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-   -   I blew up my relationship. How to make things right? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=370472)

  • Jun 30, 2009, 03:57 AM
    blueday
    I blew up my relationship. How to make things right?
    My long term girlfriend is very hot and when I'm with her a lot of guys check her up and so. She's much prettier than me. It kind of bothers me so I talked to her how I found other women attractive and I looked at other women in front of her. She let me know she didn't like it but I went on with it. I guess seeing her reaction made me feel she cares for me or something.
    Recently we've got into a very big fight about my actions and she said she wanted a breakup and how I'm disrecpectful and she don't want to be with a man like me. She even accused me for cheating.
    I really didn't want this to happen. I don't know how can I make things right again because I'm ashamed to admit I'm doing it because I'm afraid I'll loose her. Not just because I like to look at hot women like all men do. Please help me what to do.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 04:35 AM
    Holly23

    Ok the only way your going to get your ex back is if you confess.
    Which would be saying something along the lines of..

    Listen xxxxx the reason I did all that stuff is because I got jealous when other lads eyed you up, I wanted to be reasured that you only wanted me so I started looking at other women,I know that sounds stupid but if you give me another chance I promise it won't happen again..


    If she wants to get back, the truth never fails...
  • Jun 30, 2009, 05:38 AM
    kctiger

    Bottom line, your insecurities ruined this and nothing else. How old are you?

    Look, ordinarily, there are certain things you just don't say in front of your girlfriend. It is fine to look and human nature to feel attraction towards other girls, but why in the hell would you flaunt that in front of your already "hot" girlfriend?

    You did this because you don't think your good enough to be with her. Reality check, you had her, so you were good enough. Realize it, get your own head on straight and learn how to treat a lady. Age, still?
  • Jun 30, 2009, 05:46 AM
    Romefalls19

    You had a "hot" girl, you felt the need to make her feel smaller than you were because other guys checked her out. Last time I checked, she came home with you. Guys are going to look at your girl, girls are going to look at you. But guess what, if your committed to each other, that's all they can do. You NEVER tell your girlfriend that "that girl is hot!" That's a public execution waiting to happen. We all look, it's human nature, but be polite and respect your girlfriend, well ex girlfriend
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:23 AM
    blueday
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Bottom line, your insecurities ruined this and nothing else. How old are you?

    I'm too old for feeling this, 30 and depressed. You are absolutely right in all you said. I didn't want her to know how jealous and insecure I am. I was trying to hide it from her. I wanted her to think how other women find me attractive and how I find other women sexy besides her, so that she isn't the only one who gets hit on by other people outside the relationship. I can't admit this to her. She alreadly thinks of me less.
    She's only 22 and out of fear for not being good enough for her I told her everything about my ex lovers to make myself look better than her. But I just hurt her with it.
    Is there any way I can get her back? She's the hottest girl I've ever been with and one of the most beautiful I've ever seen and I love her. We still talk, she wanted to stay friends but I secretly wish for us to be together. Do I have a chance and how?
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:28 AM
    Holly23

    Do you only want to be with her because of her looks?

    You keep mentioning how "hot" she is but only ever said you loved her once?
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:33 AM
    Justwantfair

    Sounds like you just really want a trophy girlfriend, I don't hear anything about compatibility or love.

    I just hear a 30 yo wanting to continue to have the ability to flaunt around a 22 yo 'hottie' so that he can feel better about himself.

    A sure fire blow up in your face plan, if I ever heard one.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:47 AM
    blueday
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Holly23 View Post
    Do you only want to be with her because of her looks?

    You keep mentioning how "hot" she is but only ever said you loved her once?

    I'm crazy about her! I'm not with her for her looks. I can't handle how good she looks. I'm very insecure. I don't know what to do about it. It ruined my relationship. We were a great match. I'm afraid to get hurt by her beauty. So many guys would want to have her.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:48 AM
    kctiger

    You are 30 man! Grow up. Look, as a guy you need to have some confidence, seriously. I don't care how "hot" she is. You had her, you were good enough! Believe it.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 08:57 AM
    Justwantfair
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by blueday View Post
    i'm crazy about her! i'm not with her for her looks. i can't handle how good she looks. i'm very insecure. i don't know what to do about it. it ruined my relationship. we were a great match. i'm afraid to get hurt by her beauty. so many guys would want to have her.

    Well I don't know what she sees but this sniveling post is a definite turn off.
    The last thing a beautiful women wants on her arm is a unconfident, insecure man.
    If she wanted to be somewhere else, please know that she would.
    Just because she is beautiful doesn't mean that she is self-confident (which is the only reason why I can see her in this relationship).
    So to make yourself feel better, you made her feel worse.
    That's not love.
  • Jun 5, 2012, 09:27 AM
    marienoggle
    I been there I am in a relationship with this guy that I love dearly but I make him mad all the how I don't know how do I make it better for I do everything for him I do my best to make him happy

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