My husband and I and our two children have just been out for a nice family lunch. We've finished eating and I'm drinking a glass of champagne. When he's clearly ready to go he says to me in front of our children, "so have you finished guzzling?" I feel really hurt by this comment. I feel that he has no respect for me. I would really like to know how other women would feel if this was said to them?

I don't find that offensive, but then again I don't get offended easily.

If you feel he does not respect you then tell him so. After all it is your husband, you should be able to talk to him.

Sarah

Offensiveness of the comment hinges on what has been said and done before. Other than looking at it with the past as a reference, does he usually utter off-the-wall comments like that?

If he's not an A-hole, who says gauche things all the time... Perhaps he is angry or stressed about something. Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. Ask him if being offensive was his intention.

I believe that it is only offensive if you let it offend you. I am not offended by much cause I have learned to be thick skinned about peoples remarks and consider the source (who said it and that is the way they are)
I can understand it being rude to make those types of comments especially around your children. It shows a lack of respect.
Some people are just negative (or trying to be funny). Have you tried telling him how you feel when you are alone?

If it is getting out of hand and he refuses to stop then what I would do is make comments to nip it from happening. Like he asks if you want to go out to dinner. You say NO. He asks why. You tell him because you do not want to feel humilitated in front of your kids in public by his comments.

Either he agrees to stop it or you end up not going out.

I can't believe this is the first time he has been a smart aleck in front of your kids. I think you may have taken it personally, and only you know why.

Talk about it later, or is this a common thing?

It wouldn't offend me, I'd just shrug it off. But I tend not to get upset about the little things. I pick my battles carefully, otherwise we'd be fighting 24/7.

If it bothers you then talk to him.

Ask yourself what is happening in your relationship that this remark has offended you.

There is little point asking whether we'd be offended by it - clearly you were hurt by his comment and only you can know why.

Are you feeling sensitive at the moment? Are things between you and your husband strained in any way? Is he cross with you about something that has remained unexpressed?

Relationships are full of ebbs and flows and are complex interactions between two people. Only you and he can know why this comment was made and why you were offended by it.

Talk to him - let him know that you were hurt and try, together to unpack what is happening. It may just be that he was tired and cranky or you were 'hormonal' and more easily hurt than usual. I'm not trying to trivialize it, but these are the sorts of things that can affect our day-to-day capacity to manage our interactions with other people.

If you really feel offended, let him know how you feel. However discuss this with him when you are alone with him. Let him know you dislike such comments especially in front of the children.
A lot of problems in marriages will be solved if couples will learn how to lovingly communicate their feelings to each other. If you do not let him know what you do not like , he may repeat it and you will continue to be hurt. If you bottle this for a long time, you may explode one day and that will not help your relationship.