Four and a half years ago my husband had an one night stand with a very close friend of mine stacy, only I didn't know until she showed up at our door with a baby 4 months old. Claiming that nolan was the father. ( nolan is my husband) I knew she was pregnant since I was pregnant as well and we hung out together all the time, she told me that her friend jimmy was the father but she had to get a paternity test because there was a few other possibilities. Anyway after she told us that her baby was Nolans We did a paternity test and it was true a month later Nolan was served with court papers to go to court about child support, there was a mistake in dates on his court paper and he missed the court date so stacy was awarded with $375 a month so one month after we found out stacys baby was his he already owed her $1875 in child support the only problem with that is our combined income is only 20,000 a year so this is 3 and half years later and it hasn't been paid because we can't afford it, he and I would both like to get this off our chest and be able to pay a decent amount of money but I don't know how we can afford $375 a month, what should we do?

The only way to have a support order changed is to go back to court.

How much does he make a month ? Because its not about combined income.

Have you paid anything?

What state is this in? Has he been making any payments at all? Even smaller than what is ordered? In order to get a modification he will need to petition the judge to make a modification based on his income being lower than what was used to calculate the support.

If he did not show up in court ( there should have been a court date on the paper work you received when served) And if you did not prove the court any documents proving income, it got set by the figures she gave them.

I know here in GA, if you make min wage you will still have to pay about 250 a month, other states may have a higher percentage due.

At this point, if your paper work had the wrong court date, you can file an appeal. If not you file to modify the amount due. BUT>>>>> until you modify it, you will owe that amount and owe all back amounts due.

But at least here, 375 a month is about right for a 20,000 income ( if that is all his income)

OK first of all it's not your responsibility to be paying towards his child support. I know you want to be a supportive wife but it's his responsibility. What you need to do is start keeping the money you are earning and spending it on saving for a life for yourself if the situation should come by. Let him take responsibility for his actions. Come on... she slept with your man and didn't even drop a hint that she did anything with him and by the sound of things she seems to have gone around. And he betrayed your trust... you need to begin to think about thing's for yourself and not allow people to abuse your trust again. He needs to be a man... they can only make the child care according to his income.. he needs to get his papers together.. not yOURS and HIS combined. This is his drama,. be there as morale support but let him sort his drama out.. if he was happy to undo his trousers he must man up to his responsibility... let him sort out the papers and file an appeal and show up this time and prove he can't afford to pay so his amount will be dropped according to his earning not your earning.. come on girl do what you need to do for yourself and don't let him take advantage