I have been with my husband for 12 years and we have been married 6 years. I am currently 8 months pregnant with our third child. We separated about 2 years ago and were apart for about 10 months. Then about 10 months ago we decided to try and give it another chance. After we had been back together for 6 months, and I was 4 months pregnant, I found out that he had sent a girl he was dating while we were apart flowers for valentines day. I was crushed. I thought I could get over it but its hard. And he has been acting very strange lately, going through my cell phine, breaking into my accounts online, and saying he doesn't like that I have friends. I don't know if I should cntinue to try and work this marriage out or if I should move on. Any advice from a non biased party?

I am afraid it sounds to me a case of the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. By that I mean that your husband can complain to you about having friends and that he does not like that but on the other hand he feels it is quite OK to send a woman flowers for Valentine's Day who he was dating whilst you were both separated.

I am wondering if he gave you flowers or anything for Valentine's Day.

I also feel that he was completely in the wrong by sending the flowers to, who I assume is now his ex girlfriend.

If he really wants the marriage to work I think he should break all ties with this woman and concentrate on his marriage.

Whilst you were both separated it is quite reasonable for him to have a relationship with another woman, or indeed for you to have a relationship with another man for that matter. But things have now changed and there is supposed to be an attempt on both your parts to get back together and make the marriage work.

It seems to me that at the very most your husband is only making a half hearted attempt to save the marriage and if this is the case I feel it is likely to end up in yet another separation and probably divorce.

I think you need to do a lot of thinking and try to decide whether your marriage is likely to succeed and if not whether he, and more importantly, you, feel that eventually it will come to a parting of the ways for you both.

Both the happiness of yourself and the children must be seriously considered and although it is always a sad and often traumatic thing to see a marriage end more often than not it is better than being trapped in a loveless and unhappy marriage, for yourself, the children, and your husband.

If you do feel that your marriage is doomed it may be better to end it before your baby is born,

You must also bear in mind that if this does happen the father of your children has a legal duty to ensure that they, and possibly you too are taken care of.

I am sure you will make the right decision and whatever that decision is I would like to wish you and your children the very best of luck and happiness in the future.

John
(Poseidon)

He's controlling, manipulative, abusive and a cheater. Nor matter how many good things you can live about him, those qualities are enough for you to leave him.

You shouldn't have to suffer anymore. You deserve better. Leave him and move on with your life to better things in life.