I need to find out how and what is important to say in a ending letter. My wife and I got a divorce 15 years ago, but there is still some unresolved items on the divorce decree. We have 2 children and one is grown and one is living with myself and my new wife and her kids. I am going for custody of her and would like to stop and finalize everything in mediation next month. I need to know how to start the letter? My ex-wife is not very easy to talk to and always thinks people are picking on her and she is always right. So I don't want the letter to sound like I am picking. We have a property that is in both our names, and in the decree we are suppost to split it when sold. I don't want it and she can have it, if she stops all this non-sense. How do I write that with out affending? And for the child involved, how do I write stipulations,, etc... please help with what you think would be right...

Who asked for the mediation ? The reason Im asking is that if it was from the courts over the child custody issue then that's where your focus must remain. States like California make mediation mandatory and time there is a change in custody so the parents can work it out. So if this is through the courts then you have only one issue and that's custody. If you have both agreed to mediation and your going at it through a separate channel to try to resolve things then you need to ask the mediator what's on the table and what isn't.

The main thing when trying to hammer things out is to try to avoid the Me, I, We, and instead focus on bringing them into the conversation so you may understand their thinking on it. Instead of giving her the property she might " feel " better if she took it from you. If you can determine her needs then you have a starting point.