So I have been having sex with my girlfriend no problem, I get an erection like its no problem, but how come whenever I hook up with different girls I just can't seem to get hard. It is really quite embarrassing and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what it is because I had no problem getting hard for my girlfriend. I don't know if its because I get nervous or what. Any suggestions?

Are you saying that you can't get a hard on when you have sex with other women and you have a girlfriend?

In that case, it's probably because you're feeling guilty about having sex with someone other than your girlfriend.

It's called cheating.

Well... you are having "selective" erectile dysfunction... it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing concerning ED, so call it what it is... ED... performance issues... whatever.

I could have an anxiety attack and not be clinically diagnosed with chronic anxiety, right? I'm still dealing with an anxiety attack. So you are having ED/performance issues issues... its just limited in scope and situational. Likewise, a person can binge drink on a weekend in a manner they normally wouldn't and not be an alcoholic... but its still binge drinking. So call it what it is. I don't have chronic ED, but I have had ED issues on a few occasions... usually tied to drinking too much or mental blocks. It happens.

Don't know enough about your relationship with your girlfriend... some people are open to dating others. Some people think if there isn't a ring or a promise of one that all is fair in love and war. Don't know if you are "cheating" on her or whether there are fewer boundaries than most of us would assume.

For some, dating... even with a "designated" girlfriend... doesn't mean off the market. I dated one girl who completely thought that way... though I never went outside the relationship while with her, she had no problem with the idea of my dating others while seeing her. Just personal perspective on how there isn't one size fits all.

Uhm... anyway... back to the OP...

So...

Explain more about your hooking up with others and how that plays into your relationship. Are you in a relationship where she believes you will be with her and her alone? Cheating?

Also, what about the hookups? Are you drinking more when they happen?

Like I said... you are having ED issues... its just limited in scope... and a few of the biggest things that can cause ED (and there are many) in a case like this are mental blocks, performance anxiety, and alcohol use.

So... that's where id focus first.

1) are you feeling like you are cheating, going outside the relationship parameters? Again, I don't know your specific relationship, but most past gf's of mine would have seen my taking your actions as a betrayal and cheating. Very few would have said "date around as much as you want"... so... what is her expectation and do you think you are cheating?

2) performance anxiety can come into play here if you don't know the other lover well and are too worried about pleasing the other person and not letting yourself mentally release. Don't know about you, but most of the time I am not completely in the moment... meaning I'm trying to please the other person... thinking about what seems to be working... what she needs... which means I am not fully experiencing the moment. There is a tough balancing act going on... trying to be an attentive and giving lover who responds to the other persons needs and at the same time trying to lose yourself in the great sensations that are happening to you. So... that could be an issue... you are more comfortable and relaxed with your girlfriend, her needs and likes and what works for her, and therefore you are more able to lose yourself in the moment.

3) there are mixed messages about drinking. A drink or two can oftentimes relax a person and make them more able to block out the world during sex... but go over the line and it can mess with your performance.

After that... I don't know... there are a lot of things that are tied to ED... even if its situational. Vascular problems can compound this problem... so if you are sneaking around and your blood pressure is up because of the "danger" element, it might excite your mind but hurt your performance.

Id start there. Give feedback if something I said seems to click or not.

If Willy the One eyed wonder worm is not rising to the occaision, then you ARE having ED. And as a result its time you speak to your physician. You are NOT as invincible as you may think you are at a young age. THere are a lot of conditions that can cause this and you may very well have the early stages of any one or combination of.