, I can't imagine any thing like this ever going through their mind, let alone acting on it.

Something needs to be done right away.

I was simply stating that the child who was abused needs to attend therapy right away. And when I attended therapy for the same type of situation and I was underage, I was not required to report the person. In fact I wasn't even required to tell my parents. Perhaps rules are different else where. I do not think this child should be left alone with this 10 year old again, and I do agree the child needs to be protected. I didn't say this wasn't true. I simply said the child abused needs to attend therapy, and the therapist will help proceed from there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperFlowerz

I was simply stating that the child who was abused needs to attend therapy right away. And when I attended therapy for the same type of situation and I was underage, I was not required to report the person. Infact I wasn't even required to tell my parents. Perhaps rules are different else where. I do not think this child should be left alone with this 10 year old again, and I do agree the child needs to be protected. I didn't say this wasn't true. I simply said the child abused needs to attend therapy, and the therapist will help proceed from there.

Just out of curiosity - how did you manage to get into therapy when you were underage and didn't tell your parents?

And the law does require that sexual abuse be reported unless it's years and years previously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperFlowerz

Iwhen I attended therapy for the same type of situation and I was underage, I was not required to report the person. Infact I wasn't even required to tell my parents.

This is unfathomable. I cannot imagine a licensed therapist you would or could treat a minor without their parents knowledge and permission. The only type of counseling where you can get away with that is dealing with a pregnancy and that's obviously not the situation here.

Laws have changed ove rthe last couple of decades, though. Laws requiring that abuse be reported are relatively recent.