Hi everyone

To make a long story short, I am a very fussy person never been in relationship then a year ago I meet an amazing woman we fall madly/obsessively in love then things start falling apart due to my bad drunken behaviour I hurt her a lot.

She breaks up with me, I am devastated I get help for my problem I go to see a therapist she smses and phones me everyday after the break up, says she still loves me and misses me we hook up numerous times!

We keep in contact for 3 months she's the one iniuating it, I keep trying for a second chance she says its not meant to be, but keeps leading me on. Then bang! Just like that she becomes cold and distant, I texted her and she says its over she doesent want to see or text me anymore... this drives me mad I phone and texted her like crazy saying I miss her want her back, that I love her, she stand her ground and says its over.

I don't understand how she could lead me on and play with me like that for 3 months, and then just turns cold and distant!? It kills me, her last text was " i dont want to start something with texting you, love made me so blind i am angry at myself for things i let you do to me"

Is she over me so fast? Did she force herself to fall out of love with me?

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Originally Posted by emblazon

I dont understand how she could lead me on and play with me like that for 3 months, and then just turns cold and distant!?? It kills me, her last text was " i dont want to start something with texting you, love made me so blind i am angry at myself for things i let you do to me"

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You let her "lead" you on... you were both apart of this. Perhaps she found a new guy, and you two were broken up regardless. She has told you it's over, you have your closure, time to move on. Time to accept and rebuild. I really think trying to analyze why things happened the way they did is a waste of time and only upsets you more.

Hey man
She has taken her revenge of your bad behaviour in these three months... so it had better forgotten her and find a new woman to start a new life

First, You give up one addiction, and now you are sort of replacing that habit in the same way with her.
Over doing it, texting and calling her constantly is not going to make her change her mind.
Unfortanetly, we can't answer her motives of why she left you. Perhaps you were needy, I mean we really don't know the whole story but what is relevant is that she requested you to leave her alone and that is what you have to do.
Take it one day at a time, and try not to live on regrets.

Start your life over!

The most paramount day of your life is the day you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. Because learning is a part of living, and so is tribulations.
You love because it is a part of life so don't be upset with yourself for trying.

You're happiness is your own gift, the gift is yours it is a journey a must - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.

What you must do is move forward, but take it one day at a time. Let her go.

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She breaks up with me, I am devastated I get help for my problem I go to see a therapist she smses and phones me everyday after the break up, says she still loves me and misses me we hook up numerous times!. We keep in contact for 3 months she's the one iniuating it, I keep trying for a second chance she says its not meant to be, but keeps leading me on.

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If she was leading you on, you were a willing follower.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If she was leading you on, you were a willing follower.

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She kept on saying she's not sure if its over, and when I rejected meeting up with her she would get pissed off at me! I wanted her back so of course I was going to meet up with her anything to a second chance!

Exactly, so when you complain she led you on, you followed her. You had a chance to say "no" and "we either work it out or stop contacting me" but you chose to follow her down a path of confusion.

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Originally Posted by emblazon

She kept on saying she's not sure if its over, and when i rejected meeting up with her she would get pissed off at me! I wanted her back so ofcourse i was going to meet up with her anything to a second chance!

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Honestly do you want to be with someone who is fickle? Living on constant egg shells? Playing mind games? How in the world are you ever going to move forward in an a$$ backwards relationship? Let her go, and care more for your own feelings than you do for hers.

It sounds like this could be many things. 1 she was being nice to you to support you just because she broke up with you doesn't mean she didn't have feelings for you.
2. she is now realizing all the pain that you caused now that she is healing and she is becoming angry with what happened then. As all the small things and big things are now surfacing and she is finally having a chance to become angry and deal with matters in that way.

No-one can know why she behaved this way except her.

The thing that you can know is that bad behavior brings its own rewards, and by your own admission, you behaved badly.

See the experience as an opportunity for self examination and growth. In life's journey people very often don't behave how we would like them to, and we are frequently left without closure or an understanding of their motives.

Understanding yourself more will help you to behave better in relationships and be the sort of person that people want in their lives.

This is life. It's hard, it hurts, but we have to learn from it and move on.

Yes karma came back and hit me hard, I wish I could go back in time and change what I did, it was my first relationship I was so inexperieced I didn't know how to treaure true love...

She's such a beautiful peron both inside and out, and it kills me that I hurt her so much. Just wish I could stop waking up with this horrible feeling in my stomach everymorning, guilt is a feeling I won't wish upon my wort enemy.

Thanks for your advice guys I really appreciate it, I am working on myself to become a better person I will NEVER hurt anyone like that again! I did not only break her heart but mine awell... think its going to take a long time for me to get over this.

Well, try and be compassionate with yourself. You messed up and got it in the neck. No going back. But, you can forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up.

We all make mistakes... sometimes bad ones. The thing is, to learn from them!

Take care.