Ask Me Help Desk - Best friend and ex revenge

Ok so I'v been seeing this guy now for approx 3 months. It started as me getting back at my best friend for starting a relationship with my ex boyfriend who I'd been with for 2years and 3 weeks after we had broke up, instead of her comforting me she told me she would talk to my ex and try get us back together. But this isn't what happened and next thing I know there a couple. As I was so full of hurt pain and anger I decided to go off with this guy whom she was mad about but she couldn't have because he was her brothers best friend and he respected his best friend and refused to go off with his little sister. I knew all along that he was mad about me but would never go off with a guy my friend had a crush on. So when we broke up and I heard about my supposedly best friend and my ex the tables turned and I found myself texting him asking did he want to meet up. We did and have been seeing each other almost everyday for the past 3 months but I am still waiting for him to ask me to be his girlfriend. I haven't been with anybody else in the 3 months as I really respect him and want to give us a proper go at it. One day about 2weeks ago we where talking about previous relationships and he asked me had I ever cheated on any of my ex's. Because I wanted to be honest I told him that yes I had cheated on every body I'd ever been with but that I was young back then and if I was being completely honest I was indeed a bit of a tramp. I think that this has put him off asking me out. I don't know how to prove to him I have changed and that I do not want any body only him. Has anybody any ideas? I know it started as nothing only revenge but I do believe every thing happens for a reason and if my best friend going off with my ex put me in this position where I feel I have finally found true love well then so be it. I trust really need to prove myself to him. But how?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky_vtec

Ok so i'v been seeing this guy now for approx 3 months. It started off as me getting back at my best friend for starting a relationship with my ex boyfriend... i decided to go off with this guy whom she was mad about but she couldn't have... i am still waiting for [ex No. 1] to ask me to be his girlfriend. I havent been with anybody else in the 3 months as i really respect him and want to give us a proper go at it... Has anybody any ideas?

You can't be serious.

For one, he knowingly dated your "best-friend", she doesn't bear all blame; you respect someone who clearly doesn't respect you. Secondly, your vengeful behavior doesn't lend itself to maturity, so I'm sure the relationship will fail the second time around.

At least you were honest about it, and if you have cheated on all your b/f's, does that include the ex?

I guess you will have to accept the consequences of your past bad behavior, and even your motives for this relationship. Can't blame a guy for being turned off, or the irony of this relationship having turned out to be good for you but your past messing things up.

I think you should take this as a lesson, there are consequences for your actions and move ahead making better choices for yourself.

As far as this guy goes, he will always be suspicious of you and may not be worth the time for him to get over it. Sorry, but make the right changes so it doesn't happen again.

Quote:

One day about 2weeks ago we where talking about previous relationships and he asked me had I ever cheated on any of my ex's. Because I wanted to be honest I told him that yes I had cheated on every body I'd ever been with but that i was young back then and if I was being completely honest I was indeed a bit of a tramp.

I am wondering why you blame your past on being young... perhaps you don't want to hear this, but maybe you are just a bad person with no integrity... Maybe being honest is just a way to feel better about the things you lack?

Getting together with someone for revenge. Cheating on everyone your with.

Just saying...

Good luck! :) Start your life over with a fresh start and try and be a better person for you... it sounds like maybe you've never really stepped back and looked at what you present to people through your choices in life?

Sorry for being harsh.

Well, I'd say that you've been hit by karma's revenge. Having lied and cheated in the past now you've been honest and it's come back to bite you - the lying and cheating, that is.

Respect for yourself - that's the core of good relationships and that's what makes us behave well and with integrity in life. Behaving out of a desire for revenge will only destroy any integrity that you have left.

You may not be able to convince this guy that you've changed and matured - although I must say, I'm not convinced either. Your actions will in the end, speak louder than your words and he only has this to go by.

Sometimes we can't have everything we want.