My boyfriend and I have been together now for 3 yrs, and we both love each other. He has a 3 yr old daughter with his ex. Now she also has a 1 yr old son, but with another man who happens to be married, and doesn't take care of the child because its risking his marriage, so basically the boy is back and forth. So whatever my boyfriend gets for his little girl, he would try get you know some things for him too.

There was one time when social services was going to take both of them because the mother she doesn't care, she just does what she feels like, she doesn't work, just linger round all day doing nothing, and party with her friends at night, what my boyfriend don't do, sometimes I don't know how them children would make it !Well being the caring person my boyfriend is he wants both kids to grow up together because they don't see one another like that because the mother gave the little girl to her godmother. So my boyfriend would get both of them like on the weekends so they could see one another play together and stuff.

But this crazy baby mother of his tries to come between our relationship all the time. She always calls him asking where he is, when he going for the little girl, and she always so curious asking him if I am there with him! Sometimes she would act like me and her is the best of friends, and she would say mean things about my boyfriend and how he treated her in their relationship. Then she would go behind my back trying to use her kids to get my boyfriend back. She even tried convince me that the boy was his child. And every time we go to pick up the kids, she always giving me attitude,and throwing insults, seriously sometimes I want to kick this trick rite in her mouth.

Even though my boyfriend told me he's ready to take the relationship to the next level, which am assuming is marriage, I haven't seen anything since he told me that, which was like 3 months ago. I don't know what it is, but I just hope he's just not saying that to keep me around and I really don't want to push him, but having to hear anything out of this girl's mouth makes me angry. I am very supportive of him,and the kids even though none is mine, but I just don't want to get my feelings hurt in the end.

Ok you have to realize something.

Whenever the other party has kids,that means a lifelong commitment to the ex girlfriend... platonically.. (at least until the kid is legal)

So she will be in and out of his life,and she has every right to be.

If you are jealous,imagine yourself in her position (single... I assume) with a kid

All the while she watches her ex date some new girl... really that must be horrible.

But maybe the split was amicable.. anyway..

This is why I don't think these types of relationships work out,unless both parties have kids from another relationship.

You and your boyfriend are at different stages in your life.

But it's just my opinion.

You have to understand that your boyfriend has a lot of baggage and this woman isn't going to go away because your boyfriend has a daughter with her.

I can't imagine how great this guy really is. Are you sure he's worth hanging onto? If he is, then you have to talk to your boyfriend more often. Ignore the other woman, only talk to her when you have to. No more social chats. Work things out with your boyfriend. Tell him your concerns, etc. Find out what he meant by taking it to the "next level".

However, if he can't give you what you want, then move on. There's no point sticking around and being unhappy.

It is up to him to set boundaries not you. Her calling about the kids is one thing but calling just to ask you is another story.

If you know she is going try cause drama with you while you are with him to pick up the kids then don't go. The kids don't need to see this and she is probably feeding their heads with who knows what.

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and step back.

Now if she isn't taking care of the kids properly why isn't your boyfriend fighting for custody? Why would he allow his daughter to be raise by a mother that isn't being a mother to her child?

If you stay with this guy your going to continue to have drama from his child's mother. He should have been careful with who he went half on a baby with instead of choosing someone so immature and incapable of taking care a child. No matter what he is going have to deal with her for the next 18 or 21 years.

He better be a really good guy to go through all this drama. You had better talk to him and straighten this mess out before you get to the next level.

If the relationship with your BF is going to the next level, then both you and he need to put clear boundaries into place regarding your interactions with the Ex.

She's creating a drama because she can, and because you both respond to it. Nip it in the bud. Don't play her game.

Simply put, it's his responsibility to deal with the Ex and the children issue. He can talk to you about them, but I would advise that you have nothing at all to do with her. No phone calls between you and her, no being there when the kids are picked up or dropped off (if you must go, stay in the car), no idle chit chat.

She and the children will be in your lives for along time. You must learn how to 'manage' her and not give her the 'power' that she currently has.

My husband has an Ex like this (100 times worse actually) and the only way our relationship has survived is by us agreeing on the boundaries of contact with her and sticking to them. It's not easy, but it's like retraining a child or an animal. Eventually when they don't get a reaction, they back off (for a while anyway).

Okay let me clear up something ,Yes I understand she will be in and out of his life, of course they have a child together, I am not against that,I support him 100% , and am not saying he shouldn't do anything because that is his blood, BUT that does not make me jealous, he is my boyfriend,and I know he loves me and I love him, I deserve to have a happy relationship with him,I am not a selfish person, however I am a classy type girl I don't bother nobody, she is the jealous one .She is just what I would call a "jungaless", definitely not the type of woman any sensible guy will want to spend the rest of there life with,that's hell on earth!

But I don't have to imagine whatever it is she is going through because SHE was the one who gave him problems which resulted in him leaving her, and moving on with his life, and finding someone better for him, Someone to love him for who he is give him the love and respect he deserves. That's the choice he made.He left her to find love, and am quite sure you wouldn't stay with anyone who you are not happy with.

Besides she is dating someone herself, plus she messing around with all kind of men, sis you not see me mention the little boy she had for the married man. That's just her character. She is jealous of me probably because she see's the relationship prospering.Its not my fault he doesn't want her anymore.She caused this on her own self, not me. Just goes to show never treat people the way you wouldn't want to be treated, and that's the price for her to pay for being bad.
;'QUOTE=57373;1828133]Ok you have to realize something.

Whenever the other party has kids,that means a lifelong commitment to the ex girlfriend... platonically.. (at least until the kid is legal)

So she will be in and out of his life,and she has every right to be.

If you are jealous,imagine yourself in her position (single... I assume) with a kid

All the while she watches her ex date some new girl... really that must be horrible.

But maybe the split was amicable.. anyway..

This is why I don't think these types of relationships work out,unless both parties have kids from another relationship.

You and your boyfriend are at different stages in your life.

But it's just my opinion.[/QUOTE]